Exes and birthday texts

[dottiepattotie]

Hi everyone,

Just a short disclaimer : I am not interested in getting back with this person. I just want to understand why I felt this way and get your opinion/advice on how to best approach things in the future as this has been bothering me for two days. 

I (24F) was dating someone (26F) for a few months. She broke things off because I was moving to another country. I was her first everything and it was very hard tiptoeing into pretty much everything (being physical, kissing,etc). She had her birthday during these months and I offered her thoughtful and personalized gifts (without expecting anything in return, I love giving gifts to the people I love). We are still in contact and text every other week.

My birthday was two days and I was expecting a birthday text from her. But nothing came...

Is this silly? Why am I upset? I understand birthdays aren't important for everyone but I find it odd that someone would remember small details of things I said yet forgets my birthday.

Thank you!

Edited December 21, 2022 by dottiepattotie

[Wiseman2]

14 minutes ago, dottiepattotie said:

She broke things off because I was moving to another country.

Sorry this happened. It may be best to focus on your family, local friends and local dating opportunities than rely on or be disappointed that she's no longer nearby or a GF. Try to cut back on the dependency on her. Attempting to stay friends will result in dragging out pain because you're neither together nor apart. 

[Calmandfocused]

Sorry you’re upset. 
 

You have to remember that you were only together a few months before it ended. 
 

Not to discount your feelings but you have to accept that she’s going to be moving on with her life. This means not having your birthday at the fore front of her mind. 
 

The bottom line is you can’t be together. You’d be helping yourself if you focused on moving forward and meeting other women who live close by. 
 

In time you’ll build a new life for yourself and you won’t care if you hear from her or not, on your birthday or otherwise. 

[ShyViolet]

She has moved on and so should you.  I"m not sure why you're thinking that she "forgot" your birthday.  This is someone who you dated for a few months and who broke up with you.  You are not supposed to celebrate your birthday with exes, you are supposed to celebrate it with people who are currently in your life.  Focus on moving forward.

[smackie9]

Sending gifts was not appropriate regardless of what you told us. I agree there's a time and place to give gifts and that wasn't it. She's making it a point that she's not thinking of you and that she's moved on.

[glows]

She broke it off with you and I suspect she's a little further along in the healing process than you are. Such is the nature of these things unfortunately. 

The birthday text has always been yet another gray area. Some people will still text their exes like any other friend and sometimes it’s welcome and other times it isn’t. 

Do you mind me asking why you’re keeping in touch with her? Were you friends for a very long time before you dated or before she moved away? 

[Trail Blazer]

I receive birthday 'well wishes' from exes on Facebook.  But, having said that, all of them I dated for much longer than a few months.

Would I be upset if an ex doesn't send me a birthday message?  No.  Do I like that they do?  Sure, I do the same. 

I guess it's nice to feel like as few bridges in life are burnt as possible.  However, you know what?  If no well-wishes are forthcoming, it really doesn't imply anything bad at your end.

Just focus on your own goals and let what will be, be...

[JTSW]

You're not together so there is no obligation to wish each other happy birthday.

She has moved on.

So should you.