What to do now?

[Igoofed489]

I have a long time crush/friend who used to be long distance. She ended up moving to my state, and I began freaking out because I didn’t know what to do. On one hand she’s always been my favorite girl, on the other she’s been a good and close friend. I played everything cool until she last second canceled on me 3 times for a hang out we had planned for months. Things were always swinging between flirty and just being friends, because we weren’t around each other so there was no pressure.

when she canceled I broke down and confessed the feelings I had for her and told her I was hurt by how coldly she went about everything. I told her I would like to go on a date, and if not I thanked her for having the my back through the years. I unfollowed her expecting to be blocked, but she didn’t and has started watching all my stories as soon as they are posted. We had recently switched platforms in which we were texting, and that night she read the message but didn’t respond and I noticed she opened messages on the old platform that hadn’t been opened in a month. 
 

after a week I’ve calmed down and would really like to see her and worst case end things on a better note. I honestly don’t know if just friends could work but would have to see her in person to better understand everything. So my question is should I just wait for her to come to me? (If she ever does) or should I give it a month or so then try apologize for coming on strong suddenly and keep things light?

[ExpatInItaly]

12 minutes ago, Igoofed489 said:

So my question is should I just wait for her to come to me?

No, definitely not. 

She isn't into you that way and doesn't know how to be mature and honest about that. She wouldn't have flaked so many times and not responded to your confessional if she were romantically interested and curious to see where things might go. 

I think it's going to be best to stop wasting your time on her. 

[mortensorchid]

No, she's saying she is not that interested.  Just move on. 

 

[Maldives]

4 hours ago, Igoofed489 said:

I have a long time crush/friend who used to be long distance. She ended up moving to my state, and I began freaking out because I didn’t know what to do. On one hand she’s always been my favorite girl, on the other she’s been a good and close friend. I played everything cool until she last second canceled on me 3 times for a hang out we had planned for months. Things were always swinging between flirty and just being friends, because we weren’t around each other so there was no pressure.

when she canceled I broke down and confessed the feelings I had for her and told her I was hurt by how coldly she went about everything. I told her I would like to go on a date, and if not I thanked her for having the my back through the years. I unfollowed her expecting to be blocked, but she didn’t and has started watching all my stories as soon as they are posted. We had recently switched platforms in which we were texting, and that night she read the message but didn’t respond and I noticed she opened messages on the old platform that hadn’t been opened in a month. 
 

after a week I’ve calmed down and would really like to see her and worst case end things on a better note. I honestly don’t know if just friends could work but would have to see her in person to better understand everything. So my question is should I just wait for her to come to me? (If she ever does) or should I give it a month or so then try apologize for coming on strong suddenly and keep things light?

Sounds like you've clearly stated how you felt so the ball is in her court. Leave it. What comes to you  Stays what leaves leaves. It is what it is.

[poppyfields]

6 hours ago, Igoofed489 said:

Things were always swinging between flirty and just being friends, because we weren’t around each other so there was no pressure.

 

6 hours ago, Igoofed489 said:

She ended up moving to my state, and I began freaking out....

OP, I'm not convinced she's not into you, it's never so black and white. 

Based on above quoted, it's possible she 'freaked out' too when the fantasy of you turned into reality.

Which makes sense as when there was distance between you, there was no pressure as you said, so your feelings were free to develop freely with no expectations.

It all changed when she closed the distant gap and moved closer, suddenly there IS pressure and fear along with it.  And expectations

Admittedly you experienced it and 'freaked out' yourself but pushed through your fear and wanted to meet. 

Perhaps she's not so brave, at least not yet. 

My advice?  Do nothing.  As @Goodguy05said, the ball is in her court.  

Give her space and let her come to you. 

If/when she does, do not apologize for coming on too strong, start fresh, a clean slate and take it from there. 

 

 

Edited September 22, 2022 by poppyfields

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Igoofed489 said:

when she canceled I broke down and confessed the feelings I had for her and told her I was hurt by how coldly she went about everything. I told her I would like to go on a date, 

Sorry this happened but blurting out your crush on her made things kind of awkward.

Sadly cyberpals rarely turn into real romances.

That's ok. You're better off with more local real life girls and local real life friends.

[smackie9]

Tip: girls can be emotionally attached but not be romantically interested, so there interaction is just that..emotional attachment which is often mistaken as interest. Plus you being interested makes your brain see things that are not really there. My experience :  I never stayed friends with guys that professed their feelings for me...I always just left them alone.