Should I use tinder for hookups? I don't know where else to find hookups

[NuevoYorko]

23 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

Why do men treat hookup women like crap in the first place? Do they view them as cheap stripper? So if I act like a prude will they respect me?

What do you mean by "cheap stripper"?  Is there something wrong with being a stripper?  Is a person like yourself who wants to have sex with somebody they don't know just because they are "hot" somehow superior to a stripper? 

Bottom line:  A hookup is nothing but sex.  It's like going to the store to buy a candy bar.  Your goal is to have sex.  If you like the sex, then it's a win.  The guy doesn't have to respect you.  I'm sure you're aware that many people have a low opinion of women who are "easy" sexually.  Who cares what they think.  As long as the hot guy does a good job on the sex, and doesn't make you feel badly in the process, what they think of you is frankly none of your business at all.

Just like it's none of your business what they guy at the counter where you bought your candy bar thought of you.

 

[Alpacalia]

4 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Why do men treat hookup women like crap in the first place? Do they view them as cheap stripper? So if I act like a prude will they respect me?

It’s likely that some men treat them disparagingly because they think it's accepted behavior in casual sexual encounters.

They simply brand it as ‘hook up.’

Honestly way more of it has to do with the level of guys you are going after than men in general. The men who WOULD treat you well do not arouse you in the context of casual sex.

Women just vetting less carefully for casual sex means an increased likelihood of getting an unsavory man, and horror stories are everywhere.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Why do men treat hookup women like crap in the first place? 

You could probably use any app you wish to meet men. The key is screening and logistics as far as demographics and distance.

What determines whether it's a hookup or not is how you go about it. Early sex doesn't necessarily rule out a relationship nor does it guarantee one.

How someone treats a casual hookup is more about their integrity. However going into it with a no-strings  mindset tends to depersonalize sex.

 

[stillafool]

14 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Why do men treat hookup women like crap in the first place? Do they view them as cheap stripper? So if I act like a prude will they respect me?

It's simply because they will have sex with hook up women but they do not respect them.  Don't even look for it, just look for safety.  You'd get more respect from an escort.

[mark clemson]

On 3/12/2023 at 6:45 PM, Chloeflowers said:

I "need to send him some sexy videos soon and right now." I told him that I will but can't at the moment. He then got angry and texted me that he doesn't want to hear excuses, that I should go to the bathroom and send him a video. I didn't respond. I got turned off and thought that was some red flags,

Yes, that's exactly what that is.

You seem to have some black/white thought patterns. There's a VAST middle ground between "acting like a stripper" and "being a prude".

I understand things are difficult in dating these days, but I get the impression that perhaps you don't have a good sense of what a healthy relationship is like?

Meet the person, talk, flirt a bit, enjoy each others' company AND sex (sooner or later) AND help/support each other "work out life's issues" once a relationship has been established.

Getting to know each other a bit is the start. Romance and sex escalate the relationship to the next stage. Committing to each other is next, then there are things like whether deciding to live together, marry, and even have kids (or not).

Although there can be issues at each step along the way AND you need to get along reasonably well together, it's not actually that complicated.

Consider looking for people to meet in "real life" who are reasonable and kind and supportive and live near you, instead of hoping to turn hookup site meetings into relationships and worrying about whatever d-bags who live 400 miles away are thinking.

[Alpacalia]

Do not worry about what someone you just want to crush thinks. If you want to hook up, just hook up. Just don't expect anything more from it. It is possible that a relationship could develop the first time around, but don't bet so heavily on your health so fragrantly.

[stillafool]

Is casual sex and a hook up the same thing?  I don't think so.  Casual sex is 2 people dating and sex happens with no commitment and not expecting one.  A hook up is people getting together for the soul purpose of sex.  Your title says nothing about dating in any context, just sex.  Men who see that you are only looking for hook ups will view you as horny as they are and treat you accordingly.  They may think respect is at the bottom of your list because some women like rough sex and all that that implies.  That's why you have to look for safety first when hooking up with complete strangers.  There's a lot of weird dos out there what will take sex much further than a hook up.

[flaxcapacitor]

I don't judge people who want hookups (I'm sure I'd do it if I was sexy, and I have a close male friend who has lots of hookups, as well as a few female friends who do it). Guys who have the right sort of desirability that women approach them for hookups though, they're a rare breed and when guys don't have to work hard to get sex it can sometimes make them unbelievably arrogant and disrespectful.

[Chloeflowers]

Well, I deleted my tinder and done with it. Do you think I have better chances of meeting single guys since I work in downtown? Not saying that meeting a quality of guy is better than meeting a random guy on an app, guys will be guys, but since working downtown, I noticed there is some eye candy with it being closer to bars that kind of thing.

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

Well, I deleted my tinder and done with it. Do you think I have better chances of meeting single guys since I work in downtown? Not saying that meeting a quality of guy is better than meeting a random guy on an app, guys will be guys, but since working downtown, I noticed there is some eye candy with it being closer to bars that kind of thing.

Sure.  If you're a hot babe and prepared to put yourself out there and make it known that you're looking for casual sex, I'm sure you'll get approached.  

[Alpacalia]

Yes, working in downtown does give you more chances of meeting single guys.

You'll have a lot more people to interact with and observe, which can give you more opportunities to meet someone. Additionally, bars and clubs tend to be a great place to meet someone and you can easily start a conversation with someone.

Just make sure to be safe and know your limits.