Angela135 Posted November 26, 2022 Share Posted November 26, 2022 So there’s this person both of us give each other this crazy spark. The only thing is we are both unhappy in our current relationship. I feel like I’m ready to move on. Him on the other side I feel like his having a hard time realizing what he really wants. Anyways we flirt all the time and we have kissed and sex text. I would love to be with him and I’m sure he does too but it seems like he is scared. I’m not sure if he has other feelings for me and he doesn’t know how to respond Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 3 hours ago, Angela135 said: So there’s this person both of us give each other this crazy spark. The only thing is we are both unhappy in our current relationship. I feel like I’m ready to move on. Him on the other side I feel like his having a hard time realizing what he really wants. Anyways we flirt all the time and we have kissed and sex text. I would love to be with him and I’m sure he does too but it seems like he is scared. I’m not sure if he has other feelings for me and he doesn’t know how to respond If you want to be with him that must mean you no longer want to be with your current partner. Why are you still with him if you aren't married? Maybe if you make the move first and leave, if this other guy really wants you too he will follow suit. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 Are you willing to be single should you remove your affair partner from the situation? What you’re attempting to do is called monkeybranching. You’re hopping from one relationship to another as a security blanket. It doesn’t sound like this man is as sure as you are. Would you end your current relationship regardless of whether the AP is in the picture? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 You need to end your relationship, first and foremost. It's clear that it's over. Then you need to realize that the likelihood of this other man winding up with you is slim either way. Affairs don't often transition into lasting relationships. There are too many complications and too little trust. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 11 hours ago, Angela135 said: we flirt all the time and we have kissed and sex text. it seems like he is scared. Do you work together? How do you know each other? He's not "scared", he's just looking for casual sex on the side, telling you the classic "my spouse doesn't understand me", "we're like roommates", type of lines. Focus on extricating yourself from your unhappy relationship. This serves as a distraction and fantasy that you'll leave your awful partners behind and ride off into the sunset happily ever after. However you both know that's not what is going to happen. One of you will get hurt. You or he may or may not get caught. Either way a lot of lives will be negatively impacted unless you stop and reflect on why you are pursuing this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 (edited) 17 hours ago, Angela135 said: I’m not sure if he has other feelings for me and he doesn’t know how to respond He does know how to respond, he’s done it before because he’s in another relationship. When men are interested, they pursue. He’a not scared. He’s not inept at dating. He knows exactly what he is doing and he has agency - if he wanted to leave his relationship to date you, he would. There is nothing stopping you both from dumping your partners and getting together. The fact that he is not doing that tells you something… he is where he wants to be. Unless and until he is single, you need to quit with the texting and the sexting. Don’t assume that he feels the same way that you do - that’s called “projecting.” People are capable of being in a committed relationship and dallying with another - with no intent to leave their actual relationship, they are just enjoying the fun and extra attention of it all. How do we know this to be true? Because you are doing the exact same thing. Don’t read anything more into it - until he leaves his relationship, he does not feel the same as you and there is no future here. This from a girl who’s parents met while they were dating other people and the day after they met - they dumped their other relationships and the rest is history… People who want to be together make it happen. Edited November 27, 2022 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 This guy is just enjoying the attention. If he really wanted you he would make himself single. 99.9% want to stay with their present partner or go back after realizing they made a mistake. If you feel you need to move on from your relationship, then move on, but not because of this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted November 28, 2022 Share Posted November 28, 2022 I agree that he is just giving you excuses as to why he wont leave his current partner. He doesn't intend to leave. He's just enjoying the attention. Link to post Share on other sites
AmyO90 Posted November 28, 2022 Share Posted November 28, 2022 Leave your partner first, if you're even considering moving on with someone else you're clearly not in love with your current partner. Also how would you feel if your current partner was sexting other women? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angela135 Posted December 3, 2022 Author Share Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) So me this guy have been attracted to each other for a while. We have kissed a lot and it’s always hot and very passionately. Like if we wanted to we could have sex right there and then. I feel like sometimes he gets scared. He is more shy than me I must say. I feel like maybe he has feelings for me so his taking his time in maybe not rushing. I feel like if he wanted to we would of had sex already. I could be wrong ? Edited December 3, 2022 by Angela135 Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 I'm assuming this is the guy you talked about in your last thread. If so, you said you both have partners so he probably feels that having sex with you is cheating on his girlfriend. He knows he's wrong for kissing and sexting you but feels like sex is the final frontier. What about your boyfriend, are you still with him and do you feel any guilt? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 I think you should just be upfront with him - tell him that you want him to dump his girlfriend and get with you… save yourself the time and trouble, you know? I hope you’ve ended it with your previous boyfriend and you are not holding into him while you wait to see when/if something happens with this other guy. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 (edited) You could always ask him about it and see what he says. The idea that sex is a final boundary he feels guilty or otherwise ambivalent about is not that farfetched IMO. Edited December 4, 2022 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 11 hours ago, Angela135 said: So me this guy have been attracted to each other for a while. We have kissed a lot and it’s always hot and very passionately. Are either of you in other relationships? Are you dating? Do you work together? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts