I want to be with her (I really lover her!)

[alfmetalhead]

I've been in the sixth form for two years but this year has been so different. My eyes caught the smile of a 16 year old girl that joined the sixth form. She wasnt the sexiest or most popular (even my best friend thinks shes annoying) From the time she came to the sixth form we would occassionally catch each others eyes, and you could actually tell that she likes me because my friends say that she keeps looking at me. About four weeks ago i got her phone number because i needed a female singer in my band. We then started texting each other having conversations such as 'so what are you doing now' and they eventually evolved into her texting me her problems and i would comfort her by saying that i was there for her. At the sixth form we would talk and tell jokes to each other as well as having normal conversations. She would laugh at my jokes and i would laugh at her jokes because we both liked each other a lot. Two weeks ago on a friday i text her asking her if she wanted to hang out sometime in the weekend, but she said she was busy with her friends since there was a party on saturday night which everyone knew about.

The reason why i wanted to hang out with her was because i wanted to tell her how i felt, but i couldnt do it because she was busy. So it was now saturday.The party started at 7 in the evening and she text me asking me if i was going to the party. i said no because i had lots of stuff to do. It was now midnight and i got a text message from the girl asking me if i would be her boyfriend. i text back asking why and she said because she really really likes me so then i text back saying yes i would like to be your boyfriend. I text my sister telling her about the girl and my sister text me back saying congratulations (she happenned to be at the party as well). The girl then called on my phone about 15 minutes later and we talked for a bit. She couldnt believe when i said yes (she was also making sure i wasnt going to screw her around because shes had a bad past with boyts leaving her) She also told me that shed been waiting to ask me out for quite some time and that she had been waiting for this party to ask me out. She was a little bit drunk though, but i didnt think anything of it. So it was then sunday when she text me saying 'i think i did something really stupid last night'. i text back saying 'no you didnt' and i was quite puzzled because maybe she was having second thoughts. So i just went throughout the whole sunday thinking 'whats going on?'.

It was now monday and the mood in the sixth form was intense. I saw her and she turned her head away like in a shameful way. she walked out the room and i was just standing there thinking whats going on here?

I saw one of my best friends and the first thing he said to me was 'im really sorry about what happened, youre better off without her'. I didnt have a clue what was happening so i then decided to ask someone what had happened.

Well, a couple of hours after she asked me out she had met this 23 year old and apparently they dissappeared for a while and apparently they were making out. They came back to the party and everyone was really shocked because she was suppossed to be going out with me. I then got one of my friends to talk to the girl and i found out that she was going out with this 23 year old loser. She said she still liked me but as a friend. It was like a big shock to me. i mean what would a 23 year old want with a 16 year old girl?

I thought to myself 'i still have a chance to win her heart' so i made her a poem and i also text her saying that i loved her and everything. She text back saying i had to move on, but i text her back saying 'but you never gave me a chance!'. a week ago i text her asking her if she wanted to hang out but she said no because she was busy. she also said that she was going to introduce this 23 year old to her parents and she was nervous. I told her to becareful because this guy has a history of leaving women within a short period of time. She snapped at me and said that he was lovely and all that, but i didnt really say anything since i knew she was just angry. A day later she apologized for snapping out and asked me why i had told her to becareful with this guy. i just told her that he had a history of leaving women, and she would have to find out the rest by herself sooner or later.

Since then we have only just ignored one another but the thing is i can tell that she still really likes me because she keeps looking at me whenever im not looking at her (ive seen her in a mirror doing so as well). I love her and i know that deep inside she still really likes me but now shes got her 23 year old boyfriend. My friends say that shell realise with time that im the right one for her, and she will come to me when she splits up with her 23 year old boyfriend. They also say that the age difference between her and her boyfriend will affect their relationship.

So now its been a week without any contact whatsoever and i dont know what to do because the situation is just so horrible. I have accepted the fact that i will have to be patient and wait for her to realise that im the right one for her, but i dont know what to do meanwhile in order to steer her towards me. I really love her and i know we are meant for each other since we love each others company and we have a lot in common (music, reading, history and so on). What do i have to do to make her realise??????????

