Origin Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 Hi, I’ll try and keep this short. I have text message and other evidence that show her “friend” was more than a friend. I don’t have anything concrete. However, everything is pointing to the worst and at this point the trust is 100% gone. If the person keeps insisting they were “only friends”, even though that can be disputed, can there even be a reconciliation? I realize how incredibly stupid that sounds as I wrote it, but I just need someone to tell it to me as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 There cannot be serious reconciliation if there is no trust and honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
heartwhole2 Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 You can't build or rebuild anything on a foundation of lies. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 To your specific situation, since you know about the affair, if she won't "come clean" then you will continually feel she is continuing to deceive/betray you. Few people are comfortable with a partner they don't trust. I would suggest you assume only what you know from the texts and ask that she confess specifically to that, as once trust is broken it's possible to imagine all sorts of scenarios that didn't actually happen, and unless trusted others were in the room with her it's not actually possible to PROVE that she didn't cheat at any specific place/time. The answer to the general question you put in the post title is a different matter. If the partner is unaware of an affair/cheating that ended and is happy in the relationship/marriage, there may be little to "reconcile". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 3 hours ago, Origin said: I’ll try and keep this short. I have text message and other evidence that show her “friend” was more than a friend. I don’t have anything concrete. If this is the woman who meets up with 'friends" to do drugs, there's no reason to keep trying to make this work. The more you keep forgivng/forgettong the more she'll keep at it. Stop and reflect what she brings to your life and relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 Anything is possible. Each of you is an individual, so what will you and she accept is what is possible. You say the text are highly suggestive. Well, what does that mean? You also have "other evidence that show her “friend” was more than a friend." Again what? From what you are saying it does, or could lead to a assumption that she cheated, but it is not iron clad. OK, in order to judge, does she lie about other things? Her past, Money, so fourth and so on. You may never know. So decide what you are willing to accept. Myself, as my wife would never realy cop to anything, and I had no real evidence, I put odds on her cheating. I did keep the idea open she had not, but came close to. Right now, I believe she did not physically cheat, but came close. On that, I work with her to rebuild trust. You may never get a black and white answir. I think most cheating is like that. Ether you do not get the full story, or there is not enough to really know. My two cents Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 I wouldn’t stay in a relationship with another who lies to me and whom I do not trust. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts