JEG88 Posted January 1, 2023 Share Posted January 1, 2023 I moved back in with my parents several months ago, after going through a breakup and ending the lease of the place I shared with my ex. On top of that, I got a new job shortly after moving back. I definitely appreciated having my parents as my support system to help me settle into these major life changes, they got me through some very tough times at both work and with my emotional healing process. In turn, I helped them with household and financial things. (My mom’s arthritis is getting worse, and my dad doesn’t drive as well these days.) I just started a lease on a new apartment, and will be moving there full time on Monday after some family leaves town. I’m feeling a bit guilty about leaving my parents, even though I know it’s for the best in terms of independence and building my own life again. I chose a place that was halfway between my office and my parents’ house, to still be able to look after them and help out. In the past, I visited them every Sunday unless I was out of town myself. I figure I will do at least that now, maybe an additional night or two a week depending on how they’re doing. I’m the last sibling left in the area to be able to check on them, as my oldest brother lives out of state and my other brother just had a baby. How can I best approach looking after my parents, while settling into my new place and making my own life again? That balance is something I would ideally want to get to soon. It feels a bit different now because when I moved away before, my parents were still fully able. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 2, 2023 Share Posted January 2, 2023 You seem very caring towards them. You also owe that same care to yourself so settle into your new place first. You cannot help anyone else if you’re not safe, secure and doing well. Balance will come soon visiting and enjoying time with them. Tell them if they need anything to call. Talk with them and don’t make going over a chore. It sounds like you do enjoy their company and support. They’ll open up to you and start showing you what they need the more comfortable they feel around you. Right now they must be concerned about you as well in your move. One step at a time. That’s what family is for. You play off of each other and be there for one another. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 4, 2023 Share Posted January 4, 2023 You already said you'll be visiting them twice a week, that sounds like a perfectly good plan. You also need to have your own life and shouldn't remain too tethered to them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mario_C Posted January 16, 2023 Share Posted January 16, 2023 Similar situation. It's important to let them know you're present in their lives, and weekend visits always help. Hopefully they don't give you much drama over you being an adult out in the world. Best of luck to you and your family. We could all use some. Link to post Share on other sites
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