Should I just block him or tell him honestly how I feel?

[poppyfields]

40 minutes ago, Msblueeyez said:

I guess probably yes he felt rejected by my answer but my answer was because I felt rejected by him. 

Wow, I had missed that comment asking him why do we have to book now? 

Thanks @Alpacaliafor bringing that to light.

Anyway, that comment along with him feeling he had made all the effort when you dated previously, he could very well have felt rejected, hurt and/or even pissed. 

That's why it's so important to hear both sides before giving opinion and advice although impossible to do since only one person is posting; I've mentioned previously on other threads. 

We have no idea how your words and actions may at have been interpreted by HIM and thus why he responded the way he did. 

So now, taking our advice, you've blocked him ceasing all attempts to further communicate.  

I don't know anymore, I truly don't.

 

Edited October 21, 2022 by poppyfields

[Msblueeyez]

13 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Wow, I had missed that comment asking him why do we have to book now? 

Thanks @Alpacaliafor bringing that to light.

Anyway, that comment along with him feeling he had made all the effort when you dated previously, he could very well have felt rejected, hurt and/or even pissed. 

That's why it's so important to hear both sides before giving opinion and advice although impossible to do since only one person is posting; I've mentioned previously on other threads. 

We have no idea how your words and actions may at have been interpreted by HIM and thus why he responded the way he did. 

So now you've blocked him.  

I don't know anymore, I truly don't.

 

To be honest all of this situation with him resumes to the fact we didn’t communicate clearly.

Before we meet he didn’t say how long he wants to stay with me that day, I didn’t know how long we were going to be together, and both of us were beating around the bush so to speak.

I am used to men who are very clear, who plan dates, who ask if I am free on a certain day, who make their intentions clear and ask about mine. 

He is not like that, he is very closed off and doesn’t speak clearly, that doesn’t make me feel safe, and so I don’t know how to deal with it and just feel rejected.

Edited October 21, 2022 by Msblueeyez

[poppyfields]

I totally get it @Msblueeyez.

My expectations were same as yours many moons ago.

Back then, I was used to men chasing me.  Essentially making all the effort.  And I mean ALL.

My job was to accept invites and respond but rarely, if ever, did I initiate. 

I admit to being quite entitled in those days, I was conditioned to be by virtue of men chasing me and doing all the "work."

I was fixed up on a blind date with a great guy who for awhile did make all the effort, did all the initiating.

We had tons of fun and LOTS of mutual chemistry.

Then suddenly he ghosted me.

I never reached out to him either to find out what was happening or even just to say HI!

Lord I cringe when I recall how utterly entitled I was back then, not proud to admit. 

Anyway my friends were all like HE'S a jerk for ghosting etc etc etc

Later after talking to the friend who fixed us up, as it turned out, HE felt rejected by ME because I never initiated or even reciprocated.

He felt used as a result. It's funny, until the friend pointed it out, this never even occurred to me.

I assumed he lost interest and ghosted.

I did run into him around a year later and he admitted him ghosting was a sort of test to see if I would step up and initiate. 

In his words "to get the skinny on what had happened, why he disappeared."

Which I never did, I just let it go. 

It was a big lesson learned for me because I really did like him.  

Anyway, I'm not so entitled anymore and believe dating is a balance and equal effort.  

Not always in the same way, but we're both initiating and reciprocating.

FWIW.

 

Edited October 21, 2022 by poppyfields

[Msblueeyez]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

I totally get it @Msblueeyez.

My expectations were same as yours many moons ago.

Back then, I was used to men chasing me.  Essentially making all the effort.  And I mean ALL.

My job was to accept invites and respond but rarely, if ever, did I initiate. 

I admit to being quite entitled in those days, I was conditioned to be by virtue of men chasing me and doing all the "work."

I was fixed up on a blind date with a great guy who for awhile did make all the effort, did all the initiating.

We had tons of fun and LOTS of mutual chemistry.

Then suddenly he ghosted me.

I never reached out to him either to find out what was happening or even just to say HI!

Lord I cringe when I recall how utterly entitled I was back then, not proud to admit. 

Anyway my friends were all like HE'S a jerk for ghosting etc etc etc

Later after talking to the friend who fixed us up, as it turned out, HE felt rejected by ME because I never initiated or even reciprocated.

He felt used as a result. It's funny, until the friend pointed it out, this never even occurred to me.

I assumed he lost interest and ghosted.

I did run into him around a year later and he admitted him ghosting was a sort of test to see if I would step up and initiate. 

In his words "to get the skinny on what had happened, why he disappeared."

Which I never did, I just let it go. 

It was a big lesson learned for me because I really did like him.  

Anyway, I'm not so entitled anymore and believe dating is a balance and equal effort.  

Not always in the same way, but we're both initiating and reciprocating.

FWIW.

 

Thanks for sharing. When we got involved before the reason why I was leaning back wasn’t because I feel entitled, but because he said he didn’t feel ready for a relationship as he walked out of a relationship not long ago.

So I was leaning back as a form of protecting myself, trying to pace our communication and not seeing each other often otherwise I would get attached to him. 

I never said this to him though, so maybe he thought I was being indifferent. But it wasn’t definitely because of entitlement. 

But anyway now I was trying to do different and show interest and availability and he did what he did. I think we’re just not meant to be if things are this difficult.