I'm being bullied at work by a clique of women headed up by the department manager? What would you do?

[Wearyone]

A month ago I started a job as a beauty advisor at a department store. I was working in libraries before that but I have a passion for makeup and am artistic so thought it could be a good career move. 

The atmosphere at this place is insanely toxic though. The department manager called me into her office on day five of the job and asked me if I thought I was the "right fit" for the role. Basically because I told her I wanted to have my lunch break before 2pm due to not eating at regular times triggering my migraines. I was tired and irritated and told her it sounded like she wanted to push me out of my job and I didn't appreciate it. 

Ever since then she's had it in for me. She has a clique of women in the department and I can tell she's told them I'm a problem and to "monitor" me. They watch my break times and report back to her if I'm a few minutes late returning from lunch. One of them is openly rude to me quite often. 

The other two give me these pitying looks that are more patronizing then the rude one. If I make a mistake they will explain it to me, but really impatiently and like it's a huge inconvenience to them personally. 

They also do the whispering and laughing in a group thing. The other day I'm pretty sure I heard one of them say something insulting about my appearance. 

The manager of my department is the main source of this crusade to get me to quit so going to her would be pointless. I feel like I'm back in an all girls high school and I'm a 30 year old woman. I really don't have time for this crap. I've met some really cool people at this job but the clique in the beauty department are genuinely awful to be around. On a day most of them were absent the atmosphere was completely different, 100% less toxic and stressful. 

If you were me would you stick it out or try to find a different job? Address it head on or ignore it? It's stressing me out on my weekends and taking up more space in my life then I want a job to be able to take up. I was interested in eventually heading up a beauty counter, but there's no way I'm willing to spend years putting up with this crap on the off chance the manager,  who clearly dislikes me might see my potential as a makeup artist. 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Wearyone said:

If you were me would you stick it out or try to find a different job? 

Yes get your CV updated and start looking for positions . It not worth dreading going to work, is it?

[basil67]

Sorry you're in such a difficult situation.   

Working in a department store, your lunchtimes would be the most busy time.  Are all the staff asked to have their breaks outside of the lunchtime rush, or have they singled you out for this?    Do you get a morning tea break where you could quickly eat a sandwich?

With regards to the others reporting you if you're a couple of minutes late back from lunch, the solution is simple: Don't be late. 

However, none of this addresses the others being unkind to you.  I'd start looking for another job

[glows]

The dept manager is just another middle man though and the extent of her authority lies in scheduling and running this department. This is what she does for a living. She’s not paid to see the talent in you. I have feeling you joined the department hoping someone would support you in your career. In the retail industry you’re only a body and I dislike that term as well. Find something else that suits your career goals.

Did you go back to school as an esthetician? What gives you the backing to be called a beauty advisor? Try reputable salons/spas in your area if you have the education and knowledge. When you walk into work you’ll want to feel motivated, driven, focused. Walk into a local salon and speak with the estheticians, find out what they did to get to the place they’re working at if you like the feel of these places. 

Stay motivated and reach a little higher. I wouldn’t lose sight of this goal if you want to continue.

Edited November 6, 2022 by glows

[Weezy1973]

Yes, look for another job.
 

Also, if you have special requirements like needing to eat lunch at certain times, make sure that fits with the job you’re applying for. Some places have flexible lunches and others don’t. Retail and customer service is going to be more strict, and new people tend to get the worse lunch times. Lastly, I when I was in middle management I was keenly aware of new hires. This was usually going to be folks on their best behavior, putting in the most effort as they try to impress their new employer. Being casual about being on time when coming back from breaks was not a good look and didn’t bode well in terms of how that employee was moving forward. As people get more comfortable in their job they tend to get a bit more lax about these things. If they’re already late a lot right at the beginning, pretty much always meant they were going to have issues as time went on. 

[Eternal Sunshine]

In your position, I would find a way to eat something while going to the toilet or similar. When you are new, it's best not to make special requests unless you have absolutely no other option.

Quote

I was tired and irritated and told her it sounded like she wanted to push me out of my job and I didn't appreciate it. 

This is something you vent about to your friends or partner, not say directly. At work you should try to present yourself as calm, pleasant and helpful at all times, especially when new. As you prove yourself later on, you can give yourself a bit more leeway (we are all human) but even then - confrontations like this one will permanently damage relationships. 

[stillafool]

On 11/5/2022 at 4:40 PM, Wearyone said:

Basically because I told her I wanted to have my lunch break before 2pm due to not eating at regular times triggering my migraines. I was tired and irritated and told her it sounded like she wanted to push me out of my job and I didn't appreciate it. 

Did you tell them about your migraine requirements before they hired you?  If not, that is not her problem and to accuse her of trying to push you out of your job was rude.  I suggest you learn how to talk to people if you want to keep any job.

[mark clemson]

On 11/5/2022 at 1:40 PM, Wearyone said:

The atmosphere at this place is insanely toxic though.

This is an easy one. Find a better job ASAP.

I was young once, and stayed in some toxic work environments that I probably should have just left. I will concede it "toughened me up" some ways, BUT it was also very distressing and I certainly regretted it at the time. And in some ways I've gotten lucky to end up where I am, coming out of it "successfully" was NOT a foregone conclusion by any means.

Keep in mind that "demanding" isn't the same thing as "toxic".  Life is short, don't spend too long in an environment where the people cause you substantial distress.

Edited November 7, 2022 by mark clemson

[NuevoYorko]

On 11/6/2022 at 7:40 AM, Wearyone said:

The department manager called me into her office on day five of the job and asked me if I thought I was the "right fit" for the role. Basically because I told her I wanted to have my lunch break before 2pm due to not eating at regular times triggering my migraines. I was tired and irritated and told her it sounded like she wanted to push me out of my job and I didn't appreciate it. 

You put a target on your own back with the above exchange.  You've been there for a few days.  It's retail.  People go on their breaks when scheduled.  If you have special requirements , that would have needed to be organized with your boss in advance.  You could have been prepared with some snacks to tide you over.  [ ] You need to be a "people person" in retail and also be prepared to stay on the floor during the busiest times, even if you'd rather be eating lunch.  Customers / sales ALWAYS come first.

Edited November 7, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
civility

[Wiseman2]

On 11/5/2022 at 4:40 PM, Wearyone said:

A month ago I started a job as a beauty advisor The atmosphere at this place is insanely toxic .

Why not go back to your usual job? This situation isn't working out. Perhaps you could do something in this field part time or as a hobby? For example offer your services at bridal showers or similar parties.

If in just one month you already feel it's a toxic workplace, there's no need to tough it out.