Has she cheated?

[Lamarrh17]

I 43(m) suspect my wife 40(f) may have cheated at some point in our marriage. We’ve been married over 15 years. About 3 years ago, after some drinks and some dirty talk,  she admitted that about 2 years prior to that she made out with her boss at work (it was his last day). She initiated it and stopped it after about a minute as she thought they might get caught. 

She was adamant it didn’t mean anything and did it more than anything to tease him (as they were very flirty with each other) and as a going away present. I do believe her in that it didn’t mean anything at the time when she admitted it to me but at the time she actually kissed him I think she was maybe a little emotionally involved and got carried away.  To be honest I wasn’t really upset at the physical aspect (apparently she straddled him in a chair and he got quite handsy and felt her up a bit). I was more upset with the possibility she may have been emotionally attracted to someone and kept it from me. 

However, in two separate conversations since then I have doubts. The first one was a road trip with the family and we were talking about some friends of ours who were divorcing because of infidelity (and other obvious circumstances). She asked me if I had ever cheated which I soundly and calmly said no (I never have). I asked her the same question 3 times before she gave me a smart ass dirty look with a half hearted “no.”  Before I could get a better answer from her she quickly changed the topic by asking the kids something and that was that. But my bullshit detector went off a little.

The second incident was a few weeks ago. As I was getting ready for a shower we were talking about if it’s okay to tell someone their spouse is cheating (not sure how we got on this subject but not the point). She asked me if I had ever cheated on her and if so would I tell her. I said I had never cheated on her (which is true) and depends on the situation if I would tell her if I really had. Then I asked her the same question to which again she wouldn’t readily answer my question. So I got in the shower and asked her again and she came over and got really defensive and sternly said “I’ve never cheated on you. Okay?”  It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself she hadn’t. 

So? Thoughts? What’s the possibility she has cheated or may have done something more with her boss? Maybe it was something she did early on our marriage? Or am I reading way too much into this?

TLDR: my wife admitted to making out with another guy years ago but I’m not convinced by her saying she hasn’t cheated on me.

[S2B]

I don’t believe her. 
I would have her take a polygraph.

I believe she did way more with her boss. She may have also had other inappropriate situations with others throughout the years.

[GoldenR]

Well...you already know she's a liar bc SHE HAS CHEATED ON YOU when she made out with her boss. 

 

Polygraph. 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Lamarrh17 said:

I 43(m) suspect my wife 40(f) may have cheated at some point in our marriage. We’ve been  she straddled him in a chair and he got quite handsy and felt her up a bit). I was more upset with the possibility she may have been emotionally attracted to someone.

Unfortunately it's unclear exactly what your definition of "cheating" is. You claim you two discussed the flirtation and lap dances and kissing but this didn't bother you. 

[JTSW]

Oh she has definitely cheated on you, 100%.

All the classic signs are there.

She has done inappropriate things with her boss (I can guarantee that she has slept with him if she was willing to do the things you know about).

She is doing the classic projecting by asking YOU if YOU cheated.

Get's very defensive when asked the same question (classic cheater trait).

I would not trust this woman as far as I could throw her.