glows Posted November 8, 2022 Share Posted November 8, 2022 You still have someone who dodges questions and plays games. She answers or addresses you when she feels like it not when you ask the question. I don’t sense much respect. Link to post Share on other sites
karendonaire Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 We went on a couple of dates and I stood him up for the last one. He told me that he doesn't want to see me again if I behave this way with him. I told him I don't want to see him and lost interest. He stopped contacting me for two months. Then out of the blue, he sent me a text of something that we used to do together. Apparently, it reminded him to me. We started to chat a bit, spoke about what happened in our life in the past couple of months. Then he asked me out. I told him that the only day that would work for me due to xmas and family vacations is a Sunday. He tried to set the date and time but I never replied, left him on read. I didn't really feel to see him again. It has been almost a week now. The day I offered for the date is gone now anyways. But now, like a man-child, he suddenly unfriended me on Facebook. Did I dodge a bullet here? Why does he care so much about me to even unfriend me? This is weird to me... Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 Doesn’t seem weird to me at all. This wasn’t going anywhere and he doesn’t care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 Well why don't you just block him and not worry about it. He obviously isn't that important to you either since you leave him on read and don't have a need to see him. Why worry about it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Atwood Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 You stood him up and didn’t reply to his messages. He made it clear from the outset he wasn’t interested in you if you behaved that way and you continued to be evasive to his attempts to communicate. He unfriended you because he set a boundary and he’s following through. He’s very healthily protecting himself from someone who isn’t bothered. If you just ignore people why should they keep trying with you? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 Why would you behave like this? You're only in charge of yourself. It's out of line to stand people up or to blow people off when they're confirming a date (where YOU proposed the time). I'm decades older than him and I'd have "unfriended" you after the first go round of dating. Why you such a game player? It's a waste of everybody's time including yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 5 hours ago, karendonaire said: . He tried to set the date and time but I never replied. he suddenly unfriended me on Facebook. It's for the best to delete and block each other. It just didn't work out. He blocked you on social media and that prevents either of you wasting more time on this. Link to post Share on other sites
karendonaire Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 He didn't block me, he just unfriended me. I just don't understand. I find it very childish to unfriend me like this. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 17 hours ago, karendonaire said: * We went on a couple of dates and I stood him up for the last one. * He tried to set the date and time but I never replied, left him on read. I didn't really feel to see him again. I think you do not understand the concept of cause and effect. Standing a guy up and leaving him on read: Of course he unfriended you!!! How do you not understand this? And given that you don't want to see him anyway, why do you care? The only childish behaviour I see here is from your end 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 43 minutes ago, karendonaire said: I just don't understand. I find it very childish to unfriend me like this. Did you read the responses to your post? Your question has been answered. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 2 hours ago, karendonaire said: I find it very childish to unfriend me like this. May be so, but in the long run, who cares? You don't even like him or respond to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 (edited) 21 hours ago, karendonaire said: But now, like a man-child, he suddenly unfriended me on Facebook. Did I dodge a bullet here? Why does he care so much about me to even unfriend me? This is weird to me... Well, technically speaking unfriending someone on Facebook is a neutral act in and of itself. It's the series of events that lead to the unfriending that determine whether it's mature or immature. In your case, you showed the guy at least twice that you were not interested in him and did not value his time. So it would be pointless for him to continue to maintain you as a friend on Facebook. What on earth would he talk about with someone who stood him up just because or didn't bother responding to an attempt to set a date? And if he had nothing to discuss with the person, why would he keep the door open to communication? In my opinion, he did the right thing. It was a mature, boundary-setting action. And now you don't have to worry about each other. You, on the other hand, were behaving with great immaturity when you strung him along and then ultimately stood him up. It was also immature to pretend you were interested in meeting him then to just go silent. I find it curious that you acted as if you were uninterested in him but still managed to notice that he unfriended you. What's the story there? You liked the attention he was giving you? Edited December 24, 2022 by Acacia98 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 @karendonaire Well, when you do the following to someone: Quote We went on a couple of dates and I stood him up for the last one. Quote He tried to set the date and time but I never replied, left him on read. ..they're going to get sick of you and leave. You made it crystal clear you don't care about him or his time so he set healthy boundaries for himself to help get over this miserable interaction with you. The only thing that upsets you is your wounded ego. You're the child here. Not him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 7 hours ago, karendonaire said: He didn't block me, he just unfriended me. I just don't understand. I find it very childish to unfriend me like this. What’s wrong with unfriending someone who isn’t a friend? You didn’t seem too friendly and admitted you didn’t feel like seeing him again. Don’t respond to him again if he reaches out. For whatever reason - low self esteem, boredom, etc - he reached out to you last time. You showed him again how disinterested you are and he’s gone. Hopefully he doesn’t come back or you simply ignore. It would save the both of you Round 3. At some level this must seem very predictable to you. You both tried and there is truly nothing there to go on. Make space and spend time with other people you actually like. Be friends on social media you really do respect and meet. Everything else is unnecessary. Link to post Share on other sites
