Will my ex come back?

[Lonergal]

We broke up a month ago cos he cheated and going through depression. He said it was simply casual and he said he doesnt have any feelings for the girl. When I first confronted him, he said he didnt plan on leaving me if hadnt caught and was undecided to breakup after I found out. But then when I learned more details about the cheating, he ended it and he said he doesnt deserve a second chance tho I said I was willing if he would tell me his issues with me that led him to cheat. He wouldnt say at first so I still text him 2x a week for closure and he seemed annoyed and said that we’re done and has lost feelings.
 

But few days ago he finally opened up about his issue with me and misunderstanding in our relationship.  he said that I seemed to not understand how hard life is for him right now. Like I was insensitive. That may have led him to seek attention somewhere else. 

Hes been ranting about life for the past 2 months. He just graduated and he went abroad to find work. He ended up at a housekeeping job which he despises. Maybe he got a wounded ego. Cos in his home country he is a pilot but unemployed. I have always been there for him to cheer him up but maybe the stress was too much for him. 

I apologized to him for making him feel that way. I then told him that I understand his situation and to focus on his healing. He then said, “let me be for now. Thanks for everything”. Is there still a chance? Cos he said “for now”
But I stopped messaging already after I apologized

Edited December 15, 2022 by Lonergal

[glows]

It doesn’t sound like he wants to be with you. He seems like he’s going through a rough time but it’s important you don’t become someone’s punching bag just because they’re stressed. 

You can be sympathetic but have good boundaries and move on. Don’t put your life on hold for someone who just tossed you out like yesterday’s trash. Any mental or emotional problems he has with himself and his work or his life he’ll have to work out on his own.

 

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Lonergal said:

. Hes been ranting about life for the past 2 months. He ended up at a housekeeping job which he despises. 

It seems like you dodged a bullet. He appears to be an unhappy disgruntled man with poor planning and life skills who damages whoever's lives he passes through like a tornado. Delete and block him so you can focus on quality local men.

 

[JTSW]

10 hours ago, Lonergal said:

he said that I seemed to not understand how hard life is for him right now. Like I was insensitive. That may have led him to seek attention somewhere else. 

Seriously?

He cheats and says its your fault?

And what the hell did you apologise for? You did nothing wrong.

He projected his guilt on to you and you fell for it.

No, just no.

I'm sorry but he is a complete a**hole for turning it all around on you like that.

There is no excuse for cheating so do not feel bad or sorry in anyway.

You did not cause him to cheat. He did that on his own and because he wanted to.

You have dodged a massive bullet with this one.

 

[stillafool]

He cheats on you then blames you and breaks up saying he's lost feeling for you and you've been chasing and running after him to give you closure?  What are you doing?  Do you have any respect for yourself?

[Noproblem]

Why do you want a cheater to come back?

You better of blocking him everywhere,

His depression and cheating ways are not your problems.

You are not his therapy.

He is a user who if ever come back, will break your heart again, use up your time, love and energy to feels high from his low of depressive modes, then go cheat again and leave again.

 

B L O C K H I M

[Lotsgoingon]

You lost me when you were looking for a "reason" that he cheated. That's like dating someone who robs you after you find a reason for why they robbed you.

Moral of the story: stay away from robbers, stay away from cheaters. If you forgive him, basically you are telling him that he could cheat again, throw some reasons at you if he gets caught, and you'll take him back. 

[Kitty_m]

Thank you for all the advice. Some great views and learnings for me🙏🏻

and about this guy, i dont think hes worth it. At the end of the day even if what i say is horrible, if he wanted me he would communicate and let me express my apology. I feel shut down and goes to show he doesnt have maturity to deal wth my sensitive condition nor able to support me through it when more hoops pop up later in the relationship. So ill use this learning for future and (try my hardest to)press pause and think about my reaction!