My girlfriend (F20) Broke up With Me(M18) Because She Said She Was Tired of me

[aphator]

So basically we met online an ldr of 4,500 kms and after a 10 months of relationship. 1+ year of knowing each other she said she is sick of me and now broke up with me. I have been handling this topic for 4 days and finally let her off as she wanted to so bad. but the problem is she is crazy, really crazy. when i saw her In a vc before i let her choose. her eyes were numb.

i treated her to the finest and helped her in every way, and now there is her male bestfriend who came between our fight and now he is the middle man for our communication. 

he showed me her texts and chats, and now she kinda looked happy while im smoking and crying to my heart. 

Specally i just want her, there is no way i can loose her nor giveup on her even if she hates me to death. sooo what should i do, i freaking want her

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, aphator said:

So basically we met online an ldr of 4,500 kms and after a 10 months of relationship.

Have you met in person?

[glows]

You may be learning life isn’t always about what you want. Other people count too. She has a say equally in whether she wants to date you and she chose not to. Why are you trying to control her or force her into staying with you?

If you care an iota about her you would show her that by being respectful of her wishes. 

 

 

[ShyViolet]

I am also wondering if this is someone you've never met in person.

[aphator]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Have you met in person?

No we have never met in person, but we mean a lot to each other. she basically is a Crazy person. like coz she is sure that i wont leave her, i might accept her if she apologizes

[aphator]

1 hour ago, glows said:

You may be learning life isn’t always about what you want. Other people count too. She has a say equally in whether she wants to date you and she chose not to. Why are you trying to control her or force her into staying with you?

If you care an iota about her you would show her that by being respectful of her wishes. 

 

 

i do get your point but, she doesn't really know if she will miss me or not. basically she is tired /sick of everything. so  to her or not.i just wanna know if i matter. Any recommendations? i was planning to leave her alone without a contact to make her miss me from her life.

[aphator]

I am writing this form coz my last was insufficient for you to understand me. 

So basically me and my gf met online and LDR for 10months and knowing her for 1+year. So basically she had a crazy personality and alot of story with her. She is mysterious and she loved me to death. But out of no where, she started acting strange and slowly ignoring me. And thats when she stated ghosting me instead of talking and fixing to me. She blocked me on a few platforms but in Snapchat she didn't, maybe we had alot of our memories saved in there. 

I know she loves me to death, but she isn't ready to get back to me. She is tired of guys bec of her long history of relationships. Although she said to not give up on her knowing her personality again and again. She even took promises to not leave her when she is acting crazy. Ànd now she is but idunoo if its true or not. 

Basically she is assured that i will take her in back and i will forgive her in a blink of a min. I don't think she knows my importance yet. We shared alot between us, promises and secrets. We were just far by physical but not with soul.. and now she seems offf. And there is a third person as our source of communication between us and she was kinda feeling numb when i looked into her eyes. 

Im sure she loves me and can cry to death if something happens to me. But she just doesn't realise the things rn. She is in a flow that she can live without me. 

I really really love her. Just thinking loosing her makes me cry very bad. Soo she means life to me. Any advice. 

I have been having an issue with her since Tuesday this week and now i finally set her off to realise my importance but am i right? Any recommendations? What should i do to make her come back?

[ExpatInItaly]

Never commit yourself to an online stranger. 

This just isn't what a real relationship looks like, OP. You two need to cut contact so you can move on and form healthy relationships with local girls you can date in real life. These purely online "relationships" always have an expiration date. You two have reached yours. 

[aphator]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Never commit yourself to an online stranger. 

This just isn't what a real relationship looks like, OP. You two need to cut contact so you can move on and form healthy relationships with local girls you can date in real life. These purely online "relationships" always have an expiration date. You two have reached yours. 

I appreciate that, but thats not motivating 😅😢

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, aphator said:

My girlfriend (F20) Broke up With Me(M18) Because She Said She Was Tired of me

You never met. She probably wants to date local guys her own age. Why not date local girls who are not "crazy"? People will tire of cyberrelationships quickly when they have a fun full local life. Move on and don't chase an image on a screen.

[mark clemson]

8 hours ago, aphator said:

 sooo what should i do, i freaking want her

Take a step back and realize that this is something our brains do to us. What you want may not actually be her, per se, but the end of your feeling of distress.

Your feeling of distress is caused in part by a drop in the levels of dopamine in your brain. Recognize this and do and focus on other things that make you happy while you "process" the loss. "Processing" tends to take longer than one would like, but after e.g. a few months you should be emotionally ready to date again.

You are young and a few months and a loss like this FEELS like a bigger deal than it actually is. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and the vast majority of us have "been there". You get past it. It's extremely likely that in 10 years you'll look back at this as simply a girl you dated for a while and then broke up with. Special in a way, but not that special in the overall scheme of your life.

Edited November 26, 2022 by mark clemson

[glows]

Have you seen death, OP? It doesn’t cry. And it doesn’t love. It’s impartial and full of inertia and silence. The way you’ve described this is a little extreme. It’s very likely her family and friends are looking out for her or someone found out she was chatting too much with a person she’s never met. And told her to be very careful. 

Try looking for locals to date whom you can vet and meet in person many times over a longer period of time. I’m very certain her loved ones have warned her and she blocked you because you won’t take no for an answer which is a red flag. 

Block and delete so you can process the break up better. Pursuing this is you not accepting that it wasn’t realistic to start and preventing you from finding romance locally without all this drama.

[ExpatInItaly]

17 hours ago, aphator said:

I appreciate that, but thats not motivating 😅😢

It wasn't meant to be motivating. 

It was meant to help you understand that online relationships are not real relationships. You have gotten overly attached to someone you don't even know, which is never healthy and always bound to end like this - in pain. 

Now is the time to examine why you are not out there living life, and meeting young ladies you can actually date. What do you with your time when you're not online? What does your social life look like? 

 

[JTSW]

On 11/26/2022 at 4:17 PM, aphator said:

I am writing this form coz my last was insufficient for you to understand me. 

So basically me and my gf met online and LDR for 10months and knowing her for 1+year. So basically she had a crazy personality and alot of story with her. She is mysterious and she loved me to death. But out of no where, she started acting strange and slowly ignoring me. And thats when she stated ghosting me instead of talking and fixing to me. She blocked me on a few platforms but in Snapchat she didn't, maybe we had alot of our memories saved in there. 

I know she loves me to death, but she isn't ready to get back to me. She is tired of guys bec of her long history of relationships. Although she said to not give up on her knowing her personality again and again. She even took promises to not leave her when she is acting crazy. Ànd now she is but idunoo if its true or not. 

Basically she is assured that i will take her in back and i will forgive her in a blink of a min. I don't think she knows my importance yet. We shared alot between us, promises and secrets. We were just far by physical but not with soul.. and now she seems offf. And there is a third person as our source of communication between us and she was kinda feeling numb when i looked into her eyes. 

Im sure she loves me and can cry to death if something happens to me. But she just doesn't realise the things rn. She is in a flow that she can live without me. 

I really really love her. Just thinking loosing her makes me cry very bad. Soo she means life to me. Any advice. 

I have been having an issue with her since Tuesday this week and now i finally set her off to realise my importance but am i right? Any recommendations? What should i do to make her come back?

Honestly, YOU sound like the crazy one.

You are waaaay to clingy. 

If she is sick of you, this is why.

There is nothing you can do to get her back. You just need to respect her decisions and move on.

You can't force anything. 

Also, from your original post, she seemed to have a sick kind of thrill to seeing you hurt.

This is something you need to stay away from because it gets worse.

Please listen when we say, move on. Leave this one alone.