My ex-uncle gets so upset if people slip and call her "he" (what to do?)

[Pamela]

My uncle had a sex change over 15 years ago when he was in his early 40s. Even from the very beginning when she had only been a woman for a couple of months my grandparents were having the hardest time saying "she" and using her new name, Olivia which had formeley been Danny.

 

Olivia would get so mad at them if they made mistakes and hated bringing up the past. Now most of the family almost always calls her Olivia, but a few days ago my mom was visting my grandmother in the hosptial because she had had a major operation (this was her ex-mother-in-law who she still has a good relationship with) and she saw Olivia who was also visiting her mother.

 

Well Olivia asked her if she wanted to have a coffee when they were chaning the dressing, so my mom (hadn't having seen Olivia for years) said "sure". Well the first thing that Olivia brought up to my mom was a time years ago when she had accidentally said "he". Olivia wanted my mom to know she didn't appreciate being called "he" in public even though this incident had happened so long ago. My mom got really upset and told Olivia she had no problem with transexuals or gays, but Olivia kept insisting. Finally my mom just got up and said, "You've got a huge problem. I'm leaving!" and she threw her banana on the table and stormed out of the hospital.

 

I don't understand why Olivia is so touchy about this still.

 

One can't help slipping up the odd time. The really weird thing I don't understand about her is that after having the sex change she became a lesbian and she talks about men as if they are the lowest creatures on this earth.

[Tony T]

I promise that if I ever see Olivia, I will call her a her. But I'm sure glad she is a lesbian because if she ever made a pass at me I would call her a HE and kick him in the butt.

 

If she was going to like girls anyway, I don't understand why the sex change operation. I do hope she is enjoying her new sex.

[sparkle]

Your mom was right when she told him/her, "you've got a big problem". This Olivia person sounds pretty weird. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of this. It's his problem, not yours. Maybe he regrets having the sex change, that's why he's so bitter about it now, and cannot let go of the subject.

 

And if I ever saw him, sex change or not, he'd still be a "he" in my eyes.

[Bobby Dygytul]

lol

My uncle had a sex change over 15 years ago when he was in his early 40s. Even from the very beginning when she had only been a woman for a couple of months my grandparents were having the hardest time saying "she" and using her new name, Olivia which had formeley been Danny.

 

Olivia would get so mad at them if they made mistakes and hated bringing up the past. Now most of the family almost always calls her Olivia, but a few days ago my mom was visting my grandmother in the hosptial because she had had a major operation (this was her ex-mother-in-law who she still has a good relationship with) and she saw Olivia who was also visiting her mother. Well Olivia asked her if she wanted to have a coffee when they were chaning the dressing, so my mom (hadn't having seen Olivia for years) said "sure". Well the first thing that Olivia brought up to my mom was a time years ago when she had accidentally said "he". Olivia wanted my mom to know she didn't appreciate being called "he" in public even though this incident had happened so long ago. My mom got really upset and told Olivia she had no problem with transexuals or gays, but Olivia kept insisting. Finally my mom just got up and said, "You've got a huge problem. I'm leaving!" and she threw her banana on the table and stormed out of the hospital. I don't understand why Olivia is so touchy about this still. One can't help slipping up the odd time. The really weird thing I don't understand about her is that after having the sex change she became a lesbian and she talks about men as if they are the lowest creatures on this earth.

[Lisa]

My uncle had a sex change over 15 years ago when he was in his early 40s. Even from the very beginning when she had only been a woman for a couple of months my grandparents were having the hardest time saying "she" and using her new name, Olivia which had formeley been Danny.

 

Olivia would get so mad at them if they made mistakes and hated bringing up the past. Now most of the family almost always calls her Olivia, but a few days ago my mom was visting my grandmother in the hosptial because she had had a major operation (this was her ex-mother-in-law who she still has a good relationship with) and she saw Olivia who was also visiting her mother. Well Olivia asked her if she wanted to have a coffee when they were chaning the dressing, so my mom (hadn't having seen Olivia for years) said "sure". Well the first thing that Olivia brought up to my mom was a time years ago when she had accidentally said "he". Olivia wanted my mom to know she didn't appreciate being called "he" in public even though this incident had happened so long ago. My mom got really upset and told Olivia she had no problem with transexuals or gays, but Olivia kept insisting. Finally my mom just got up and said, "You've got a huge problem. I'm leaving!" and she threw her banana on the table and stormed out of the hospital. I don't understand why Olivia is so touchy about this still. One can't help slipping up the odd time. The really weird thing I don't understand about her is that after having the sex change she became a lesbian and she talks about men as if they are the lowest creatures on this earth.

People like your ex-uncle (let's call him/her a "shim") have ever right to screw up their lives and live a sick existence if they so choose. Its called freewill, and all of us have been given this gift in our lives. But what I cant stand is when these people choose to live their lives as freaks, and expect the rest of us to tolerate it. "Tolerance" is one of those oh so popular politcally correct words in today's society. WE also have freewill, and if us exercising our freewill means us having the right to disagree with,object to,or yes, even "hate" the lifestyles of others...then so be it. I said hate the lifestyles, not the person themselves. So my advice to you is.... Tell your uncle,aunt, female Lesbian wannabe family member to get over it. If its okay for shim to be mentally and emotionally confused, then why cant he/she be "tolerent" of you being confused in what proper etiqutte to use???? Good luck to ya (youre going to need it)

 

Lisa