Should I use tinder for hookups? I don't know where else to find hookups

[Chloeflowers]

At the moment I just want to find a hot random guy and have a hookup or a few...I'm not college aged where at that age it would be easy to meet single guys. I would prefer to meet guys in real life-guys that I find attractive and is willing to have a hookup, but then again tinder might be my only option-everyone is looking for the same thing as I am , where as the cold approach-like at a store-is rare where I live. I live in a city that is considered to be the worst dating city in the u.s. I could go to a bar, but I have no one to go with and I feel weird going there alone. Also I think guys should work for it and not have it too easy when it comes to hit that. Then again, I can use tinder to swipe right only on the ones that I find attractive to have a hookup

Edited January 12, 2023 by Chloeflowers

[basil67]

15 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

 Also I think guys should work for it and not have it too easy when it comes to hit that.

The whole point of a hookup is that it IS easy.  The two of you don't have to go through the effort of dating or staying in contact - you just send them a message if you're horny and they will meet up if it's convenient.

If you're wanting a guy to make an effort, aim for a boyfriend.

Edited January 12, 2023 by basil67

[stillafool]

28 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

I live in a city that is considered to be the worst dating city in the u.s. I could go to a bar, but I have no one to go with and I feel weird going there alone. Also I think guys should work for it and not have it too easy when it comes to hit that. Then again, I can use tinder to swipe right only on the ones that I find attractive to have a hookup

You want a hot guy who will do random hookups with you but you want him to work for it in a city with the worst dating history?    Good luck with that.  If you're really good looking it might work for you; but most hot guys already have girls who want to hook up with them that they barely have to do anything for except show up. 

Edited January 12, 2023 by stillafool

[Chloeflowers]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

You want a hot guy who will do random hookups with you but you want him to work for it in a city with the worst dating history?    Good luck with that.  If you're really good looking it might work for you; but most hot guys already have girls who want to hook up with them that they barely have to do anything for except show up. 

So I should do tinder? I can pick what I what and they also swipe right its a match. Also its a variety of ages

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, Chloeflowers said:

So I should do tinder? I can pick what I what and they also swipe right its a match. Also its a variety of ages

That's up to you but are you willing to travel outside your city to meet these guys since your city is so bad for hookups?  

[Chloeflowers]

17 minutes ago, basil67 said:

The whole point of a hookup is that it IS easy.  The two of you don't have to go through the effort of dating or staying in contact - you just send them a message if you're horny and they will meet up if it's convenient.

If you're wanting a guy to make an effort, aim for a boyfriend.

What I meant is by having them work for it in real life-out in public or at a bar-they should hit on me and then I head to his place. But see at a bar its tricky because if I'm not attracted to the guy I'm not going to do that. I don't have my pick on the hot guy. 

[Chloeflowers]

16 minutes ago, stillafool said:

That's up to you but are you willing to travel outside your city to meet these guys since your city is so bad for hookups?  

Just meeting halfway is fine. 

[Alvi]

1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

So I should do tinder? I can pick what I what and they also swipe right its a match. Also its a variety of ages

Sure, why not. You are probably going to be bombarded with guys saying "Pick me, pick me" if you post that you are are only looking for a hookup. You get to pick and choose between them. But do meet and talk to them in a public place first before hooking up.  Better be safe than sorry. 

 

1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

I live in a city that is considered to be the worst dating city in the u.s

Why is that? Can't believe it is THAT difficult to find someone for just sex. All you need is to be a woman, lol. It may be difficult for a men to find someone but for a woman? No way. A guy friend of mine once said that a woman can be obese, have no job, have five kids by six different guys and she is still going to have an army of guys telling her how desirable she is if she posts that she is looking for sex. Finding the right one for a relationship is very difficult for many but how hard would it be to find someone for one night stand?

[Mrin]

Give Feeld a look. It is an app. 

Edited January 12, 2023 by Mrin

[glows]

I think you’re overthinking this. Go out and have fun, stay safe and limit your alcohol intake. Have a safe plan getting home and let a friend know where you are if you need to. 

Needing so desperately to have sex can be a turn off. Why not enjoy yourself and try not to feel so self-conscious and awkward. Maybe it takes a couple of tries to be yourself, so what. Again, play safe and stay sober. 

You can use an app but be patient with it as swiping can be tiresome. You can change the range of age and distance/radius on most apps should you choose to check it out so check your settings and change any defaults.

Edited January 12, 2023 by glows

[stillafool]

9 hours ago, Alvi said:

Why is that? Can't believe it is THAT difficult to find someone for just sex. All you need is to be a woman, lol. It may be difficult for a men to find someone but for a woman? No way. A guy friend of mine once said that a woman can be obese, have no job, have five kids by six different guys and she is still going to have an army of guys telling her how desirable she is if she posts that she is looking for sex. Finding the right one for a relationship is very difficult for many but how hard would it be to find someone for one night stand?

Yes I agreee it's easy for a woman to get free sex; but OP wants a "hot" guy.  That's not so easy for every woman as they have many options.

[mark clemson]

"Should" is an interesting word sometimes. Certainly hook-ups is/was the core original purpose of that app, so you wouldn't be "misusing" it if you were to do that. There seems to be a general consensus that  a) there are a lot of dysfunctional (and sometimes quite dysfunctional) people floating around in the online dating (OLD) world and  b) women interested in hookups get a LOT of interest. So, this may be more "work" and less fun than you are perhaps hoping. Could certainly still accomplish your purpose tho, I would suspect.

