Have I lost this woman's interest

[Tunafish81]

So we met in Eharmony, planned a meeting Saturday, had a latte and chatted we are both child free and single with minimal fiends, both the same age (42) after we went for a walk I suggested and she accepted, we walked by the hospital I got diagnosed with MS and disclosed and she countered with saying she ha Reynauds disease (another neurological condition) we both have neurologists and that was interesting then we got back to the coffee shop and she suggested we go back to her place so I accepted. I met her cats and she shared a bunch of Addams family memorabilia and the whole time we were vibing. We both fascinated with the dark and creepy things it was fun. Then she said a migraine was coming on and she drove me back to my car exchanged a  good night. Wen I got home I texted as she asked me to. I said thanks for inviting me over and “ittyl” she reciprocated with a good night.

Sunday morning I did nothing and around 1:15 she said “hi” and she sent a picture of some migraine shades her sister brought her and she said “she thought to say hi” and it’s head hurts to me and that was end of conversation.

im thinking  the migraine ran her over and she was recovering by Monday at 3 I said “hi, how are feeling today?” 
 

then nothing…

i think this migraine really hit  her hard so I didn’t send anymore texts.

it’s now Thursday and I think I should send her something. 
 

any thoughts? 

[MsJayne]

That's a bit odd. Sounds like she liked you, she invited you to her house. There is the possibility that she's ill and doesn't feel up to any sort of socialising, but if that's the case she'll probably let you know.  I would definitely let her make next contact so you don't come across as needy.  If you don't hear from her and you feel up to a potential bit of rejection you could contact her in a couple of weeks and say Hi, but I always take no reply to a message as a message in itself and think it's best not to prolong the annoyance by providing another opportunity for the other person to ignore you. 

[Tunafish81]

12 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

That's a bit odd. Sounds like she liked you, she invited you to her house. There is the possibility that she's ill and doesn't feel up to any sort of socialising, but if that's the case she'll probably let you know.  I would definitely let her make next contact so you don't come across as needy.  If you don't hear from her and you feel up to a potential bit of rejection you could contact her in a couple of weeks and say Hi, but I always take no reply to a message as a message in itself and think it's best not to prolong the annoyance by providing another opportunity for the other person to ignore you. 

I think so too, I don’t know her situation with Reynauds disease either so I just sent a hug 🤗 emoji, she must be feeling like shut and avoiding screens. But ya I’ll keep dating others and reach out in a week or two.

the connection was unreal, we love the same s*** and agree on alot she initiated texting up to this point and I think she thought to say hi following sat evening on Sunday to let me know she’s interested and will be knocked out for a while so I know there was very high interest from the start from her, so I think a few fuvk ups will be overlooked. 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Tunafish81 said:

It's now Thursday and I think I should send her something. 

Yes, she seems interested so why not suggest another date? This way if she's interested in another date, you're moving forward and if not, you're not wasting time.

[glows]

It takes two and she’s not responding. No, I wouldn’t bother. 

Meet others. Your date sounds too long. First meet ups are meet and greets only. It seems strange to me she invited you in right away. Too much too soon is a mild red flag and automatic turn off personally. 

If she is interested she would respond of her own accord. I’m sure she knows you’re not going to ask her out if she’s in the throes of agony.

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, Tunafish81 said:

Sunday morning I did nothing and around 1:15 she said “hi” and she sent a picture of some migraine shades her sister brought her and she said “she thought to say hi” and it’s head hurts to me and that was end of conversation.

Did you not reply to this? 

[JTSW]

I get migraines and they put me out of action for 2 or 3 days.

This is confusing because she seemed to really like you.

I think it would be ok to send a text to ask how she is feeling. 

[Tunafish81]

5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Did you not reply to this? 

She abruptly ended the convo, I did reply, yes. Asked how she was she was in pain 

[Tunafish81]

5 hours ago, glows said:

It takes two and she’s not responding. No, I wouldn’t bother. 

Meet others. Your date sounds too long. First meet ups are meet and greets only. It seems strange to me she invited you in right away. Too much too soon is a mild red flag and automatic turn off personally. 

If she is interested she would respond of her own accord. I’m sure she knows you’re not going to ask her out if she’s in the throes of agony.

I felt it was strange to invite me up too so quickly and I feel that because I didn’t go in to kiss her she gave up now. I didn’t feel like i wanted to kiss her she made no physical moves to let me know she was ready, she never got close to me I don’t I just never made a move cause I felt like I didn’t feel it. I just met her and not sure as she made no physical signs of flirting at all. 

[ExpatInItaly]

12 minutes ago, Tunafish81 said:

She abruptly ended the convo, I did reply, yes. Asked how she was she was in pain 

And then you sent another message the following day? 

Or you waited a day to reply to her?

[Tunafish81]

5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

And then you sent another message the following day? 

Or you waited a day to reply to her?

I replied as soon as I saw it, she just stopped responding right away after. I think cause I didn’t go in for a kiss she is done with me or her headache was really bad. 

I just felt like I didn’t want to kiss her, she really never flirted and could of made it easier for me with a few physical signs 

[Versacehottie]

I don't think it's over just yet. I would recommend trying a bit more..

