Why am I so attracted to THIS stranger?

[fireelement]

hello. i work in a gym and there's a regular user who comes in daily. we're total strangers, we've never talked, had no eye contact and stuff; he does his stuff, i do mine but... i am extremely attracted to him. i've been trying to figure out why and how; the science of it, but i know that i do like tall men and he's tall, got a unique hairstyle (no one has his hairstyle in that gym) and quite built. i must say that there are other users there who are more handsome and built than he is but somehow, this guy's just got me going head over heels for him, it's exhausting... and i don't know why. Plus i think maybe my brain is tricking me into feeling that probably he's also attracted to me.

i can't explain how i feel or how it is but whenever he comes, sure i feel my own attraction towards him go crazy but despite the total no talking and no eye contact ever, i kind of feel something from him too; like there's a tension/thing between us. when he works out alone, i feel his "aura" more than when he works out with his friends. feels like he would "hide" a bit of what he's feeling around his friends. this one is rare but once in a while i would catch him taking super quick glances at me (i try to glance at him too) and by the time i look at him, he already looked away or is at the point of looking away. and sometimes his body (front side), when he sits or exercises, would face me (or he could just be facing in my direction but not me). he would walk in front of my counter quite a few times (there was a time i was outside the gym and my body faced the locker and he just walked right to where i was facing; yeah he was putting something in the locker). when he's with his friends, he seems jumpier especially when he's near me; he does these cute skips, hops, tiny runs? sometimes i feel he would try to lessen the gap between us by walking in front of my counter a lot, or exercising at the nearest spot beside my counter, and placing and taking equipment from there.

could it be he knows i'm attracted to him? i'm afraid i may have given off my signals without me realising or can he feel the attraction and is he trying to make me not like him? is it his pheromones making me so attracted to him, because i just don't look at the other guys (they're hot but why this one?) gosh this is killing me. haha i just want to know what he's doing, i mean it would be nice to know if he's also attracted to me too. but sad to say, i don't suppose i'm his type, we're like out of each other's league.

[NuevoYorko]

Whew, girl, for a person who has never even had eye contact with this guy you sure are well informed about all kinds of minute nuances of his body position, etc.  Your descriptions of him positioning himself directly before you and doing his exercises along with skipping and jumping by you sound quite awkward;  everyone in the gym would be noticing.  

When I first started reading your post, I thought that I may have experienced something similar; when someone shows up with such undeniable chemistry that it's noticeable for both people even if they aren't interacting.  But then when I got to all the body positioning and exercising beside your counter interspersed with "tiny runs" and maybe trying to make you NOT like him ... I have come to decide that this is all a product of your active imagination.  

[glows]

Do you have an active social life or other things going on besides work?

How long have you been working at this particular gym? Did you start recently?  I’d let it fade and don’t make any awkward passes or cause anyone to feel uncomfortable. It sounds like a crush but based on a lot of fantasy or overthinking on your end. There’s nothing to suggest there’s any real interest to know you on his part.

Meet people and join some clubs or organizations, attend other events outside of work. 

You asked why you’re attracted to him. It may be some of what you say - thinking he’s being flirty looking back at you. He may also be uneasy and wondering why you’re staring in his direction.

Where do you see this job going? Do you see yourself pursuing this as a career working in a gym or moving onto something else in the near future? I ask these questions to hear where you see yourself going. Often these types of interactions/thoughts fade when we have a bigger goal or interest in mind.

[basil67]

What you are describing is a lustful crush.  They feel amazing, but it's all pretty normal.   

I'd want to suggest you smile if you see him looking towards you, but it doesn't seem like he's going out of his way to catch your eye. 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, fireelement said:

Gosh this is killing me. 

Being attracted to attractive people happens all day every day. That's ok. However you seem smitten like a crush. That's ok too.

Make sure you have a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men. 

Join some other clubs and groups so you can get more comfortable socializing with all sorts of men. Gyms are not an ideal place to pursue anyone.