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Does he like me?


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Hello! I've been out of the flirting/dating world for a very long time. I met someone last week on a work trip and had an instant attraction. We've been texting for a few days now. How do I know if he feels the same? Should I tell him that I'm attracted to him? I don't know what to do!

 

Here's a snippet of our conversation. Is he friendly - or flirting?? 

 

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I read the quoted text between the two of you and it sounds like friendly banter. I personally don’t see anything there. You seem to have a crush on him so I’m sure you feel differently.

Do you mind me asking what you see in this and how far apart you both live if there’s a distance? 

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On 10/11/2022 at 10:45 PM, ZZtopanga said:

. I met someone last week on a work trip and had an instant attraction. We've been texting for a few days now. 

Do you work together? Are either of you in other relationships?

If you work together it's best not to tell him you're attracted to him. This could cause issues at work. Also if you work together, he may not want messy office romances or gossip.

If you feel he's harassing you, stop any personal chitchatting.

It may be best, if you're single, to date outside of work environments.

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Thank you everyone for the input! I am newly single and was in a (not great) relationship for about 15 years, so I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to this type of thing! I decided to be very straightforward, and let him know that I think he is great, and I would love to hang out again next time I am in his town.  

Here was his response:   "Definitely hit me up when you are here! If I'm in and around the area then I'd love to hang out."

That sounds positive to me - so we will see! 

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13 hours ago, ZZtopanga said:

  Here was his response:   "Definitely hit me up when you are here! If I'm in and around the area then I'd love to hang out."

Is this a distance situation? Is it only at work conferences that you would see him? His response seems polite, but unfortunately that's all.

It may be best to pursue local dating opportunities where you can get to know someone by seeing each other on a regular basis.

"Hit me up when you're around and If I'm here....", Seems more like being polite or professional, but not more than that. He doesn't seem interested in dating.

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It sounds neutral and friendly. If what you’re looking for is someone to catch up with when you’re in town, there’s an option. It may or may not lead to something more. It’s possible he may not want to read into your message either and is keeping it neutral. 

I wouldn’t spend a lot of time thinking about this person if there’s a large distance. Why spend your time doing that when there are people you can meet in person locally several times a week? 

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Right before I asked him if he’d like to hang out, we were talking about how much he has to travel for his job, which is I think why he said “if I’m here…”

we do live far apart right now, but I’m actually moving closer to him in 6 months, so I figured it wasn’t the worst idea. And we don’t work at the same company and will very rarely come across each other in our professional lives. 

it sounds silly to say this out loud, but I just felt a connection that I haven’t before. He brought out the best in me- the entire time we were talking and hanging out. 

he even took a cute video of us reading a poem out loud together(we were trying to be funny) and he made several comments about how funny we were, and how we made a great video- he kept saying “we” over and over which I took to mean something. 

im sure it’s nothing. He will probably be busy when I’m there and I will never see him again. And now I’m embarrassed I even asked him 😩

you live you learn I guess

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It was very brave and good of you to ask. Not enough people have that courage and you should never ever put yourself down for that. You put yourself out there and got a positive response. He was friendly. Try not to talk yourself down. 

Since you’re relocating soon, be patient and get yourself settled. Be proud of your new home, explore the area and strike out on your own, meet up with any friends or coworkers in town. He is not the only reason or thing to look forward to. People are usually drawn to others with balanced social/work lives. Do you have places you want to see or things you want to do? Have your own agenda and plans. 

If someone special joins along or you make a new friend that’s great. It’s not the be all and end all either. You’re just out of a 15 year relationship. Pour some of that TLC back on you too, not all on someone else right away.

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On 10/18/2022 at 8:50 PM, ZZtopanga said:

 "Definitely hit me up when you are here! If I'm in and around the area then I'd love to hang out."

It doesn't sound like he's romantically interested in you. If he was he would make sure he was around for your visit to do things together.

'Hang out' means he clearly just sees you as friends.

If he was romantically interested then he would have said 'spend time with you'.

 

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On 10/19/2022 at 10:53 AM, glows said:

It sounds neutral and friendly.

I agree.  A man who was interested in you romantically wouldn't have put the "if I'm in and around the area" in his response.  He would have said "Sure I'd love to see you when do you think you'll be here again.  Let me know and we'll do something."  He would have said something to that affect to let you know he has a romantic interest in you.

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