pooh23350 Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 Ok here is my story.The guy I am dating now and have been for almost 4 months now used to date my bestfriend.Me and mybestfriend have been friends for over 11 years now.She dated the guy I am now for awhile.She is still very close with him and I am very jealose over that.I think it is because they used to date.When ever he brings up her name I just want to scream but I keep all my feelings locked up inside.And in a way I think she still has feelings for him because everytime I mention somthing to her that me and him did together she almost all the time has to bring up his and her past and what they used to do together.It really hurts because she is mybestfriend and I am not supposed to be jealouse over her.She is the one who hooked us up and now that she did I think she regrets it in away.I can't ask her though because I do not want her knowing I am jealouse over her or anything like that.My guy already knows I do not want him alone with her for anything because she already betryed me once and I forgave her for it.Back in 98 or 99,cant remember exactly wich year.She ended up sleeping with my husband behind my back.Which me and him were legally seperated but I was still completly still in love with the guy and did want him back.I did forgiveher after about a year or so.But now a days even though she is my bestfriend I still dont have that complete trust with her and the guys I date.But with this new guy/her ex,I am afraid she is gonna try the same thing with him.He told me it will not work because he only wants me and has never cheated.But I still get overly jealouse and causious when she comes around or even calls him when she justs wants to say hi or see what has been up with him or what ever.Do you all think I am wrong for this or do you think I have the right to be jealouse?Any advice will be greatly appriciated.Thanks for taking the time to read this post. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 I don't know what to tell you except that I would feel the same. Basically you should relax and trust him. Talk to him about it (if you haven't alread). If he assures you that he is definitely not interested in her but only in you then don't panick. We worry too much about things that haven't happened and may never happen (remind me about this when I feel the same! ). I don't see why she would be calling him just to say "hi" if she hasn't done it before. If I were you I would avoid her presence when I am with the BF. Don't confide in her about your relationship with him. If she asks anything, just tell her that everything is great in that area. She does act like someone you can't trust. I remember once I was physically attracted to my best friend's BF and I was even avoiding to look straight in his eyes. I felt guilty when I had a conversation with him, because it might make her jealous. Once he asked me to dance with him and I refused, because of respect towards her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pooh23350 Posted October 28, 2005 Author Share Posted October 28, 2005 thanks for the advice.I feel really bad because she is my bestfriend and I can not completley trust her.She is the one person I am supposted to be able to trust with everything in me but I can't.Ever since that one incident I can not have complete trust in her anymore.She does not know it but it is true.I do not want to tell her because I do not want to loose her as a friend.She did used to call him all the time before me and him got together.She says he is her best guy friend.But I honestly think if she thought it could go further she would take it to that point.Even though they have been broke up for a long while I think she still has feelings for him but she just is not saying anything about it.Thanks again for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 As harsh as this may seem: I'd get rid of that "best friend". I would have already done so after she slept with ex-husband. No real friend does that. If she's done it before, there are too many risks of her doing it again. It sucks that your current boyfriend is still friends with her. You may never have a peaceful mind about this relationship, I'm afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
dnm1010 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 no offense to those girls who wouldnt backstab their best friend for a guy... from what ive experienced girls would backstab their best friend. its sad to say but the bottom line is whoever gets to marry the guy is the one with the family and a lot of people once theyre married dont have that much time for friends anyway so people look out for themselves. if you are not like this then please dont take offence. Link to post Share on other sites
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