Is there something I am doing wrong, if I keep mistaking assumptions for certainties, if that makes sense?

[ironpony]

Another thing I have trouble with my memory is that I often mistake assumptions for certainties.  I do this in my job sometimes, and I do this in my personal life, where I try to double check something, to see if it's done, or triple check it, and that it turns out it was not done.

For example I specifically remember putting certain groceries away that I purchased, and those specific ones have no disappeared and things like this happen quite often even though, I remember specifically doing it.  Is there something I am doing wrong, if I keep mistaking assumptions for certainties, if that makes sense?

[glows]

Can you keep a notebook or have a whiteboard near the fridge to check off things like putting groceries away? How do you mean those specific ones have disappeared? Might someone else have used them or moved them to a different spot?

[ironpony]

4 hours ago, glows said:

Can you keep a notebook or have a whiteboard near the fridge to check off things like putting groceries away? How do you mean those specific ones have disappeared? Might someone else have used them or moved them to a different spot?

They say they didn't or not that they know of or recall.  I have tried using a notebook but the problem I keep having is I forget to look at the notebook when the time comes.

[basil67]

With respect to your groceries, the answer is to bring them into the house and put them away immediately before you get distracted by something.   

[ironpony]

24 minutes ago, basil67 said:

With respect to your groceries, the answer is to bring them into the house and put them away immediately before you get distracted by something.   

I can do that usually but it seems that one of out of every 4th time, something distracting happens that I have to deal with though, and then I forget.  What do other people do about this?

[basil67]

39 minutes ago, ironpony said:

What do other people do about this?

If I get distracted and forget, then I do it when I remember it again.  But I'm neuro typical and what works for me won't necessarily work for you. 

The main question is how much of a problem is this causing in your daily life?  If it's significant issue then you need the help of a professional who can give you strategies to help remember things and possibly exercises to help improve your memory.   I would imagine that an occupational therapist would be the way to go.  

[ironpony]

51 minutes ago, basil67 said:

If I get distracted and forget, then I do it when I remember it again.  But I'm neuro typical and what works for me won't necessarily work for you. 

The main question is how much of a problem is this causing in your daily life?  If it's significant issue then you need the help of a professional who can give you strategies to help remember things and possibly exercises to help improve your memory.   I would imagine that an occupational therapist would be the way to go.  

I'm seeing a therapist now and hopefully it will help.  Well by the time I remembered the food had gone bad as a result, because I didn't actually remember, and mentally assumed it was put away, and thus when I found it later, it had gone bad as a result.

Plus another problem I seem to have is false memories.  There is a specific grocery item I remember putting away and it's not there and I am still looking for it.  So when that happens, are things like that false memories?

Edited October 3, 2022 by ironpony

[basil67]

Respectfully, these are questions for your therapist.  Is your therapist skilled to give you strategies for dealing with your memory issues?

[glows]

Ironpony, I’m sorry this is happening. I do agree that these questions would be best answered by a professional as it relates to you and what you’re experiencing. I may also forget but it’s not as frequent as 1/4x and that must be incredibly frustrating. Regarding false memories I’ve not heard of such a thing but I’d regard it as only a mistake and not think much of it. The way we process things may be different. Hopefully you’re able to get more answers from your therapist.

[ironpony]

5 hours ago, glows said:

Ironpony, I’m sorry this is happening. I do agree that these questions would be best answered by a professional as it relates to you and what you’re experiencing. I may also forget but it’s not as frequent as 1/4x and that must be incredibly frustrating. Regarding false memories I’ve not heard of such a thing but I’d regard it as only a mistake and not think much of it. The way we process things may be different. Hopefully you’re able to get more answers from your therapist.

okay thanks. Well right now I am going to the therapist for sleep deprivation issues so it'll be a while before we get to the memory issues I think. But I can bring that up. Thanks.

But ask for moving in with my girlfriend I guess I should just do it and deal with the memory problems accordingly as they come rather than not do it at all?

[glows]

3 hours ago, ironpony said:

okay thanks. Well right now I am going to the therapist for sleep deprivation issues so it'll be a while before we get to the memory issues I think. But I can bring that up. Thanks.

But ask for moving in with my girlfriend I guess I should just do it and deal with the memory problems accordingly as they come rather than not do it at all?

That’s okay. Mention it briefly at the start of your next session as there may be a likelihood sleep deprivation is linked to your memory issues but don’t take my word for it. It’s for the professionals treating you to decide. Your therapist may decide to organize the sessions in awareness of this topic as well. You can mention you’re concerned as the memory issues are frequent, similar to what you’ve shared here.

If it’s getting more frequent over time mention an increase in number of times you’re forgetting things. They will likely want to know if anything is getting worse.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, ironpony said:

I am going to the therapist for sleep deprivation issues so it'll be a while before we get to the memory issues

They may be the same thing. So why "would it be a while" until you address symptoms of sleep deprivation? Let the therapist decide. Just list all the symptoms of insomnia, sleep deprivation, etc.

[Alvi]

6 hours ago, ironpony said:

okay thanks. Well right now I am going to the therapist for sleep deprivation issues so it'll be a while before we get to the memory issues I think. But I can bring that up. Thanks.

Please, do mention the other memory loss issues to your therapist. It could all be related to your last of sleep or there could be something more serious.  I believe, you need to insist on getting checked more thoroughly and not let this issues to be swept under the rug if your therapists is going to act nonchalant about your memory problems. Ask for a referral to a neurologist from your family doctor if your therapist is not going to do anything. Many times, when I am sleep deprived, I simply cannot function well. After a sleepless night or two or three, I might forget some stuff or forget to do certain things and later on I might not even remember doing something. Insomnia sucks big time, lol.

[Lotsgoingon]

Typically this is called bad or weak working memory. Working memory is the brain's ability hold multiple pieces of information at the same time. Example: people misplace their keys. Well what really happened is that as they were putting their keys down (somewhere!) their mind couldn't record that information while thinking about other information. 

You can go to a neurologist if you want. This is common with people with ADHD, which runs in my family. You can develop steps to work around the weak working memory. Also anxiety hurts working memory as does stress as does depression. 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, ironpony said:

 I am going to the therapist for sleep deprivation issues

Are you sure you are going to a therapist? Because a therapist would not say "we are only going to discuss this one issue" and nothing else. Some people come here for professional advice and of course only your doctors and health care provider can provide that. Scroll to the bottom of the page. There is a "please note:" about that.

[basil67]

@Wiseman2 makes a good point about therapists being able to discuss more than one issue.  What kind of therapist are you seeing?   

[ironpony]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Are you sure you are going to a therapist? Because a therapist would not say "we are only going to discuss this one issue" and nothing else. Some people come here for professional advice and of course only your doctors and health care provider can provide that. Scroll to the bottom of the page. There is a "please note:" about that.

No the therapist didn't turn down talking about the issue, it's just we have been so busy working on the one, I didn't mention the other, because i was focused on working on the one issue with her. I can mention the other one though for sure!  Thanks!

She is a cognitive behavorial therapist.

Edited October 4, 2022 by ironpony

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, ironpony said:

She is a cognitive behavorial therapist.

Ok the purpose of therapy then is to help you replace self-defeating thoughts and behaviors with productive thoughts and behaviors.

For example, getting to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health, getting appropriate tests done for the insomnia, whatever absentmindedness/memory issues there are, etc. 

And asking your healthcare providers the appropriate questions for the appropriate problems.