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16 years - ghosted


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Been with this person for so many years, gave up having kids and married,  but then 4 year ago he proposed,  I couldn't believe it! I thought he was the one! I supported him with his job, when he wanted to quit a salary paid job to go on his own, I had my own place never ask for anything,  loved him dearly,  then the past few years he worried about how he looked so the Intimate things were few and far between because I didn't want to pressure him. His family after 16/17 years were my family,  3 weeks ago he up and vanished,  no explanation,  no argument,  no nothing.  I supported this person with everything,  now I am lost, blocked and made to feel worthless.  I am trying to be ok for my family but I really need answers 

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Have you tried to see where he is? Was there anything unusual leading up to this situation? 
where does he work? Have you considered going there/following him to see where he goes after he’s off work?

did you share a phone plan? Can you see who he was in touch with them - and now on a regular basis?

what does his family say? You’ve been close to them - what the explanation?

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5 hours ago, Catty2812 said:

,  3 weeks ago he up and vanished,  no explanation,  no argument,  no nothing.    now I am  blocked 

That's odd. He simply moved out without a trace? Doesn't his family know where he is? Does he owe you money ? Did he take all his belongings?

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He won't respond to me, honestly i was blind sighted by his actions, no arguement, disagreement...nothing, i wish there was something,  i could understand it then, its like a person I don't know , I have given his things to a family member of his, he is avoiding them as well. Found out a lot of disturbing things about him recently from neighbours that I was unaware of, how he kept this up with me for so many years is crazy! I know don't want anything to do with him.

Just got to try and move on as I am not going to get answers.

It's scary not matter how long you are with someone do you really know them

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8 minutes ago, bab05 said:

 Found out a lot of disturbing things about him recently from neighbours that I was unaware of, how he kept this up with me for so many years is crazy!

What is going on with him? Is he in jail?

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No he's not, his behaviour towards women needs to stop, he oversteps the mark and has made them feel uncomfortable,  friendly friendly then there's inappropriate and boundaries. I don't want anything to do with that but I will have my say when I eventually see him.  Funny how feelings change when you are told things by multiple people. 

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You dropped off his stuff. How are you paying for things now that he is gone?

we’re you the one paying for most things anyway?

Edited by S2B
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6 hours ago, bab05 said:
On 9/24/2022 at 11:08 AM, bab05 said:

Been with this person for so many years, gave up having kids and married,  but then 4 year ago he proposed,  I couldn't believe it! I thought he was the one! I supported him with his job, when he wanted to quit a salary paid job to go on his own, I had my own place never ask for anything,  loved him dearly,  then the past few years he worried about how he looked so the Intimate things were few and far between because I didn't want to pressure him. His family after 16/17 years were my family,  3 weeks ago he up and vanished,  no explanation,  no argument,  no nothing.  I supported this person with everything,  now I am lost, blocked and made to feel worthless.  I am trying to be ok for my family but I really need answers 

Did he live on you for free all along without a proper income?

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1 hour ago, bab05 said:

Yup, he contributed towards food.

That’s fine. More house and more food for you now. I know you’re struggling and in pain. Keep posting if it helps. Good of you to realize he’s not worth the q & a. He’s gone and good riddance. Please make sure to remove him from any joint accounts and have your affairs in order. Take care of yourself and I am so sorry this is happening.

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9 hours ago, bab05 said:

, his behaviour towards women needs to stop, he oversteps the mark and has made them feel uncomfortable,  

 What exactly does this mean?

Did you kick him out or did he simply pack some things and leave? Was he a roommate or BF?

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