.Also maybe just my feeling but while it's nice to give some sympathy to her pain and illness stuff (especially since you can both understand the seriousness of anything that happens healthwise), I think it might help to stay on the stuff you both ("vibe")/have fun on and in common in a fun way--mainly because I think for a spark to be there, it might really help her to feel like an escape from her health problems (not too much focus on them) and where she is just seen as normal her---not a person with health issues....Hard to do I suppose if it is the topic of conversation but you can see how it can be a conservation killer and an excuse not to keep the conversation going at the same time.  Good luck!!!

[glows]

50 minutes ago, Tunafish81 said:

I felt it was strange to invite me up too so quickly and I feel that because I didn’t go in to kiss her she gave up now. I didn’t feel like i wanted to kiss her she made no physical moves to let me know she was ready, she never got close to me I don’t I just never made a move cause I felt like I didn’t feel it. I just met her and not sure as she made no physical signs of flirting at all. 

When was it when you felt she wanted you to kiss her? 

You didn’t feel it and that’s fine. Don’t do things you’re not comfortable with. 

[smackie9]

reach out and let her know you would like to see her again when she is feeling up to it. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Tunafish81 said:

. I think cause I didn’t go in for a kiss she is done with me 

Contact her and set up a date. It's a myth that you have to make a move on the first date.

If you are not attracted to her that's ok. Just don't ask her out again or explain that you're not a match.

[Lotsgoingon]

Yes, I'd reach out again. 

But I would NOT ask her how she's doing? When people are struggling, that's a terrible question to ask. 

No one wants to say, Well I'm doing terribly. The pain is still severe. V

Instead, just say, hoping you're doing better. You're passing on good wishes and feelings. You avoid the pressure of "are you doing better?"--which has a presumption that you should be doing better. Passing on good wishes is easy to receive and leaves her room to respond however she wants.

I'd also just say that you really enjoyed meeting her. 

After that, let go. 

[Alvi]

Tell her that you enjoyed meeting her and would like to see her again. Come up with the date/time/place if she says "Yes." Don't bother her again if you don't hear back from her again.

It could be anything, really, why she hasn't replied to you. Maybe she still feels sick, maybe she is dating others (multidating), maybe her ex is back in the picture, maybe she is no single. But yeah, give it another shot and see if she is receptive. 

11 hours ago, Tunafish81 said:

I felt it was strange to invite me up too so quickly and I feel that because I didn’t go in to kiss her she gave up now. I

Yes, it is a bit strange that she would invite you, a practical stranger, to her place on a first date. Not always, but more often than not, inviting someone to your place means sex. Do you think this is what she was after? Kind of weird that a woman would invite you in to meet her cats, 😉

[Tunafish81]

17 hours ago, Alvi said:

Tell her that you enjoyed meeting her and would like to see her again. Come up with the date/time/place if she says "Yes." Don't bother her again if you don't hear back from her again.

It could be anything, really, why she hasn't replied to you. Maybe she still feels sick, maybe she is dating others (multidating), maybe her ex is back in the picture, maybe she is no single. But yeah, give it another shot and see if she is receptive. 

Yes, it is a bit strange that she would invite you, a practical stranger, to her place on a first date. Not always, but more often than not, inviting someone to your place means sex. Do you think this is what she was after? Kind of weird that a woman would invite you in to meet her cats, 😉

She wanted to get laid, thinking now about it she feels rejected. Sometimes I just don’t feel that into someone to get in their pants. I’m still interested in our connection and vibe but I don’t sleep around. Not looking for a lay I’m looking for a quality woman. 

[Alvi]

50 minutes ago, Tunafish81 said:

She wanted to get laid, thinking now about it she feels rejected. Sometimes I just don’t feel that into someone to get in their pants. I’m still interested in our connection and vibe but I don’t sleep around. Not looking for a lay I’m looking for a quality woman. 

You've missed a bullet in that case. I would suggest dating other women. Let them know right away that you are looking for a serious relationship and that you like to take things slowly. 

[helloladies21]

On 1/12/2023 at 8:31 AM, Tunafish81 said:

I felt it was strange to invite me up too so quickly and I feel that because I didn’t go in to kiss her she gave up now. I didn’t feel like i wanted to kiss her she made no physical moves to let me know she was ready, she never got close to me I don’t I just never made a move cause I felt like I didn’t feel it. I just met her and not sure as she made no physical signs of flirting at all. 

Definitely not strange that she invited you up so soon. She liked you. And don't expect a girl to give you a sign that you should make your move. Lots of girls are too shy to do something like that and expect you to basically be a mind reader and do it yourself. With experience, you can gain intuition of when it's the right time to go in for the kiss and how far to proceed after it.

You have to be the one to lead with flirting, and getting close to her. It's on you. 

[Tunafish81]

19 minutes ago, helloladies21 said:

Definitely not strange that she invited you up so soon. She liked you. And don't expect a girl to give you a sign that you should make your move. Lots of girls are too shy to do something like that and expect you to basically be a mind reader and do it yourself. With experience, you can gain intuition of when it's the right time to go in for the kiss and how far to proceed after it.

You have to be the one to lead with flirting, and getting close to her. It's on 

 

yes, I just got turned off by a couple things she said so I held off 

[Versacehottie]

21 minutes ago, Tunafish81 said:

 

yes, I just got turned off by a couple things she said so I held off 

Well the question is then, are you just looking to WIN or NOT LOSE....or are you actually interested in pursuing someone who said things initially that are a turnoff?  It seems like if it were something that sort of stopped you cold on an evening or date with little to no history/bond to hold things together that it'd be a dealbreaker and you'd move on.