Lotsgoingon Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 You never said anything about her sleeping with him, but that's the point of the entire post--that this "skanky" woman could lure your bf into something (and that your bf can't be trusted). If that's not the point, then there's no issue here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HazelBliss Posted October 22, 2022 Author Share Posted October 22, 2022 11 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: You never said anything about her sleeping with him, but that's the point of the entire post--that this "skanky" woman could lure your bf into something (and that your bf can't be trusted). If that's not the point, then there's no issue here. soooooo sleeping with someone is the ONLY form of disrespect? LOL OK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HazelBliss Posted October 22, 2022 Author Share Posted October 22, 2022 3 hours ago, basil67 said: If he's at all professional, he would know to not discuss his clients with you. Or he'd behave in a professional manner.. and he does. His clients blab about everything to him.. he doesnt tell me their conversation but I know he does his job.. he would for sure tell me if someone behaved inappropriately IF I ASKED.. and he has. He doesnt volunteer information... he trains a lot of celebs and hes very professional. He's not the problem here. Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) Well then, @HazelBliss- You obviously have made your decision. So I don’t understand what your question is, if there is actually a question. Is it weird that an associate or a friend wants your boyfriend to provide services to her if he is in a particular business that she needs help with? No - it’s absolutely not weird. I want to say this, though: If you have a problem with that, based on your past experience with BFs & your female friends, then that’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t mean that that’s the norm. Edited October 22, 2022 by BrinnM Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) See my previous post, but still confused how him providing his services is disrespectful to you. Perhaps if you clarified, it might provide a better understanding? I read your last post how you hate conflict and drama and this is true for most people. Maybe it's me, but still not making the connection to that being disrespectful If I referred my friend or associate to my husband's business, I trust my husband would behave with respect and integrity and if my friend began saying or doing anything that reflected negatively upon me, he would politely shut that down and/or ask her to leave. Clearly you don't trust your boyfriend to do same, is that the issue? Edited October 22, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
Author HazelBliss Posted October 22, 2022 Author Share Posted October 22, 2022 4 minutes ago, BrinnM said: Well then, @HazelBliss- You obviously have made your decision. So I don’t understand what your question is, if there is actually a question. Is it weird that an associate or a friend wants your boyfriend to provide services to her if he is in a particular business that she needs help with? No - it’s absolutely not weird. I want to say this, though: If you have a problem with tha, based on your past experience with BFs & your female friends, then that’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t mean that that’s the norm. To me its weird when when she is already a part of a gym that provides those services. He doesnt even practice anywhere near her. she didnt even ask. Just because he previously had a particular job I cant say on here and now does that. She can find her own. Well.. I wanted to see the different perspectives and also give mine Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: he would politely shut that down and/or ask her to leave. Yea, totally - And I would be more worried about him providing proper services that actually meet her demands rather than being worried about her hitting on him or something…. So all in all, I’d be more worried about his business than about being disrespected in a scenario of that type. Wouldn’t even cross my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 2 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: To me its weird when when she is already a part of a gym that provides those services. He doesnt even practice anywhere near her. she didnt even ask. I don’t get it. Are you insinuating that she wants to spite you in some way? …. maybe he provides a certain workout that she can’t get anywhere else. I mean obviously I’m just spitballing here but I don’t know why you would get so bent out of shape about this. Let her book classes with him - who cares. You’ll see what’s gonna happen. (Probably nothing) And in the meantime, he can make some money. Win-win 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 OP, this situation reads like you have something to hide that you don't want your new boyfriend to know about and you're afraid your "friend/associate" may spill the beans or something. I mean your posts convey a lot of emotion, like you're almost panicked about it. Is that it? Again, I'm completely confused as to what exactly the issue is so tossing stuff out hoping something will stick and make sense. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HazelBliss Posted October 22, 2022 Author Share Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) 28 minutes ago, poppyfields said: See my previous post, but still confused how him providing his services is disrespectful to you. Perhaps if you clarified, it might provide a better understanding? I read your last post how you hate conflict and drama and this is true for most people. Maybe it's me, but still not making the connection to that being disrespectful If I referred my friend or associate to my husband's business, I trust my husband would behave with respect and integrity and if my friend began saying or doing anything that reflected negatively upon me, he would politely shut that down and/or ask her to leave. Clearly you don't trust your boyfriend to do same, is that the issue? Okay, so from what I know about her.. she is desperately seeking a man... she is a "pickme" type of woman.. shes slept with her friends crushes..she uses her body, breasts especially to attract men hence why she cant meet a decent man who likes her for her.. I'm cordial with her as we worked together but not friendly enough to refer her to my mans business SORRY. So I shouldn't even be calling her my friend.. I didnt feel like explaining all of that. In the past ive had co workers leave work and find a man I was dating on my FB page, that man called me and asked if I knew her and was confused asking if I was trying to hook them up or something.. sent