Lovely Difficulties Posted October 5, 2022 Share Posted October 5, 2022 Every once in a while a member of my partner's family will be make a comment that gets under my skin. For instance, we might be out having a perfectly great time, and they might say something to my partner like, "I won't try to set you up with anyone anymore." "Whatever happened to that one girl we tried to get you to go on a date with?" "Finally, we don't have to get you to try and get girls' numbers anymore." I'm not sure if I should take these comments as positive or not, but they feel a little upsetting in the moment. My partner and I just laugh them off typically, but wondering if there might be a better way to respond? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 5, 2022 Share Posted October 5, 2022 (edited) 11 hours ago, ClassySassy said: My partner and I just laugh them off typically, but wondering if there might be a better way to respond? Sorry this is happening. How old is he? Is there a reason you must hang out with his family a lot? Who in particular is making these cracks? The father? Mother? A sibling? What exactly do they mean by these comments? That he is off the market? Edited October 6, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator remove link Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 6, 2022 Share Posted October 6, 2022 (edited) 9 hours ago, ClassySassy said: "Finally, we don't have to get you to try and get girls' numbers anymore." “He has numbers. My number, the number of years we’ve been together, our house number and the number of times this won’t be coming up anymore.” Just work it in and joke along. Adjust the sass as needed. I’m so sorry this person is so awkward. Edited October 6, 2022 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovely Difficulties Posted October 6, 2022 Author Share Posted October 6, 2022 It’s his brother-in-law who makes these comments. I’m not sure if he says them intentionally to see if I get upset or not, or if it’s to try and make it seem like my partner had a lot of options, or it’s a subtle compliment that he’s taken by me. I just don’t know if I should address it directly and ask, or just let it blow over on its own. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 6, 2022 Share Posted October 6, 2022 4 hours ago, ClassySassy said: It’s his brother-in-law who makes these comments. Just ignore him. He's not even family. He's your BF's inlaw. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovely Difficulties Posted October 7, 2022 Author Share Posted October 7, 2022 Any thoughts on why he would make these comments? Just to see if I get upset? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 3 minutes ago, ClassySassy said: Any thoughts on why he would make these comments? Just to see if I get upset? He thinks he's being funny. If it bothers you, shut it down like the poster above suggested. Otherwise just attribute it to this guy being a buffoon. They aren't really hurtful comments, just lame. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 4 hours ago, ClassySassy said: why he would make these comments? Just to see if I get upset? Ask your BF since he knows him better than you do. Getting upset is your choice and only you know the reason why. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 Figure out what will help you - if you can just ignore him and learn to see it as simply his rude and awkward sense of humor, then great. But if it's going to continue bothering you and you feel the need to say something to him, then do so, calmly and directly. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 8, 2022 Share Posted October 8, 2022 He makes those comments to get under your boyfriend's skin and to make him feel uncomfortable. I wonder if there's any truth to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovely Difficulties Posted October 11, 2022 Author Share Posted October 11, 2022 Boyfriend just laughs them off and rolls his eyes. If there is truth to them is it a red flag? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 I'm not sure I understand your question. You're wondering if it's a red flag that they no longer try to set him up with women because he now has you? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 12, 2022 Share Posted October 12, 2022 1 hour ago, ClassySassy said: Boyfriend just laughs them off and rolls his eyes. If there is truth to them is it a red flag? Maybe. I once dated a guy who introduced me to his college friends and this one guy kept saying I looked like another girl my guy had dated. It was really making my guy uncomfortable because this dude just wouldn't stop. I laughed it off to let the friend know his stupid comments were not turning me away from my guy. If you are uncomfortable tell this to your date and let him handle his friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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