soarer Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 The story goes... We were in an argument in which she was getting really frustrated and running off into a pretty unsafe place. She had also wanted to break things off with me. I had to pick her up a few times and some ppl saw this from far off. In the heat of the moment she also is so pissed she decides to call the police on me, seeing that i've done it to her so many times, just to calm her down. I get arrested and charged with assault and spend the nite in jail. I've been instructed to have no contact with her as a court order. The night it was in jail, she wrote me an email saying its over, etc etc etc. But the day after, it's a whole different story. She realizes the mistake she made by giving me up and the mistake of sending me to jail. All this time she's been emailing me during the court ordered no contact, talking through mutual friends to get me to contact her to show her i care about her. "tempting" me in a sense. She's been working hard to remove the court ordered no contact, and i'm ok with it cuz i don't want to go back to jail if i bump into her on the street, and i think it will be lifted in a few days, but i don't know what to do? She makes me happy when she's happy and makes me sad and angry when she is. But she's so erratic and sketchy. I'm lost..... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 You shouldn't be lost.. The writing is on the wall.. You both seem to be misfiring when together.. Some people aren't meant to be together and that sounds like you two. Anytime violence, the police , or court orders happen they should be awarnning to you that your relationship with her is TOXIC and will only get worse till the point where someone really does get hurt and does real jail time and/or incur attorney costs.. Obey the court order and do not have any contact with her Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 I agree with Art_Critic. But I have a feeling that you would be like this with everyone else. You need therapy to learn to control your temper. Regardless of what she writes you now, you hurt her physically and it wasn't the first time. You're not an angel either. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 You shouldn't be lost.. The writing is on the wall.. Speaking of which, did you write on any of the walls during your night in jail? Link to post Share on other sites
Author soarer Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 Let me clarify by saying, i did NOT strike her....ever. I carried her back to a safer place to continue talking. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 They can still use this against you if you picked her up against her will. And they did. NEVER do something like this in public, even though you may feel justified in doing so. It's better to walk away and cool off, then talk later when reason prevails. It takes a bit of emotion to whisk someone away like that, and you can only do so through use of force. Cops will nail you every time, so stop making excuses. In medieval times this was perfectly normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 You CARRIED her back to a safer place? What is she a toddler? I don't get this at all! I've never even heard of such a thing! I mean my H has carried me up the stairs (a la Scarlett O'Hara) but he's NEVER had to carry me to a "safter place" to talk to me. We just usually walk there together...I know that's weird but in my world I don't get carried anywhere other than bed! Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 They can still use this against you if you picked her up against her will. And they did. NEVER do something like this in public, even though you may feel justified in doing so. It's better to walk away and cool off, then talk later when reason prevails. It takes a bit of emotion to whisk someone away like that. If this isn't the understatement of the year! "Whisking" someone off means flying them to Paris for a weekend, not physically picking them up and moving them to another location! Sheesh! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Let me clarify by saying, i did NOT strike her....ever. I carried her back to a safer place to continue talking. Sorry I misinterpreted your post. It sounds like she has had traumatic experiences in the past where she didn't call the police, but should have so she is correcting the mistakes through you. In any case, for how long did you carry her? What was the dangerous place? I mean if she was going to fall from a building then okay... can you explain a littl emore? Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Sorry I misinterpreted your post. It sounds like she has had traumatic experiences in the past where she didn't call the police, but should have so she is correcting the mistakes through you. In any case, for how long did you carry her? What was the dangerous place? I mean if she was going to fall from a building then okay... can you explain a littl emore? You BETTER apologize RP or you'll get carried over to another thread! Link to post Share on other sites
Author soarer Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 In the heat of the argument she has tendencies to just run off. She's very independant but also naive. Sometimes, she'll run off at 4am to go home, a good 20 min walk through the city. She won't accept a ride from me, or take a cab. She says "i don't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing me get home safely" In this case, we were talking at the entrance of a forest trail just around dusk. I wouldn't leave anyone out there, it wouldn't be safe. I would especially NOT leave anyone i loved out there. There are times that i would have to grab her jacket to stop her from jumping out of a moving car. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 She says "i don't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing me get home safely" There are times that i would have to grab her jacket to stop her from jumping out of a moving car. I see. If her behavior is really that hazardous all the time then it's better for you to stay away from her in the future. Sounds to me like she needs someone with a heart of stone to treat her poorly so that she listens to him like a child. She would probably benefit from therapy, but she won't change that easily. Link to post Share on other sites
head/heels Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 mate, gotta get out of this relationship and find out why exactly you ended up in the relationship....and what you need to do so that it doenst happen again Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 She has problems if she used the Police to get back at you for something. End it now while you still have your freedom. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soarer Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 She got the court order dropped on me and we can now talk. We had a good long talk about everything. We've decided to stay as just friends. BUT we both recognize our deficiencies that have led us to this path. She realizes what she lost finally, not to take things for granted, her mood swings and letting go of the past. I've realized my problem with dealing with my anger, letting frustration get the best of me, that letting go is an esential part of any relationship and that i don't ever want to see the inside of a jail cell again. I hope that there is a possibility of maintaining a pleutonic friendship until we both learn to mature and fix our deficiencies, not for each other, but to repair them for ourselves. To make each of us better individuals, for each other, or someone else all together. Only time will tell... Link to post Share on other sites
Author soarer Posted January 27, 2006 Author Share Posted January 27, 2006 I'm crazy!!!! I got back with her after the whole incident. I guess i hoped that we would learn from this incident. I hoped that we would work things out and become closer. I still care for her deeply, but she agrivates me so much. For instance, today we got into a lil argument, nothing special. Then when i dropped her off home cuz i had to go to work, i tried to forget about the argument and i tried to be really nice to her, saying gbye and leaning in for a kiss. Then she says to me "Why r u being so nice? What's your angle? what bull**** are you trying to pull?" So i got angry and insulted again and got super pissed off at her. I was really trying to let things go. We end up full on fighting again outside of her house, she's constantly trying to walk away from the whole situation and i keep standing in her way demanding her to "take back the questions" She says no. it just pisses me off more, so instead of doing what i normally do and get even madder, i got in my car and said "i'm done" and drove off. She hasn't contacted me yet, i don't know if she fully understood what i meant by i'm done, actually, i don't even know what i meant by it. In the aftermath i know i'd miss her a lot if we actually broke up, but because of her uncompromising attitude that maybe we're not meant for each other. Looks like i'm constantly lost in my love life.... Link to post Share on other sites
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