Really annoyed Posted October 12, 2022 Share Posted October 12, 2022 My husband got dna results from a website (he is trying to establish who his grandfather is)A female third cousin was identified in his results who is also searching for her grandfather. My husband has struck up a ‘relationship’ with this single female and in the past 3 months he is constantly exchanging messages with her. I have complained that he is obsessed and after a row I counted the exchanged messages - 1425. Most of the messages are relating to searches for relatives but more recent ones detail him telling her about his friends, family, his day, him having covid etc with her replying with lots of ‘lols’ and even the odd kiss ‘x’. I’m getting really annoyed and think 1425 messages are excessive bordering on obsessive. Is it me, am I overreacting? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 13, 2022 Share Posted October 13, 2022 (edited) I’m not one to tell my partner who they can/can not talk to but this is really approaching that line. He should perhaps reconsider the boundary he has with this woman… Edited October 13, 2022 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 13, 2022 Share Posted October 13, 2022 How did he react to you when you brought this up? You mentioned having a row so you both disagreed and fought about it. I’d be more focused on the way he treats you and the way he responded to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 13, 2022 Share Posted October 13, 2022 What exactly is the concern here? Are you worried he's going to leave you for a third cousin? It IS a lot of messaging, but what about it is bothering you? If this is all destined to be platonic (as they're related) why not let them have their friendship until it runs its course? Do you believe it's possible it could become (or already is) non-platonic? If what you really want is for him to pay more attention to you and that's driving this, perhaps consider the "catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" approach? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 13, 2022 Share Posted October 13, 2022 ^^ btw, those were questions I'm hoping you'll post to answer, not rhetorical ones. Do you genuinely believe it's probable there's something non-platonic going on with them, despite them being related, and if so why/what's the evidence (beyond the volume of texts)? The answer makes all the difference in how this could/should be approached IMO. Although I know it happens, for myself personally, I'm never in a million years staying with a full grown adult who sleeps with a relative. The flip side is - if it's just them being friendly, then what's the harm. Link to post Share on other sites
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