me the screen shots.. of course I confronted her and removed her from my social media. But that was a lesson for me alone not to trust co workers. I've already had to get rid of a friend here.. so I dont trust these women and dont feel like fighting or hearing about some bs.. I just want to enjoy my man in peace without someone I know trying to backstab me. Edited October 22, 2022 by HazelBliss Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 You asked a question in your initial post, and you got several answers but apparently you’re the jealous type so you’ve already made up your own mind without considering all the input that was given here. The way you’re referring to your BF as “my man” reminds me of somebody who’s a little bit obsessive/possessive (sorry!), and I’m getting the general impression that even if there wasn’t a “skanky” associate/friend involved, there would be countless other clients of his that would bother the shyte out if you at some point in the very near future. So please keep us posted! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) 31 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: Okay, so from what I know about her.. she is desperately seeking a man... she is a "pickme" type of woman.. shes slept with her friends crushes..she uses her body, breasts especially to attract men hence why she cant meet a decent man who likes her for her.. I'm cordial with her as we worked together but not friendly enough to refer her to my mans business SORRY. So I shouldn't even be calling her my friend.. I didnt feel like explaining all of that. In the past ive had co workers leave work and find a man I was dating on my FB page, that man called me and asked if I knew her and was confused asking if I was trying to hook them up or something.. sent me the screen shots.. of course I confronted her and removed her from my social media. I've already had to get rid of a friend here.. so I dont trust these women and dont feel like fighting or hearing about some bs.. I just want to enjoy my man in peace without someone I know trying to backstab me. OK, thanks this makes a bit more sense. I think the confusion was because you referred to this person as a "friend," and clearly any woman who would intentionally backstab you to your boyfriend is NOT a friend. So to answer your original question, while I trust my husband, no I would probably not feel comfortable with them doing business together although at the end of day it would be HIS choice. And if they were to do business together, again I trust my husband would behave with integrity and respect if she ever did attempt to backstab me or speak negatively about me. I have no control over who my husband's clients are, hell a person could walk in off the street and proceed to backstab me if she/he knew me and had an agenda. No sense in getting worked up over it. Trust your boyfriend and forget about other women "backstabbing" you or anything else is my advice. Put it out of your mind and simply enjoy your new blossoming relationship. Focus on the two of you, not his female clients no matter how skanky they are. That's his job and again trust he will do the right thing. That's all you can do, good luck. Edited October 22, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 1 hour ago, HazelBliss said: Or he'd behave in a professional manner.. and he does. His clients blab about everything to him.. he doesnt tell me their conversation but I know he does his job.. he would for sure tell me if someone behaved inappropriately IF I ASKED.. and he has. He doesnt volunteer information... he trains a lot of celebs and hes very professional. He's not the problem here. Not "or". It's both. He would behave professionally in the gym, but also be professional in not discussing his clients with you. Just like how one would expect their hairdresser to not bring home stories of what gets said in the salon, especially if they are naming the person who said or did whatever. Anyway, did you give this coworker your boyfriend's contact details? Because if you didn't, there's nothing to worry about Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) If he's a "celebrity trainer" that's probably why she wanted to hire him. You're making it way more complicated than it needs to be. Just tell her to find another trainer. Done. Seems you have quite a few not so pleasant experiences with female friends and backstabbers in your professional and personal life. Maybe that's the core issue here and it's stirring up some stuff for you? Edited October 22, 2022 by Alpacalia 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 Ask him for a list of his colleagues and give it to her. This way you're not upset by her possible motives and your BF is not stuck in the position of having to deal with your friend as a client. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 On 10/20/2022 at 11:25 PM, HazelBliss said: My best friend asked me to inquire about his other business.. I have no problem with that but Im just like geez everybody wants his help.. mind you.. havent met him yet..let me solidify my relationship first.. I guess I am weird and selfish but hey.. 11 hours ago, HazelBliss said: I'm cordial with her as we worked together but not friendly enough to refer her to my mans business SORRY. So I shouldn't even be calling her my friend.. Color me confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) On 10/21/2022 at 8:19 AM, HazelBliss said: Would you feel comfortable with your female friend being trained by your boyfriend/husband? Scenario: You trust your man but you have a friend who is on the skanky side and is requesting a session with him. Is it more about his actions or the respect from your friend or both? That's akin to like a work conflict of interest scenario. I don't like the sound of this at all. It opens an opportunity up for them to get intimate. Not a good idea and a friend I'd be very suspicious with. If it was me I'd distance myself from your friend. Edited October 22, 2022 by Goodguy05 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 Just tell her you don't get involved with his business and so you don't make referrals for anyone (whether that is necessarily true or not). If she's simply a work acquaintance, you don't owe her more of a response than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) Agree with @FMW. Also, it might make sense to defer inquiries regarding your boyfriend's celebrity profession. Sharing those details may generate interest from others looking to hire a personal trainer because it implies he is a successful and sought after fitness trainer. Which you've expressed that you are not comfortable with. Edited October 22, 2022 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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