I went through a bad relationship

[coreym]

A few months ago I fell in love with a girl that was from the Dominican republic, she can barely speak English and the only way we kept in contact was by texting each other and I would have to translate it, when dated and she started asking me for large amounts of money, thousands! I gave as much as I could, she never appreciate anything I did when she was sick I was bought her medicine I took care of her I give her everything she wanted, she never appreciated me and she showed no effort so I left her, now it's been 2 months since then and I miss her and I regret leaving her because I really don't have anyone, I want to go back to her but yet I don't, what should I do?

[basil67]

She sounds like a scammer.  How did you meet her?

[coreym]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

She sounds like a scammer.  How did you meet her?

I met her at the hotel that I was working in, I was doing maintenance there and shes one of the room attendants

[basil67]

I thought she might have slid into your DMs or something.  But since it was face to face, I'd assume she does this to many men who she meets.  Asking you for thousands of dollars is not normal. 

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, coreym said:

 and she started asking me for large amounts of money, thousands! 

Sorry this happened. Unfortunately she seems like a scammer, so although you miss the idea of a relationship, in reality you dodged a bullet.

Delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps.

In the future date women who you can communicate with clearly, see on a regular basis and don't give anyone money.

[glows]

Not only are you out the cash, she left and didn’t seem interested. Why chase after people like this. Hold your horses, stay calm and think for a second.

11 hours ago, coreym said:

because I really don't have anyone

If you’re feeling very lonely and down, pause and think about all the things you do have. Practice some gratitude. Be good to the people around you and see what’s happening in your community. Be involved, volunteer, make something useful of yourself. Give but in places and spaces that matter. Make a difference in someone’s life in a legitimate sense. 

Try to realize you’re coming from a place of loneliness first and work on this. Be more balanced in your life before bringing someone else in or you’ll find yourself in situations like this one.

Edited October 27, 2022 by glows

[salparadise]

16 hours ago, coreym said:

and she started asking me for large amounts of money, thousands! I gave as much as I could, she never appreciate anything

Did you give her money? How much? 

Her asking for money should've told you all you need to know. Don't fall for a con.

[mark clemson]

16 hours ago, coreym said:

 I want to go back to her but yet I don't, what should I do?

IMO you should realize you've developed strong feelings for someone who is very much the wrong person for you (and possibly for anyone in her case). This happens all the time, unfortunately, and scammers and abusers tend to be well aware.

She seems to be deliberately exploiting you/your loneliness, and it's quite possible that has been the plan all along. Stick to your guns and walk away from this would be my advice. Continuing is only going to lead to further exploitation of you.

Edited October 27, 2022 by mark clemson

[coreym]

1 hour ago, salparadise said:

Did you give her money? How much? 

Her asking for money should've told you all you need to know. Don't fall for a con.

I gave her over 2,500, and she makes more money than I do. And if I didn't give it to her she would get angry

[glows]

33 minutes ago, coreym said:

 And if I didn't give it to her she would get angry

This would be a red flag, OP. Time to let this go. Seek counselling or therapy to get to the root of why you’re seeking these types of partners/interaction. 

Edited October 27, 2022 by glows

[Wiseman2]

37 minutes ago, coreym said:

I gave her over 2,500, and she makes more money than I do. And if I didn't give it to her she would get angry

Go to the police. Give them all the details. Even though you gave it voluntarily, it almost seems like extortion or some other financial manipulation, like romance scams. She's a scammer.

[salparadise]

3 hours ago, coreym said:

I gave her over 2,500, and she makes more money than I do. And if I didn't give it to her she would get angry

I'm very sorry to hear this. You do realize at this point that she only wanted your money and doesn't care about you, right? She's a hard, cold woman, and you're a soft-touch. You have to stay away from her, far away. It wasn't real. I'm sure this is hard for you, but you have to open your eyes and take care of yourself. You should be angry, not thinking about going back. I do hope you will get counseling.

[coreym]

2 hours ago, salparadise said:

I'm very sorry to hear this. You do realize at this point that she only wanted your money and doesn't care about you, right? She's a hard, cold woman, and you're a soft-touch. You have to stay away from her, far away. It wasn't real. I'm sure this is hard for you, but you have to open your eyes and take care of yourself. You should be angry, not thinking about going back. I do hope you will get counseling.

Thank you, when I first left her I was confident and I was happy but now I'm so alone and miserable that I miss her because at first she would let me kiss her and hold her but then at times she would turn her face away when I try to kiss her and she just had a bad attitude at times and was very hurtful, but I stayed with her because I was happy I had someone that was beautiful and somebody who came to me first, it's very rare that the girl comes first.. but things were getting bumpy, she just kept asking me for money and material things and I was doing so much for her and making so much effort and she didn't appreciate anything I did, I just felt used. I know I'll never find anyone else and it's so difficult to find the right person I was lucky I had her and I should have kept her but I couldn't take the abuse anymore it was depressing me and making me sick to my stomach, I know I made the right decision by leaving but I see so many happy couples together and I just look at myself so alone, I just don't know what to do. 

Edited October 28, 2022 by coreym

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, coreym said:

I know I'll never find anyone else and it's so difficult to find the right person I was lucky I had her

No, you were not. You were actually very unlucky to have met her. 

This woman was just after money. She picked on you because she could sense your loneliness and lack of boundaries, unfortunately. This is not a woman who liked you for you, and certainly not someone you ever had a real future with. 

How do you usually meet women? 

[coreym]

3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

No, you were not. You were actually very unlucky to have met her. 

This woman was just after money. She picked on you because she could sense your loneliness and lack of boundaries, unfortunately. This is not a woman who liked you for you, and certainly not someone you ever had a real future with. 

How do you usually meet women? 

Usually, just by being outside and just being around but I seem to attract the wrong ones, I'm an engineer and I fix and repair machinery and I was working for a hotel and she is one of the room attendants there and most of the room attendants don't speak English a lot of them are from Haiti and from the Dominican Republic, she actually came to me which is very rare because women usually don't come to me ever, I'm kind of shy at first so that might be it..

[glows]

Your self-esteem is very low. I suggest doing more outside your comfort zone and joining some clubs and organizations. Be more involved or work on a support system.

People like this woman prey on lonely people as they’re easy targets. I’m sure it was flattering when she approached you and that had your guard down. She was using you for money. Steer clear in future.