Iced Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 My wife of 9 years cheated with a guy. She is going through some mental health issues and receiving treatment at behavioral treatment center as in patient. Right now she is avoiding talking to me unless it is absolutely necessary and claims not taking to me is giving her peace. I am respecting her space and not forcing any issues. The other day I told her I love her and she lost it. She told me she’s not receiving it and I should avoid saying those words to her. I am lost. We have family therapy session planned. What do I make of her behavior? What do woman specially those who are married feel after cheating on their husbands? Is this common? Link to post Share on other sites
Despin Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 Stop making this about her and what she might be thinking. You are the betrayed spouse, it's up to her to make things right to you- and clearly she's not interested. Chasing her like a lost puppy and in effect begging her to take you back by telling her how much you love her is just weak and pathetic- and if anything makes it even less likely that she'll ever be remorseful and want a second chance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 6 hours ago, Iced said: Right now she is avoiding talking to me unless it is absolutely necessary and claims not taking to me is giving her peace. I am respecting her space and not forcing any issues. The other day I told her I love her and she lost it. She told me she’s not receiving it and I should avoid saying those words to her. I am lost. Has she ever told you she’s interested in reconciling or working on your marriage? From her reaction to you, mental health issues aside, especially the parts in bold above suggest she doesn’t want to be with you. I’m curious what makes you think she wants to be in the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 Kindly, if she's an inpatient in a psychiatric facility, she's likely not thinking and behaving rationally. I would suggest there's not a lot you can do until she's stable. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 11 hours ago, Iced said: She is going through some mental health issues and receiving treatment at behavioral treatment center as in patient. There's a lot missing from this story. She wants you to leave her alone, so why not do that? Let her recover in peace. Why was she admitted as an inpatient? Was there a suicide attempt or overdose or substance abuse involved? When she is discharged from the facility, will she stay with trusted friends and family or go back to you?. Her supposed cheating is the least of your problems now if you have a family to take care of. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BreakOnThrough Posted October 3, 2022 Share Posted October 3, 2022 Prioritize yourself right now, and if you have kids, do the same for them. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 3, 2022 Share Posted October 3, 2022 (edited) If she is mentally ill enough to require in-patient care, I think you need to wait until her mental health issues have been addressed before trying to reconcile with her. What you are getting from her right now may be "junk" as her mind is not clear? IF she's really "turned a corner" on your marriage and has decided to leave there may be little you can do. You can't make someone still love you and/or want to be with you if they genuinely don't. However, I don't think you'll really know that and/or how deep this turn of hers actually goes until she is thinking straight again. You might consider looking into the dynamics of "avoidant attachment" with "insecure attachment" relationships. Edited October 3, 2022 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
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