Soccerchick18 Posted December 28, 2022 Share Posted December 28, 2022 AThis is a long one.. but god I can’t stop thinking about it. So, some context to the problem. My husband is 1 of 4 adult kids, he has three sisters. Two sisters are from out of town, one sister lives local. Of the out of town sisters, one has 5 kids, one is single. The in town sister has 3 kids. The sister with 5 kids is the oldest sister, and her oldest kid is 10. Since he was born they have come in to town and done Christmas morning at my in laws. when I first met my husband, this wasn’t a problem. We didn’t have kids, we’d go to his parents early, and then do whatever. Well now that our family has grown (we have a 4 & 1 year old), I realize this isn’t working. My husbands family rushes over in the morning (they want us there at 9 am or earlier) , then we have to leave by 1 for naps and then we host my family for dinner. My husband texted back his sisters this year saying we weren’t rushing the kids and a he got back was “the point of doing the cousin gifts are them being together” and nothing else. Then everyone is all snippy and upset. I really don’t want my kids remembering rushing around and not enjoying just slowing down. In addition to this, his family expects we spend all day with them-for the 5-6 days everyone’s in town. Which just seems a bit insane as we host a Christmas Eve party, Christmas dinner and are just trying to relax - and see my family!! is it me? Am I being unreasonable? His family is super enmeshed so whenever someone tries to do something different everyone gets upset. But I can’t do this anymore- I end up sick or crying from being so exhausted. im having my husband speak with his parents and older SIL who drives all this. I was thinking of setting our boundaries as we get there Christmas morning when we get there- they can continue to do whatever or we can try to figure out something new that works for everyone. In addition we’ll stop by for a few hours in the am or pm each day while they’re here- but we can’t spend all day. thanks for any help. I can’t stop thinking about it and Once again a holiday for me is ruined. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 28, 2022 Share Posted December 28, 2022 OMG! That would drive me crazy. This is why people hate the holidays - relatives. I would let my kids stay home and enjoy their Christmas without having to worry about getting dressed and leaving their toys to go out. Why can't they celebrate before Christmas so everyone can be home on Christmas Day? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 28, 2022 Share Posted December 28, 2022 Sounds exhausting. See, this is not what the holidays are supposed to be about. You need to take back Christmas! Not be on a time table. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 28, 2022 Share Posted December 28, 2022 Do what YOU want and what you feel is right for your kids and your immediate family. They can be upset, they can be snippy. But they don't get to insist on you doing things that dont' work for your family. The holidays shouldn't be a source of stress, and you absolutely do need to put up boundaries, strong ones, and don't feel bad about saying NO when it's necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
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