LynneVicious Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 8 hours ago, karendonaire said: He didn't block me, he just unfriended me. I just don't understand. I find it very childish to unfriend me like this. Do you find it childish to stand someone up and ignore their messages? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted December 25, 2022 Share Posted December 25, 2022 On 12/23/2022 at 11:41 PM, karendonaire said: He didn't block me, he just unfriended me. I just don't understand. I find it very childish to unfriend me like this. What do you find childish about it? Serious question. I mean isn't it obvious? NOT unfriending would suggest he considers you as a "friend." After your immature behavior, he no longer considers you as such. And rightfully so. Nothing childish about it. To the contrary, it's quite level-headed and mature. Why do you care? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
karendonaire Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 16 hours ago, poppyfields said: What do you find childish about it? Serious question. Why do you care? I just find it very weird that someone would go this length after a couple of dates to distance himself from me. I mean, it is scary that he went through the trouble to unfriend me. It was only a couple of dates, we were just getting to know each other, not boyfriend / girlfriend. I did not think he cared this much - we don't even know each other that well. Link to post Share on other sites
Stret Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 32 minutes ago, karendonaire said: I mean, it is scary that he went through the trouble to unfriend me. It is literally just a press of the button, 2 seconds of work, it is not a trouble at all - why would you think anything more of that? You are nothing to each other. You made it clear that you're not interested in ever seeing him - why should he clog his FB page with posts from people who treated him without basic respect? For me, it would be strange if he kept you on - you don't amount even to a FB friend. Move on and stop wondering about a guy you didn't even want to date. Why are you suddenly so interested in him? If rejection turns you on with men you're in for a rough ride. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 34 minutes ago, karendonaire said:I just find it very weird that someone would go this length after a couple of dates to distance himself from me. I mean, it is scary that he went through the trouble to unfriend me. It was only a couple of dates, we were just getting to know each other, not boyfriend / girlfriend. I did not think he cared this much - we don't even know each other that well. It’s no trouble to unfriend someone. Less than zero trouble if the potential date is flakey...as you were. He doesn’t care about you. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 (edited) 7 hours ago, karendonaire said: I just find it very weird that someone would go this length after a couple of dates to distance himself from me. I mean, it is scary that he went through the trouble to unfriend me. It was only a couple of dates, we were just getting to know each other, not boyfriend / girlfriend. I did not think he cared this much - we don't even know each other that well. Well tbh, cause I've done this, it also may have been his way of telling you, without using words, that he can't be bothered anymore, you mean so little to him, he doesn't want to clutter his 'friends' list with people who no longer mean anything to him, who he no longer values. Given your actions towards him, it's understandable. So yeah it was a message to you, he's DONE. It wasn't childish, but something he needed to do in order to move on. Best to accept that, reflect upon your own behavior and hopefully learn something of value from it. Edited December 26, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 21 minutes ago, poppyfields said: he doesn't want to clutter his 'friends' list with people who no longer mean anything to him, who he no longer values. I used to do this every December in order to start the New Year off fresh without old baggage. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 On 12/24/2022 at 12:41 AM, karendonaire said: He didn't block me, he just unfriended me. I just don't understand. I find it very childish to unfriend me like this. I find it perfectly reasonable and honestly a pretty mature reaction. If anything OP: it's your behavior that's childish and adolescent. Leaving him on read. Standing him up? Sheesh. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 On 12/24/2022 at 2:41 AM, karendonaire said: He didn't block me, he just unfriended me. I just don't understand. I find it very childish to unfriend me like this. There's nothing childish about what he did. I find your reactions and your calling him "childish" to be very strange and uncalled for. He's doing the logical thing. Why would he want to stay friends with you on FB when you stood him up, and then later ghosted him? Honestly, what is so hard to understand about that and what is "childish" about that? Why should he want to keep you on his FB list of friends? You are spending way too much energy even worrying about this. If you know you're not interested in him why don't you simply move on? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 10 hours ago, karendonaire said: it is scary that he went through the trouble to unfriend me. It's just a tap on the phone. No trouble at all. Try to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Stret Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 OP, I had a question. Why would you want him on your FB anyway? What would that contact serve you in life? Link to post Share on other sites
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