Bananasforbananas Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 I broke up with a my partner of three years. We lived together. Though I wasn’t head over heels at first I grew to love and admire him. I had nagging concerns that if I stayed living with him and didn’t break up we would end up married and I wasn’t totally sure that was what I wanted so I broke it off. Now I am seeing someone new but still processing the pain of the breakup because admittedly I do still feel a lot of love for my ex. And every time I run into my ex he seems like an improved and better looking version of himself. That said, the new man I am seeing is sensitive and sweet and smart and meets essentially all my needs. It just so happens that he lives across the street from my ex so it feels like the universe can’t let me get away from him. I still have dreams about my ex every night. Should I get back together with him? My new boyfriend, my ex and I share mutual friends and if I did this everyone would know. He might not even take me back after knowing that I’m seeing someone else. I spent 3 years agonizing over whether my ex was the right one, and now that I’ve cut it off, I’m agonizing over whether this was the right choice. It’s mental warfare and I can’t go a day without breaking down into tears at least once. I’m an emotional mess and once again, on the fence. It is the least enjoyable way to live when you’re in limbo and I want none of it anymore. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 What were your reasons behind shying away from marriage with your ex? I hear that you didn’t want that at the time and would like to hear your view or interpretation of what marriage would have meant to your ex. Were you uneasy about something in particular? Does your current boyfriend know you were dating someone on the same street and when your last relationship ended? What was the timeline or gap between ending the last relationship and starting this new one? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 Why did you jump into a new relationship when you hadn't resolved your feelings about your prior one? I think people call this "monkey branching." Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 You need to break up with the new guy and be alone for at least a year to decide what and who you want in life. Don't put those guys through your drama. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyplanetmoon Posted December 1, 2022 Share Posted December 1, 2022 10 hours ago, stillafool said: You need to break up with the new guy and be alone for at least a year to decide what and who you want in life. Don't put those guys through your drama. Yep I agree 100% choose neither of them. Choose yourself first. You really need to do some work on yourself otherwise you are going to live your whole life with this indecision. You do realize that this is not about a guy or situation, don’t you. It is you who is choosing to be in limbo by your choices. Link to post Share on other sites
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