jerrygordon3 Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 I'm sure I'm beating a dead horse here but I had this relationship for almost a year. It was a deeper connection than I can explain. It really took hold of me. She had this powerful sexual, feminine energy and strength about her. She was also a bit of a toxic person sometimes and most of my friends didn't like her. I've learned that when objective people don't like your partner its a big sign. I also stood up for myself when I left her because she was letting other men send her money who had a romantic history with her, during the war in Ukraine when we had left together. I don't penalize her too much for this however, she did use it against me which is when I ended things. She said I must be using her for a home and must not really love her because other men are sending her money and I'm not ( we had broken up but attempting to rekindle things at a distance). Just before I flew back to Ukraine to take on being the sole provider, reentering a war zone, and getting back with her she said that. At that point I was just thinking how inappropriate and unappreciative she was. I told her I was done for good this time and she said she was sorry and didn't mean it, however, I had made my choice to avoid someone who said stuff like that to me. That being said I truly loved her. She was one of the most intense loves I've had and I did want to be with her for the rest of my life. Lately I've been dreaming about her every night. I thought I had completely moved on and now I feel heartbreak and longing again. I know she did love me the way I loved her. She was prepared to marry me and it was evident. I just felt like she lacked the emotional responsibility to be what I needed her to be. Alas, I don't understand what might be causing this sudden loss to cut me again. I loved her, and I wonder if I made a mistake. I wonder if the things I had chosen to weigh on that gave me the means to leave her would have better been let go. I miss Ukraine, despite my friends and family not wanting me to go back. I feel like I'm wasting my life living in Bali. It's like paradise her, however I feel foreign here. Odesa, Ukraine was my home. And she was one of the things that made it so. I wonder would I not be happier back there. Or would it just be streets full of broken memories. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 4 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: I wonder if the things I had chosen to weigh on that gave me the means to leave her would have better been let go. Other men were funding her lifestyle while she was in a relationship with you. She is opportunistic, entitled, manipulative, immature, and emotionally abusive… No, you should not let these things go. You should run, not walk, away from this relationship. With kindness, you have got “love” really wrong… and you wouldn’t know a healthy relationship if it found you on the street! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2022 Share Posted October 10, 2022 She was amazing to you because that's her talent...fine tuned sexy feminine energy to manipulate men. Lots of woman have had to do this since the beginning of time in able to survive when they don't have the resources to live or they want a certain lifestyle. None of that has nothing to do with love. You and all those men sending her money are being played. She's a con artist. You did the right thing by getting yourself out of her clutches. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 10, 2022 Share Posted October 10, 2022 You sound lonely, a dysfunctional relationship or memories of it echoing in that pervasive and deep loneliness while you’re away from home. What keeps you motivated to stay in Bali? Why can’t you challenge yourself to new goals and move on from living there if it lacks what you need in a home? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2022 Share Posted October 10, 2022 Try not to confuse intensity with intimacy or trauma-bonding with a connection. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted October 13, 2022 Share Posted October 13, 2022 (edited) l'm so sorry for your country my friend, all of that alone must be so massive for you could only imagine the emotions and heartbreak you must be going through. l hope peace and victory come very very soon for your people and that one day soon if you still want to later you can return . But the gf , man, you know the answers l know and that even with the goods things are still not right with her and the person that she is. Good luck with everything. Edited October 13, 2022 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
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