pepperbird2 Posted January 2, 2023 Share Posted January 2, 2023 My dad passed away a few weeks ago. I’m glAd he’s out of pain, but I miss hi so much. he had been “ slipping “ for a while now, and it waS hard to watch. He had developed dementia, and he went from a tenured university professor with doctoral level degrees to someone who didn’t really know who he was anymore. I was able o stay with him, holding his hand, rubbing his back and just being there for him whenhe was leaving this world. he was my hero, and to me, the world is a sadder place without him. One of his former students set me condolences and said he was a good man who made a difference. maybe that’s the best epithet anyone could ask for. To have left the world a better place that when we found it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
6ix Posted January 7, 2023 Senior Moderators Share Posted January 7, 2023 @pepperbird2, I moved this thread to the Coping section and am very sorry for your loss. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 Sorry to hear that Pepperbird. It's nice that you were able to spend time with him and no doubt you were a great comfort to him during his illness. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 8, 2023 Share Posted January 8, 2023 (edited) I'm sorry to hear that your father passed away. It's nice that you had such a wonderful relationship with him and I'm sure he was proud to have such a caring daughter. ♥️ Edited January 8, 2023 by Alpacalia 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted January 8, 2023 Share Posted January 8, 2023 Having had friends/close relatives who struggle with losing their loved ones slowly to dementia , it's a lot to go through. I am glad you were able to spend some time with your Dad and bring comfort to him. I'm so sorry for your loss, Pepperbird. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 8, 2023 Share Posted January 8, 2023 I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 (edited) I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. Your dad sounded a very special guy. This is a time of shock and grief. Seeing a loved one die is a profound and incomprehensible experience. It takes a while for the emotional pain to ease. Some of it will never go and we live with it as a tribute to how much that person mattered to us. We keep them in our hearts. After I lost my dad and sister, I went into a bleak hole for months. I think it’s a natural reaction to a major loss. It feels like the ground is taken out from under you. The sadness and depression can last for a while. You will come through this, changed somewhat. He is there in your memory and I know you will cherish that memory. I wish I could ease the pain you are going through xx Edited January 14, 2023 by spiderowl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 So sorry Pepperbird. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my father almost 7 years ago. I had the honor of being there in the hospital room with him and my mother when he passed. He was spared from the alzheimers he had witnessed with his mother, a terrible 10 years of her wasting away mentally and physically. Losing him to cancer was heartbreaking but I think his experience losing his mother was harder. With both my father and my grandmother, I focus on all the happy years we had together, But there will always be times the loss brings me to tears ( such as this moment). Honestly, I don't think I would want it to be otherwise. I honor them by remembering all our happy times and what wonderful people they were. My tears and grief are for me, and my loss, and is testament to how important they were to me. The grief doesn't go away, but becomes part of who we are. At least for me, it increases my appreciation for the people in my life here and now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pepperbird2 Posted January 14, 2023 Author Share Posted January 14, 2023 2 hours ago, FMW said: I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my father almost 7 years ago. I had the honor of being there in the hospital room with him and my mother when he passed. He was spared from the alzheimers he had witnessed with his mother, a terrible 10 years of her wasting away mentally and physically. Losing him to cancer was heartbreaking but I think his experience losing his mother was harder. With both my father and my grandmother, I focus on all the happy years we had together, But there will always be times the loss brings me to tears ( such as this moment). Honestly, I don't think I would want it to be otherwise. I honor them by remembering all our happy times and what wonderful people they were. My tears and grief are for me, and my loss, and is testament to how important they were to me. The grief doesn't go away, but becomes part of who we are. At least for me, it increases my appreciation for the people in my life here and now. The day after he died, my younger daughter took me out for lunch and we walked along a woodland trail. It was a beautiful autumn day for the Maritimes, and we walked along the river. It was strange, but it felt like everything I saw,everything I heard seemed to have a piece of him in it. I can’t explain it better than that. i don’t know what happens when we leave this world, but I’d like to think he’s just “ hone from my sight” and he’s still with me, even if just as a memory. I hope you continue to find comfort in your happy memories. That’s what we’re left with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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