should I stop dating ? and can I fully recover ? and would you blame me if I got trust issue ?

[hawkeye12]

I don't know where to start 

betrayal and back stabbing is the most painful feeling you will ever feel I was cheated I didn't care that much but betrayal and from family members that I used to helped and stand by their side when they did need me.  I believe in morals and ethics and I have never betrayed or cheated anyone . I have no idea if I can fully recover.  Every now n then I get my mind thinking about what they did to me. 

My mother diagnosed with deadly cancer mesothelioma I was there when the doc called me to his office and told me I have real bad news and I want you to take breath, and then I was shocked however I didn't tell them right away. 

I did wait for few days and I did my best to make them ready to hear the bad news I knew death is coming but what happened later was never ever expected.   Anyway it took me year an half to take care of my mother during the chemotherapy phase.  I was exhausted and emotionally drained and my brother and sister did know how much I loved my mother but since we were kids they did hate me and felt jealous and they were always into witchcraft 

I couldn't continue taking care of her alone.  I was exhausted so they suggested to take my place.  I said okay then suddenly my nephew called me and said your mom passed away I was shocked - but wait - it's not the end of the story.  They did bury her without funeral ! Without anyone knowledge and then they said we did that as a revenge!

I couldn't understand what kind of revenge and for what ! I did nothing except small argument between us.  I felt insane pain I couldn't bear with the pain I was shocked I even called my ex that moment we were separated for 9 months.  I couldn't I felt my world shattered and I lost trust in everyone since then except 2 person in my life .

Today I have girlfriend but that trauma bite me again.  I feel tired and anger. I understand that might be my destiny but the pain every now n then I feel the pain . I have no idea if this is the right place to write my topic and I'm not sure if I need therapist but I need help and throw this out of my chest I couldn't see her for the last time 

Edited November 12, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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