Ellie56 Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 Iv done nothing wrong, we were in a relationship for many years ,he cheated amongst other things so we stayed friends as we have a lot of history and we did get on better this way , we would talk every day more than once usually about everything , we were also friends with benefits which i wasnt overly happy with but he said he couldnt give me more as we dont work in a relationship as we have tried a few times, theres no trust , so up until 3 weeks ago we were getting on ok and i saw him the saturday & we spoke the following monday ,no problems as far as i was concerned, then nothing at all since, i did message the first week as i couldnt understand what had happened but no response, this is out of character cos he would say or cause an argument to end things , so this ghosting has thrown me , i havent contacted him for 2 weeks and am not going to , but what cpould be his reason? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 I never quite understood the desire or need to continue a sexual relationship with exes. The other thing is that why do you place yourself in such an unfavorable situation in the first place? Figure out what you're getting out of settling for this arrangement. That's your way forward. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 He has probably met someone else and is spending time with her. And it's for the best that he's disappeared. You're settling for way too little by keeping this man in your life at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 I agree he's probably met someone else he wants to date and doesn't know how to tell you without hurting your feelings. Also your relationship sounds more like you were back together than just FWBs and maybe he doesn't want to fall back into that pattern with you and give you the wrong idea that someday, one day you two will get back together again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellie56 Posted December 2, 2022 Author Share Posted December 2, 2022 33 minutes ago, stillafool said: I agree he's probably met someone else he wants to date and doesn't know how to tell you without hurting your feelings. Also your relationship sounds more like you were back together than just FWBs and maybe he doesn't want to fall back into that pattern with you and give you the wrong idea that someday, one day you two will get back together again. I totally agree with you , he did say on numurous occasions that i was acting like we were still together and he didnt want to slip back into that as we dont work as a couple.. I understand that but he could of said he didnt want to see me instead of ghosting me, iv known his for years and hes never done this..But its completely done now Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 5 minutes ago, Ellie56 said: he did say on numurous occasions that i was acting like we were still together and he didnt want to slip back into that as we dont work as a couple He probably just didn't want to have to say it again. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 28 minutes ago, Ellie56 said: I totally agree with you , he did say on numurous occasions that i was acting like we were still together and he didnt want to slip back into that as we dont work as a couple.. I understand that but he could of said he didnt want to see me instead of ghosting me, iv known his for years and hes never done this..But its completely done now I may be wrong but it feels like he's tried breaking it off before and maybe you came up with reasons to stay together or be friends, then FWBs. He didn't want to give you a chance to try to talk him out of it this time, so he ghosted. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Ellie56 said: I understand that but he could of said he didnt want to see me instead of ghosting me, iv known his for years and hes never done this..But its completely done now The more you begin to accept that people may not always act the way we hope they will, the easier it will be to sleep at night. It’s perfectly fine to want what you want. That does not mean that someone else will want it, too. People are people they are not "powers" unless we make them into powers. His ghosting probably has little to do with you. Are you just lonely, or is continuing this situationship a good idea for you? Emotionally, this is like being dumped over and over again. Do you really want to go through that again? The finality of this is inevitable, even if he has gone about it in the wrong way. Nothing beats the power of silence to help you reflect after a breakup. That goes for you too. Edited December 3, 2022 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 18 hours ago, Ellie56 said: ,he cheated amongst other things so we stayed friends ., we were also friends with benefits which i wasnt overly happy with Sorry this is happening. He doesn't seem like a good friend and there's no reason to keep someone like this in your life. Don't settle for a demotion to FWB, if it makes you unhappy. Is this the same man?: Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 3, 2022 Share Posted December 3, 2022 Why haven't you blocked him by now? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 (edited) On 12/2/2022 at 2:11 PM, Ellie56 said: I totally agree with you , he did say on numurous occasions that i was acting like we were still together and he didnt want to slip back into that as we dont work as a couple.. I understand that but he could of said he didnt want to see me instead of ghosting me, iv known his for years and hes never done this..But its completely done now I am sorry, Ellie. It’s time to can this once and for all. The man cheated on you meaning he went behind your back while you were still together. This doesn’t exactly indicate his prizeworthy integrity. He’s about as shady as glass of mud and also evaded breaking up with you while with someone else when you were supposed to be in a relationship. He didn’t end the relationship with you first before pursuing someone else. Why would you expect him now to be any different or to communicate at all on a new love interest or communicate successfully about anything for that matter?? Let go. Find peace getting rid of this person and lose the deadweight. You’ll feel so much better once he’s completely gone. Therapy might help also unpack and help you figure out why you believe anything he offers is sane or good for you. Change your patterns and the kinds of people you let into your life and don’t settle for so little. Edited December 5, 2022 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
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