[lonely4you]

I believe you care for her a lot and will be patient until she finally realizes the error of her ways. The only thing i suggest is just keep talking to her, waving to her and just be yourself around her. perhaps with the more conversation the quicker you and her will realize what relationship you will share. Another thing you may be able to do is make her jealous, flirt with other girls or just talk to other girls while she is around and watch her reaction.

 

i just dont know why you want to be her second choice if he breaks her heart; if she thinks you are not good enough to be her boyfriend now why are you going to wait around to be there when she falls, but then again this is your choice.

 

Just dont let her forget what an amazing person you are.

[glittergurl]

... what would a 23 year old want with a 16 year old girl?

 

And what exactly would you want with a selfish brat? She is so immature. You did everything just right, until you wrote her that poem after she made out with the other guy. Seriously, what the hell? You could have walked away with class, and she would have maybe realized and learned her lessons. Now it's all screwed up. At least she's right about one thing: you have to get over it and move on.

[alfmetalhead]

I believe you care for her a lot and will be patient until she finally realizes the error of her ways. The only thing i suggest is just keep talking to her, waving to her and just be yourself around her. perhaps with the more conversation the quicker you and her will realize what relationship you will share. Another thing you may be able to do is make her jealous, flirt with other girls or just talk to other girls while she is around and watch her reaction.

 

i just dont know why you want to be her second choice if he breaks her heart; if she thinks you are not good enough to be her boyfriend now why are you going to wait around to be there when she falls, but then again this is your choice.

 

Just dont let her forget what an amazing person you are.

 

Ive been talking to some of my friends and you seem to be right about giving her time to realise that shes making a mistake. The reason why i want to be second choice is because i know we have a lot of potential together and if she gave us both a chance to be together im sure it will work really well. And yes, its my choice.

[morrigan]

What do i have to do to make her realise??????????

 

She realizes that you have feelings for her, she knows you are there for her. It was her choice to get with a 23 year old player when she knows that another, better person cares about her. You can't make her want to be with you. I personally don't want someone who felt it was a 'mistake' to agree to dating me.

 

She may have a lot of the same interests as you (I'm into death metal, thrash and grindcore music myself), but there are other, more mature girls your age who have the same interests who would want to date you now, not play games.

 

If anything, back off from talking or hanging around with her--make it clear that you're not going to be there for her anytime she doesn't have a boyfriend. Talk to other girls. She may start to view you differently, and you may realize that she's not the only worthwhile girl out there.

[alfmetalhead]

She realizes that you have feelings for her, she knows you are there for her. It was her choice to get with a 23 year old player when she knows that another, better person cares about her. You can't make her want to be with you. I personally don't want someone who felt it was a 'mistake' to agree to dating me.

 

She may have a lot of the same interests as you (I'm into death metal, thrash and grindcore music myself), but there are other, more mature girls your age who have the same interests who would want to date you now, not play games.

 

If anything, back off from talking or hanging around with her--make it clear that you're not going to be there for her anytime she doesn't have a boyfriend. Talk to other girls. She may start to view you differently, and you may realize that she's not the only worthwhile girl out there.

 

I've realised that i have to talk to other girls, and there are a lot of pretty lovely girls out there, but what should i do about this girl? should i ignore her or talk to her. Maybe i should do both things just to see whether she gets jealous when i flirt with other girls, and then be nice to her (sorry about the english i have used. Im English you see)

[Unlicensed Theropist]

I think you should ignore her, avoid her. If you do this it will help you in two ways. While you arent seeing and talking to her all the time you will be slowly getting over her. You will also be making her think about wether she did the right thing " Absence makes the heart grow fonder". If youre not always there for her to see and talk to she will begin to miss what you had. This technique youre doing now gives her the best of both worlds. You are there for moral support and he is the bf who gives her everything else. Right now you are filling in what he cant. She definately screwed up. I think her hooking up with him after she asked you out was a big mistake and you should make her pay for it. I dont think being an buthole is the answer. I think you can be respectible in your absence. Just because your hurt doesnt mean you have the right to be disrespectible. I think you seem like a decent young man. Give her and yourself time and let it work itself out. If she comes back to you before you get over her then give it a go. If she comes back to you and youve gotten with another girl dont do the same thing she did to you. Use your pain to guide you through life.