A sister thing, l don't want her in my life, but ?

[chillii]

Hi one and all.

l'm 50s and live 3hrs away from most family, l've got my own life and relationships with people and especially women, women that l enjoy, click with, relate to , deeply respect and just plain get a long with and love being with, like my d , like my partner too of course, like a friend of mine. That's enough women l enjoy a drink with a mate and male company outside of that.

Well, one brother also lives 20 mins over and we've just caught up every wk or two for a beer and yack for yrs butttt. He's also been in a long distance thing with his lady 20 yrs they just go up and down to ea others place every wk or two but 5mths ago he moved down to hers temporarily to help out. This is part of the problem, getting to it.  Well he's decided to sell up here has new plans and he'll move away as soon as it's sold.  lm selling myself next yr but meantimeeee !                                                                                                                                                

Welllll,our sister moved up here too 3yrs ago, bought a place just up the road from him, jezuz, he shyt himself andddd she's been driving him mad too since- the other reason he's selling up. But, thanked the Gods she bought over near his 3yrs ago though let me tell ya and not mine but now that his been away 5mths and selling up she's been annoying the crap out of me. l rarely go over to hers when l'm over at his, that's our thing we're mates and brothers and very alike but she's never been able to work that out or that l have nothing in common with her nor even enjoy being around her, l put up with it if she pops up, cut it short and that's enough for me.

She's single has been most her life, 50s, so not only is she just a dippy personality but we have nothing in common she actually drives me nuts and she's just ridiculous to talk too, hence her singleness.Well before moving up here and even back when l use to live interstate she'd call me every few wks. l've always hated those calls l have beautiful relationships with the women in my life but her calls are just mad. Well about 6mths ago she called, l never answer her calls these days so l felt guilty and answered that one. Same old ridiculous crap l was in a mood and said look l'm not really interested in these calls anymore, happy to see you around but l don't wanna be calling anymore.

Since then she's still tried calling a few times l don't answer but since brother's been away if she's not calling she'll text me come over come over God almighty l feel like l'm being stalked. l have no interest in going over not for tea not for drinks not spending hrs over there nothing full stop. Yes she's single and lonely but so what she's 50s l have my own problems but my own life too and beautiful relationships with the women in it l've got no time or interest in a crazy sister.

l don't really wanna hurt her feelings again though that phone thing was hard but she drives me nuts so l don't really wanna give her another serve.Not answering for wks or even not replying to messages , does nothing, they keep coming although the calls have slowed right off thank the Gods,  never, is just fine with me.

Hth do l get her out of my life out of my phone out of inviting me every damn wk or whenever ?

She also drops into my place sometimes to and l feel like locking the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 15, 2022 by chillii

[basil67]

Hi chills, I have no advice, but I just wanted to acknowledge what a difficult situation this is for you

[chillii]

Hiya bas and yeah , thanks for that.

l mean l don't wanna hurt her feelings l know she's a bit lost atm. l just have my own world though and the women in it are very very special to me. l'm just not interested in the bs it is with her, full stop.

[mrs rubble]

I would be straight up with her and tell her that you can't tolerate her conversations, if she gets hurt, she'll likely back off anyway!!

This is what happened with my step daughter, she's full of drama....I called her out on it and she immediately unfriended me on FB. She refuses to talk to her father or me anymore, it's much more peaceful.

[chillii]

Yeah , tempting believe me.

l did with the phoning thing it slowed it down but she still tries, can't believe it. She's actually got a very good heart, kind and she's very loyal, very intelligent, very highly educated. She's got the most irritating personality though and this in your face way, l dunno. But yeah it might have to come to that.

Edited October 16, 2022 by chillii

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, chillii said:

 She's actually got a very good heart, kind and she's very loyal, very intelligent, very highly educated. She's got the most irritating personality though 

All you can do is be "very busy". It may help both of you to save face. Always be on your way out, on another call, expecting something or have something on the stove. Unfortunately it's sometimes the only way to handle sweet, lonely but annoying people who seem oblivious to social cues.

[chillii]

Yeah, l'd def' prefer a smoother way if poss although. She can fight like an alley cat normally but she's also very emotional and l know anything else from me would really upset her, don't wanna do that if l can help it.

Damn l just need her out of my face though, life actually.

 

[Grumpy Bob]

Honestly, I struggled to understand a lot of your post, but I think I got the gist of it...

You have a brother and sister, and have a close relationship with him, but not her.

But this is your sister?

I know that in our 50's, that trying to unwind decades of baggage can be difficult, but you need to try.
I'd spend more time trying to figure out why things got this way.

Maybe be honest with her, about whatever it is that you struggle with, and try to agree a strategy for rebuilding your relationship in a way that you can cope with.

[stillafool]

On 10/14/2022 at 10:41 PM, chillii said:

Hth do l get her out of my life out of my phone out of inviting me every damn wk or whenever ?

She also drops into my place sometimes to and l feel like locking the door.

Change your phone number and all of your contact info.  When she shows up at your house don't answer the door.  She'll get the message.

[chillii]

On 10/26/2022 at 5:49 PM, Grumpy Bob said:

Honestly, I struggled to understand a lot of your post, but I think I got the gist of it...

You have a brother and sister, and have a close relationship with him, but not her.

But this is your sister?

I know that in our 50's, that trying to unwind decades of baggage can be difficult, but you need to try.
I'd spend more time trying to figure out why things got this way.

Maybe be honest with her, about whatever it is that you struggle with, and try to agree a strategy for rebuilding your relationship in a way that you can cope with.

 

Sorry buddy, but l have beautiful relationships with the women in my life and a busy life too. Zero interest in wasting my time wondering or untangling my sisters head at this age and besides, l know her too well anyway.

As for struggling to understand, how on earth could you not understand a lonely v irritating relative moving near to me 3yrs ago that/s v hard to get rid of. The brother, when he moves, l will then be the only one left living near to her, the rest of the family are 3hrs away soooo no need to explain that new dynamic.

lt's pretty basic stuff man.

 

 

 

 

Edited December 1, 2022 by chillii

[Wiseman2]

I think the holidays dredges up a lot of longstanding family drama and sadly the holidays are becoming something people dread as a result.

[chillii]

Yeah true, a whole nother kettle of fish isn't it that one, some of the stories you hear from people, everything holidays are not meant to be. Must say though on that front thankfully, ours are really enjoyable usually.