How many hugs are too many for a first date?

[lavenderandvelvet]

So yes he did text a bit, and we had a short convo. But no new plans. We will see what happens, he still has the ball.
 

But also I feel like Thanksgiving time is always a really strange time. And I have some travel. And I think he does too. So maybe that’s the real blocker. 
 

We’ll see what happens. 

[Wiseman2]

On 11/10/2022 at 12:23 AM, lavenderandvelvet said:

 am absolutely puzzled by a recent first date I had. 

Unfortunately one and done dates are quite common.

Keep in mind you're both still talking to and meeting others.

If you haven't heard from him by now, it's best to move forward. It sounds like he already has.

[stillafool]

On 11/10/2022 at 1:23 AM, lavenderandvelvet said:

I might ping him about Black Panther as we both had plans to see it over the weekend and had an in depth convo on it.

Did you contact him about this?

[lavenderandvelvet]

On 11/10/2022 at 1:17 PM, Lotsgoingon said:

I get you, sister.

I don't think your reading (or confusion over how to read) all the hugging is odd. I think you're onto something.

Now, was the hugging really comfortable to you. Some of the best dates I've ever been on were dates that involved a lot of hugging. Couldn't predict this ahead of time at all. 

Was the hugging TOTALLY comfortable for you? Not just "OK" but pleasant and wonderful? If not, keep your distance. 

Surprisingly it was. While I am affectionate, I am generally not comfortable right away with many people. So that was unusual for me. I am fine at setting boundaries when people are getting too handsy. I also don’t like over the top pda.  I’m reserved. Hugging is about the right place to stop. 

 

15 hours ago, stillafool said:

Did you contact him about this?

haha he didn’t see it yet! Going next week.   And promised to share his opinions. 

Edited November 16, 2022 by lavenderandvelvet

[seeeker]

My hunch is too many hugs is weird. It means something weird, though I'm not sure what exactly. After the 5th hug why not go for a little kiss? He may be tryign to soften you up with non-invasive touching. Although it gives off a friend-zone or your uncle kind of vibe imo.

Why don't you reach out to him instead of assuming the responsibility (the "ball") is his alone? Why is the ball in his court? He already planned and paid for the first date. And probably a lot. That'll tell you what you need to know without waiting around. Men are tired of being saddled with all courtship responsibilities. If you like him, suggest an activity. His response will be informative, one way or the other.

Edited November 16, 2022 by seeeker