wtm78 Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 Is it possible to start this thread and everyone just post 1 thing that helped you to deal with divorced or breakup ? Hopefully this thread can help you as much as it would help me... Let me start the ball rolling... - Yelling into the pillow. Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 - Wine Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 (edited) When I separated I needed to piece back parts of my identity and ideology, religious and personal. It was like someone set off a bomb and all the threads were frayed and the framework was shattered. So I engaged with my community leaders at the time and discussed quite a bit. I probably rebuilt from the inside out because I needed a new structure or way of thinking about the world, what marriage or relationships mean to me and I questioned its validity in some respects. I also questioned myself daily and needed to figure out what I wanted for myself the rest of my life as I like to think I’m actually relatively quite young compared to the way I had felt back then. A dysfunctional marriage ages you. I never yelled into the pillow but I did scream underwater as someone recommended which was interesting but did nothing. I’m sorry you’re going through this but stay with it and keep improving yourself. I didn’t stop or take an extra day off professionally, in terms of work. Some people asked if I might have taken time off but that would have accomplished nothing either. Anything I have or worked for came from me and from the love and support of close friends and family. One of the things I’m so grateful for is that I didn’t delay any other plans that were in process or stop myself from doing exactly as I hoped/planned for due to pain or any other feelings I had at the time. My only advice is not to stall and keep growing. The time I was separated went by in the blink of an eye, my spouse wanted to reconcile but I said no. When I look back at that time the funny thing is that the divorce was a small section of what was going on. I did a lot more in that time than just get divorced. Edited November 20, 2022 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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