Thinking about her

[McJr760]

I've just been thinking about her all day. She started a new job yesterday and I'm really curious about how it went. But I can't ask her. I'm not important to her anymore. and that hurts a lot because I care so much about her and what goes on in her life. She's puts up a strong front, but all that effort takes a toll on her and I hope she's doing ok. Before the breakup, which was just a few weeks ago, she was a big part of my life. I had never understood when someone said they felt whole with their partner. I do know because I don't feel complete without her. We were best friends. Long rides full of laughter and learning about each other. I adored her to the full extent of the word. She's smart, funny, sassy in all the right ways. I always thought about how lucky I was that she came into my life. I still think that even with all the heartache. She was good for me, kept me grounded and focused on being a better person. She was proud of me. She loved me for a minute. Time flies when you're having fun. I cherish those memories and I mourn the experiences we could've had. There have been a couple messages sent back and forth, but nothing fruitful or resolving. I want to tell her I miss her cuddles and her insistent tickling that would just drive me up the wall. I never got mad at her though. She wasn't flawless, but in my eyes she was perfect. Every minute I spent with her, whether we were having fun or just bored out of our minds, was everything I wanted. I felt complete, like I had found my person. She told me we were soulmates at one point. So many times we talked about how much we appreciated each other and loved being together. I don't know what happened that caused those feelings to erode. That's the most painful part. I was walking on sunshine while she was silently falling out of love. I was naive and didn't see the signs. Not that I didn't try. I would check in with her occasionally and see if there was anything I could improve on. Her response was always had the same message, 'No love, you're doing fine. Don't overthink things.' She was the best at easing my mind. I overthink everything and get my own ideas that drive me crazy. When I would bring it up to her, she would help me denote my notions and bring me back to reality. 'Life isn't as complicated as you think. Life is simple babe.' I can remember her saying that as we're laying there and she's running her fingers through my hair. She was good for me. I'm not ready to let her go. But I know I have to. Like the saying goes, 'If you love something, let it go. If it's meant to be it will return.' 

[Alpacalia]

4 hours ago, McJr760 said:

'No love, you're doing fine. Don't overthink things.'

That sounds very comforting.

I can understand why you feel a natural affinity for her.

I'm sure you're important to her. 

Sounds like the two of you had a special relationship. ♥️