BrinnM Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 19 hours ago, newlywedder said: therapist says she is a narcissist who likely has borderline personality disorder That’s a stretch. Has she/he met your sister and talked to her? I mean, driving drunk and drinking too much on a regular basis is unhealthy and dangerous, and will obviously harm family ties and such, but for the therapist to say such a thing, that’s strange in my opinion. Alcoholics do not necessarily have NPD and/or BPD, just because they hide their drinking and won’t acknowledge that they over-consume. That’s ludicrous. Almost all heavy drinkers will downplay that. She seems to be an addict by nature, given her past history with heroin, but it looks like she got over it at some point, maybe with the help of a loved one, like her husband? It’s ok for you to stay away, sure. Just let her husband deal with the problem. He also has to protect his children. And I also don’t recommend you call child services. It’s too much of an interference, and they have a father who hopefully takes care of them. It’s literally his call. Unless there’s evidence or a concern that they both drink and neglect their children, or do drugs and the children are in danger, there’s no reason (yet) to get involved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 On 12/12/2022 at 12:33 AM, newlywedder said: She is highly stressed at work so is self medicating with the alcohol I know it. Frankly she needs to lose her job if she's drinking while around children. That would be the best thing for her and certainly them. Then perhaps she will be forced to get the help she needs. After sittiing there watching her down a pitcher of beer you should have taken her keys from her and drove the car yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 19 hours ago, newlywedder said: Update: It’s been over a week. Her 9 year old daughter called today and wished us all a Merry Christmas. I started therapy and the therapist says she is a narcissist who likely has borderline personality disorder too. That’s why she won’t see fault in driving drunk. She doesn’t even think she is an alcoholic. I’m to blame for calling the police. My therapist says I should journal my feelings. She thinks us having no contact is for the best so that I can heal from my sister’s abuse. I've never heard of a therapist diagnosing a person they've never seen or talked to. I wouldn't trust her. I do agree that you and your sister should stay away from each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author newlywedder Posted December 25, 2022 Author Share Posted December 25, 2022 4 hours ago, stillafool said: I've never heard of a therapist diagnosing a person they've never seen or talked to. I wouldn't trust her. I do agree that you and your sister should stay away from each other. She is a good therapist and just said she suspects that of my sister. It isn’t a diagnosis. My sister would never go to therapy. She thinks she is perfect and isn’t the cause of any problems. I’m the one to blame for everything. The journaling has helped get my feelings out. I have a lifetime of being gastlighted and abused by her. It’s a blessing not to feel that I have to be around her anymore. It was my dad’s dying wish for us to never be apart. However, she harms my safety and mental health. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newlywedder Posted December 25, 2022 Author Share Posted December 25, 2022 (edited) 4 hours ago, stillafool said: Frankly she needs to lose her job if she's drinking while around children. That would be the best thing for her and certainly them. Then perhaps she will be forced to get the help she needs. After sittiing there watching her down a pitcher of beer you should have taken her keys from her and drove the car yourself. Yes I agree. She teaches preschool children and isn’t fit for the job. She is very racist so would make fun of the non-white kids. She treats the white kids better with more attention from what she told me. After school she goes to a bar and grill with her daughter and has a pitcher of beer. I’ve seen it a couple times firsthand. It’s only a matter of time until she gets a DUI. Edited December 25, 2022 by newlywedder Link to post Share on other sites
Author newlywedder Posted December 25, 2022 Author Share Posted December 25, 2022 5 hours ago, BrinnM said: That’s a stretch. Has she/he met your sister and talked to her? I mean, driving drunk and drinking too much on a regular basis is unhealthy and dangerous, and will obviously harm family ties and such, but for the therapist to say such a thing, that’s strange in my opinion. Alcoholics do not necessarily have NPD and/or BPD, just because they hide their drinking and won’t acknowledge that they over-consume. That’s ludicrous. Almost all heavy drinkers will downplay that. She seems to be an addict by nature, given her past history with heroin, but it looks like she got over it at some point, maybe with the help of a loved one, like her husband? It’s ok for you to stay away, sure. Just let her husband deal with the problem. He also has to protect his children. And I also don’t recommend you call child services. It’s too much of an interference, and they have a father who hopefully takes care of them. It’s literally his call. Unless there’s evidence or a concern that they both drink and neglect their children, or do drugs and the children are in danger, there’s no reason (yet) to get involved. Her husband is a bigger alcoholic and drug user than she is. Everytime we would go there, he passed out drunk. His daughter doesn’t like him becoming he ignores her. I’m even more worried because now I can’t contact her if I am needed. One if she gets arrested and needs to be bailed out? I won’t even know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newlywedder Posted December 25, 2022 Author Share Posted December 25, 2022 18 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: It's good you are seeing a therapist. Although no healthcare professional would make these armchair diagnoses, the important thing is helping you distance yourself and cope with codependent tendencies. Yes I agree. She was only suspecting that of my sister based on what I told her about our past together. It’s not an official diagnosis and could be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, newlywedder said: She is very racist so would make fun of the non-white kids. She treats the white kids better with more attention from what she told me. After school she goes to a bar and grill with her daughter and has a pitcher of beer. Jesus. Well if this is true, then she’ll be losing her job very soon & get a DUI, or both. And if the kid has no reliable father, then the next of kin will be in charge, if you want to avoid foster care for her. Are you ready for this? Edited December 25, 2022 by BrinnM Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 3 hours ago, newlywedder said: One if she gets arrested and needs to be bailed out? I won’t even know. This is enabling her. Stop it. Stop being there for her if it's affecting your mental health. How old is her daughter? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 3 hours ago, newlywedder said: Yes I agree. She was only suspecting that of my sister based on what I told her about our past together. It’s not an official diagnosis and could be wrong. I still can't believe a professional would even suggest a diagnosis. She knows nothing about your sister. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts