kleaners Posted October 5, 2022 Posted October 5, 2022 I'm a month into a semi-long distance relationship. My girlfriend lives about 90 to 120 minutes away depending on traffic. Not too far, but distant enough where we only spend weekends together. To date, I've driven to see her three times to her once. Unfortunately she has a dog and finding per care has been difficult. She feeds me dinner, treats me to lunch, let's me do my laundry at her house, and even buys me small gifts to show her appreciation for my driving there and when we go out. Hopefully soon we can start splitting 5he driving responsibilities. Things are going well, so I'm not looking for affirmation, but rather advice on how to build a successful relationship despite some distance .
Wiseman2 Posted October 5, 2022 Posted October 5, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, kleaners said: she has a dog and finding care has been difficult. She feeds me dinner, treats me to lunch, let's me do my laundry at her house Do you see yourself living with a dog? Why can't she take it along to your place? Why are you doing laundry there after just a month of dating. Make sure you don't get into kid-coming-home-from-collage mode, replete with needing to be fed and do laundry. Try to keep it a bit more romantic. Edited October 5, 2022 by Wiseman2
Author kleaners Posted October 5, 2022 Author Posted October 5, 2022 34 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Do you see yourself living with a dog? Why can't she take it along to your place? Why are you doing laundry there after just a month of dating. Make sure you don't get into kid-coming-home-from-collage mode, replete with needing to be fed and do laundry. Try to keep it a bit more romantic. I have two cats, so not sure how all three would interact. I don't ask for any of these things. She offers. But I see your point. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 5, 2022 Posted October 5, 2022 1 hour ago, kleaners said: I have two cats, so not sure how all three would interact. Then where is this going to go?
Author kleaners Posted October 5, 2022 Author Posted October 5, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Then where is this going to go? It's only been a month. I don't think we should have our whole future mapped out.
glows Posted October 6, 2022 Posted October 6, 2022 Communicate and check in with each other. Tell her exactly what you wrote here. Ask her to join you for dinner on Friday night and take her out. Narrow down some events, get concert tickets if you know a band she likes is in town. The getting to know you early stages isn’t just about romance and physical intimacy. Get to know her and introduce her to your world too. Is she interested? Great. Interest is fading? You’ll see that too if you’re not compatible. Be yourselves and communicate. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 6, 2022 Posted October 6, 2022 11 hours ago, kleaners said: It's only been a month. I don't think we should have our whole future mapped out. Exactly, which is why it's bizarre to show up with a basket of dirty laundry. Where were you doing your laundry before? Can't you get it done during the week? Try to make the weekends with her fun and romantic. And yes, if she can't visit you without boarding her dog it's going to be a problem at some point. It's going to be expensive at the very least. 1
Author kleaners Posted October 6, 2022 Author Posted October 6, 2022 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Exactly, which is why it's bizarre to show up with a basket of dirty laundry. Where were you doing your laundry before? Can't you get it done during the week? Try to make the weekends with her fun and romantic. And yes, if she can't visit you without boarding her dog it's going to be a problem at some point. It's going to be expensive at the very least. I have a laundry room in my complex which I have had no problem using. She offered up her washing machine and dryer, so who am I to decline? I think she realizes I've been doing a bulk of the driving and just wants to make it up to me anyway she can. I agree, boarding every other weekend could get expensive. At some point we will have to discuss introducing our pets. I know my cats had a tough time adjusting to two visitors when I watched my ex's cats over the summer. Mind you, these are cats they've lived with prior for over seven years. Weekends have definitely been fun. We both have an affinity for collectibles, so we've been going to comic shops and toy/comic book shows in her area. Next weekend there's one in NJ we're going to, then I have tickets to see the Devils' home opener. Afterwards, there's a spot along the Hudson River which has a spectacular view of the city skyline which I plan to take her to. 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:
BaileyB Posted October 6, 2022 Posted October 6, 2022 On 10/5/2022 at 12:28 PM, kleaners said: Hopefully soon we can start splitting 5he driving responsibilities. How do you expect that given that she has a dog that requires constant care? Is the dog going to travel to your home?
Author kleaners Posted October 6, 2022 Author Posted October 6, 2022 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: How do you expect that given that she has a dog that requires constant care? Is the dog going to travel to your home? She's going to board him or hire a dog sitter.
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