If you're looking for RL ways to meet people, you might consider Meet Ups as (at least where I'm located) there always seemed to be a certain % of single people who were there partly with the "side interest" of seeing if they could meet someone. I'd imagine that would include interest in hookups for some of them.

Generally anywhere you are with other people there is the potential to meet someone.

Edited January 12, 2023 by mark clemson

[Chloeflowers]

5 hours ago, mark clemson said:

"Should" is an interesting word sometimes. Certainly hook-ups is/was the core original purpose of that app, so you wouldn't be "misusing" it if you were to do that. There seems to be a general consensus that  a) there are a lot of dysfunctional (and sometimes quite dysfunctional) people floating around in the online dating (OLD) world and  b) women interested in hookups get a LOT of interest. So, this may be more "work" and less fun than you are perhaps hoping. Could certainly still accomplish your purpose tho, I would suspect.

If you're looking for RL ways to meet people, you might consider Meet Ups as (at least where I'm located) there always seemed to be a certain % of single people who were there partly with the "side interest" of seeing if they could meet someone. I'd imagine that would include interest in hookups for some of them.

Generally anywhere you are with other people there is the potential to meet someone.

Yeah, anywhere I "could" meet someone in real life, but problem is 9 times out of 10 -its always the guys that I'm NOT attracted to that approach me. It has to be a guy I'm attracted to -the hot guy. Not trying to sound like an azz or anything, but yeah, I have to be attracted to the guy for me to have sex. Its like that if it was the other way around. Guess I have to stick with tinder. 

[Chloeflowers]

8 hours ago, stillafool said:

Yes I agreee it's easy for a woman to get free sex; but OP wants a "hot" guy.  That's not so easy for every woman as they have many options.

yeah, the ones that approach me in real life are the ones I'm not sexually attracted to. 

[Weezy1973]

44 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

yeah, the ones that approach me in real life are the ones I'm not sexually attracted to. 

Try Tinder. Only swipe right on the guys you find attractive. Put you’re only looking for no strings attached sex. If you’re average looking or better you should get quite a few to pick from.

 

Or try masturbating. Easy, safe, cheap, orgasms. Seems like a good deal too.

[flaxcapacitor]

On 1/12/2023 at 12:38 PM, stillafool said:

Yes I agreee it's easy for a woman to get free sex; but OP wants a "hot" guy.  That's not so easy for every woman as they have many options.

That's a fair point... as much as is made of how easy it is for women to get sex vs men the reason for that is that the large number of 'undesirable' guys who still have the confidence to believe that women will form an orderly queue to sleep with them, especially when using OLD.

[Chloeflowers]

So, I signed up on tinder and was chatting with this guy-he was attractive-talked on snapchat, exchanged photos, we had plans to meet and hook up, but I just didn't have it in me to just meet up with a stranger on tinder for sex at his place or mine. I don't know, even meeting at a public place first and its really him, I still fear for my safely. What if I go to his place and 3 dudes jump out? Or he holds me captive for days? I've heard stories of this kind of thing happening. When hooking up with a stranger on an app-what is the best way? Would it be safer to get a hotel room? There are cameras and people around. 

[birdie_b]

So it looks like you’re stuck with people you already know and trust?

[Alpacalia]

Ask him if he's been to Burning Man.

If the answer is yes, pass.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

. What if I go to his place and 3 dudes jump out? Or he holds me captive for days? 

If you are this concerned for your safety and well-being, it may be best to reconsider if random hookups is the right approach for you. For example, what's wrong with a brief meeting for a coffee/drink, then deciding if you want to go out again?

[Chloeflowers]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

If you are this concerned for your safety and well-being, it may be best to reconsider if random hookups is the right approach for you. For example, what's wrong with a brief meeting for a coffee/drink, then deciding if you want to go out again?

I guess that he is still a random stranger off a dating app- even though meeting him for a drink at a public place he may seem alright-but going to his place afterward -can be risky...other places for hookups in public? Car? Parks? 

[Weezy1973]

So now it really does seem like masturbation might be your best option. Having so much anxiety about having sex with a stranger kind of makes it lose its appeal I’d imagine. Why so intent on a random hookup? If it’s just for a physical release masturbation should do the trick right?

[Chloeflowers]

43 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

So now it really does seem like masturbation might be your best option. Having so much anxiety about having sex with a stranger kind of makes it lose its appeal I’d imagine. Why so intent on a random hookup? If it’s just for a physical release masturbation should do the trick right?

Moreso the thought of meeting a stranger on a dating app. I would feel more comfortable going to a bar, having a guy approach me-only if I find him attractive and hooking up.

[Weezy1973]

4 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

Moreso the thought of meeting a stranger on a dating app. I would feel more comfortable going to a bar, having a guy approach me-only if I find him attractive and hooking up.

Yeah, but then I guess you’re stuck with the same probability as before. That 9 out of 10 guys you’re not going to find attractive. But that does mean 1 out of 10 you do find attractive. Did you at least manage to hook up with that 1 out of 10? If so it’s just a numbers game. Go to bars enough and eventually you’ll get a guy you’re attracted to approaching. 

[NuevoYorko]

I think that meeting in a bar would be more comfortable.  Sure, the guy could turn out to be psycho, like in that old movie "Looking For Mr. Goodbar."  But at least you can know if there is mutual attraction and probably sexual chemistry before ... the hatchet comes out.  😄