I started sleeping with my roommate and I feel like I woke up in a relationship. Am I just over thinking?

[ElleF123]

I got out of a really bad relationship a few months ago. My friend knew of someone looking for a roommate and vouched for him. It was kind of an emergency situation so I moved in. He is a really nice guy, has his s*** together, and he is really attractive. I am 23 and he is 26.

 

Couple of weeks ago we ended up hanging out, talking and we had sex that night. The sex was great and we really hit it off. He is really easy to be around we get along really well. I really like him. I know it wasn’t the smartest move to start sleeping with him but things seem ok. At first I kind of though we were just having fun but I woke up a few days ago, started thinking about everything and realized that I think we are in a relationship. We have slept together every night for 2 weeks and slept in the same bed. We text all of the time and have also had dinner together every night for two weeks and do things together. 

 

I was not looking for another relationship but what would be the smart thing to do? Should I try to slow things down or just go with it?. It has helped me get over ex and I have already made the decision to sleep with him and it seems to be going ok. 

[stillafool]

You need to have a talk with him about where you guys are going with this.  He may be just as confused as you.  If you aren't ready for a relationship yet now is the time to say so.  It's going to be terribly awkward when one or both of you start dating other people and they sleep over.

[smackie9]

If you are sleeping together and spending all your time together etc....why is that so bad? Are you not happy? Is it a question of not having feelings? You think he's getting way too attached and you are having second thoughts and not want to string him along? 

[ElleF123]

21 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

If you are sleeping together and spending all your time together etc....why is that so bad? Are you not happy? Is it a question of not having feelings? You think he's getting way too attached and you are having second thoughts and not want to string him along? 

I guess I’m just worried that it will go badly or we aren’t on the same page. It has been great and I like him a lot. I’m probably just over thinking things. I’m freaking out internally a little bit because I didn’t expect this to happen. 

[BaileyB]

I think the risk here is that you will be looking for somewhere else to live if this goes sour… Otherwise, I would just live in the moment and see what happens.

[BrinnM]

If it works, it works. Some things just happen, they’re are unplanned & unpredictable. I’d say go with the flow, don’t overthink, but protect your feelings. He might just enjoy himself, nothing more. You’ve gotta be prepared for that. 

[glows]

Are you looking at ways to avoid living with roommates in the future? Studying or looking at a career where you’re more financially stable? Be smart about your money especially now that you have a roommate. Enjoy the romance but take care of yourself. If this tanks you can pay your own bills and stay anywhere you want. That peace of mind may also create less anxiety about your personal life. You’re not tied or dependent on anyone.

[Nightowl008]

Yeah, I wouldn't overthink this and immediately put a label on it that this is a serious relationship unless you want it to be, then maybe talk to him and ask what he thinks of this.

But I'd just go with the flow and re-assess your feelings and thoughts in a couple months from now. You might feel this is going great and maybe then you could have the 'relationship talk' and 'label' it if you want that. The only thing that you might want to think about is, would things become awkward if one if you just want this as a fling, but still remain roommates?

Focus on your life, get over your breakup, enjoy being with him and see how it goes. Hang out with your loved ones and just go with the flow. Hopefully soon you know what you want;)

[Lotsgoingon]

It's quite smart to realize you went from sex to relationship overnight. Totally makes sense to me that you would be shocked and maybe afraid and kinda confused. You haven't traveled the typical route of relationship where we gradually, step by step, increase our trust. You've gone from 0 to 100 mph in minutes. You really don't know this guy even if you've spent 2 weeks together.

So your worries are valid. Now have the conversation with him. Own up to being nervous and a little disoriented. Talking things out with him will probably help you feel more secure and more clear. Oh, and I'm not assuming "more clear" means you settle into the way things have gone. More clear could be you decide you need to move out or you guys need to pause the sex button. 

 

[JTSW]

Do you want a relationship with him?

If not then I suggest you stop sleeping together before someone gets hurt.

If you want this relationship then tell him about it.

IMO you seem well matched.

[ZA Dater]

Do not overthink...it's hard not to but rather focus in the present than overthinking the present and the situation.

One thing I can tell you, life is short, if the moment is good enjoy it.