Zing24 Posted October 26, 2022 Share Posted October 26, 2022 I come from a lot of sexual abuse in my childhood. My first real highschool bf was pretty decent. I think he was chatting on me at the end but he was a freshman in college at that point. I married young and had kids young. My husband cheated throughout the whole 9 year relationship. I had one lovely boyfriend but it didn't work out and broke my heart. I'm married now, but he lies and cheated online. Obviously one would think it has to be me right? I pick poorly or I'm lacking something. Why does every relationship fail. I don't want to be divorced again. This relationship makes me really unhappy though. I keep laughing it off saying I'd rather be alone, but tbh the loneliness I already feel has become intolerable at times. I just want to feel safe and loved. I know it exists. I'm actually a decent person and great wife. I'm so disappointed in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 26, 2022 Share Posted October 26, 2022 While I don't advise people to divorce (as a matter of principle), it's also true that a) you can't really start the next stage of your life (if that's what you want to do) without ending the current one, and b) not every marriage should be saved. If you're certain your husband lies and cheats, but you can't bring yourself to leave, you could consider "formalizing" an open marriage with him. It may not make the marriage better, but it might (or might not) make you a bit happier, at least temporarily. I would note that this "solution" (if you're able to do it) probably makes it easier for you to tolerate your bad marriage, and so may make it more likely for you to stay in it rather than leaving. A more "positive" solution would be to try to communicate more and get him to show love and/or respect your boundaries. However, you make it sound like you feel there's little hope for that type of approach. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 26, 2022 Share Posted October 26, 2022 5 hours ago, Zing24 said: I married young and had kids young. My husband cheated throughout the whole 9 year relationship. I don't want to be divorced again. This relationship makes me really unhappy though. Sorry this is happening. It's better to divorce again than be this unhappy. Do you work? How old are the children? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zing24 Posted October 26, 2022 Author Share Posted October 26, 2022 I've openly communicated for almost 3 years how the relationship is failing. What I'd like and how to fix it. I tried an open relationship with my previous husband. Our relationship just ended. Not for other people but just because I realized how messed up our relationship was. I don't want to be divorced a second time but I just don't think there's anything else I can do. I've lost all respect for him. Who knows if he's cheating in some way at the moment. He recently hid him smoking again. Which isn't the end of the world but I caught him multiple times now and it was on the tail end of him being in an inappropriate discord chatroom Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zing24 Posted October 26, 2022 Author Share Posted October 26, 2022 Yes I do work. Three children. 2 from the previous marriage that are teens and one with him 3yo. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 3, 2022 Share Posted November 3, 2022 On 10/26/2022 at 4:16 PM, Zing24 said: Yes I do work. Three children. 2 from the previous marriage that are teens and one with him 3yo. All you can do is get some legal advice on what a divorce would entail. You may feel relieved that it's a viable and better option for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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