mycutepup75 Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 "OH darling, it's terrible that your phone went out for so many hours. Did you take it to the ER to get it resuscitated or did you perform CPR on it yourself? I'm sure you were sad and frustrated. I'm glad it's back to life" This was in response to not texting back for about 15 hours. Usually texts were responded within 5 hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 Seems antagonistic. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 4 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: This was in response to not texting back for about 15 hours. Usually texts were responded within 5 hours. How long have you been dating? Did he block you or was this after an argument? The sarcasm comes across as angry so it's clearly not meant to be funny. How has communication been in general? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 5 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: "OH darling, it's terrible that your phone went out for so many hours. Did you take it to the ER to get it resuscitated or did you perform CPR on it yourself? I'm sure you were sad and frustrated. I'm glad it's back to life" This was in response to not texting back for about 15 hours. Usually texts were responded within 5 hours. I can't see that gender would make any difference in how this is perceived. It's rude, sarcastic and not at all in line with how to solve problems in a positive manner. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 Nothing funny about that. It's rude. I hope you blocked them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mycutepup75 Posted January 13, 2023 Author Share Posted January 13, 2023 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: How long have you been dating? Did he block you or was this after an argument? The sarcasm comes across as angry so it's clearly not meant to be funny. How has communication been in general? This is a very new long distance relationship. I like the guy very much and his texting in general has been ok. But in the last few days it's been sporadic. I have the feelings that he wasn't that excited about texting more than once or twice a day but he wouldn't communicate with me clearly because he's 'Too nice'. So he told me his phone went dead and that was the reason he didn't respond to my text. I really meant the text to be playful and funny and I regret it came out wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 2 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: I really meant the text to be playful and funny and I regret it came out wrong. This is the risk of texting. I did a lot of texting early on in my relationship with my partner - when things came out wrong we would apologize and explain. “I’m sorry, that sounded better in my head. I was trying to be funny but in trying, I was just really hurt that I hadn’t heard from you for so long. Is everything ok?” 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 It sounds like he's got low interest if he's lying about his phone going out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 Yeah, if this is new and it’s very long distance, the fact that he’s not texting with you regularly says something. Whether he has lost interest or he has found people locally - it could be anything. Have you ever met in person? Or are you trying to build a relationship with this man long distance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mycutepup75 Posted January 13, 2023 Author Share Posted January 13, 2023 14 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Yeah, if this is new and it’s very long distance, the fact that he’s not texting with you regularly says something. Whether he has lost interest or he has found people locally - it could be anything. Have you ever met in person? Or are you trying to build a relationship with this man long distance? We met 3 times in the last 6 weeks. He showed a lot of interest at the beginning but I think our personality don't match. He's a really polite and nice man who I admire and respect. Whether we continue to date or not, I just want to return the respect and courtesy he has shown to me. But it looks like I have missed the opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mycutepup75 Posted January 13, 2023 Author Share Posted January 13, 2023 29 minutes ago, stillafool said: It sounds like he's got low interest if he's lying about his phone going out. It could be true that he has lost interest, which is completely fine with me except that I feel horrible for being rude to him. He texted me last night for a bit when he was at an airport for his connecting flight. Should I call him to apologize and also ask if he plans to continue to see me or should I sit and wait for him to reach out? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 3 minutes ago, mycutepup75 said: Should I call him to apologize and also ask if he plans to continue to see me or should I sit and wait for him to reach out? Is this the guy with ED? If so, no just let it fade out. If it's another guy I would wait for him to reach out to make sure he's interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mycutepup75 Posted January 13, 2023 Author Share Posted January 13, 2023 5 minutes ago, stillafool said: Is this the guy with ED? If so, no just let it fade out. If it's another guy I would wait for him to reach out to make sure he's interested. This is the guy with ED. He is so kind that I was going to sacrifice my sex life for him. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 (edited) You’re not on the same page with this one. Let him know it’s not a match and stop meeting up with him or texting him. When you start noticing yourself change, get more impatient and your reactions aren’t yourself or you aren’t acting like yourself or always feeling bad for some reason or other, stop doing the same things over and over. Edited January 13, 2023 by glows 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 30 minutes ago, mycutepup75 said: This is the guy with ED. He is so kind that I was going to sacrifice my sex life for him. Do you consider his lying about his phone being out for 15 hours so he didn't have to text you back as being kind? You say you're not sexually satisfied with this guy yet you are pursuing him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, mycutepup75 said: He's a really polite and nice man who I admire and respect. Whether we continue to date or not, I just want to return the respect and courtesy he has shown to me. But it looks like I have missed the opportunity. I'm confused. What "courtesy and respect" is being shown in that passive-aggressive statement? The way to show respect is to be straightforward, kind and honest. Tell him that you don't think you're a match, but you're happy you met him and enjoyed getting to know, or something similar. Edited January 13, 2023 by NuevoYorko 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 (edited) 16 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: "OH darling, it's terrible that your phone went out for so many hours. Did you take it to the ER to get it resuscitated or did you perform CPR on it yourself? I'm sure you were sad and frustrated. I'm glad it's back to life" This was in response to not texting back for about 15 hours. Usually texts were responded within 5 hours. Agree with others, it comes off extremely rude and hostile. Sarcasm can be funny sometimes, but NOT that. Re bolded, did you send this text when he/she did not respond in a timely fashion? Or did they send? If you sent, did they respond to it? My guess is no, hence this thread? If they sent, it's worthy of a block imo. Edited January 13, 2023 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 (edited) I know it’s not fair to say this, but you allowed yourself to feel anger over this situation, not him. Next time turn your phone off or hide it in the corner and choose to be in a good mood instead. Edited January 13, 2023 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 Your text in response to his absence sounds incredibly convoluted and unfunny. It oozes insecurity, and subtle anger. You did yourself no favor there, but mistakes happen. If this man is important to you, be honest, kind, and more authentic, especially when he does something that bothers you. I am not sure he is interested in something serious with you, though. I can’t tell from your post. So my advice could be moot altogether. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 2 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: He's a really polite and nice man WAS a really polite and nice man. He sounds like he might be a nice guy"... men who act really nice until things start to go bad in the relationship (or even seem to start to) at which point they turn nasty. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 Perhaps funny if you were watching a movie and it was a line from a psychopathic villain. Definitely NOT funny in real life. Yikes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 6 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: This is a very new long distance relationship. I like the guy very much and his texting in general has been ok. But in the last few days it's been sporadic. I have the feelings that he wasn't that excited about texting more than once or twice a day but he wouldn't communicate with me clearly because he's 'Too nice'. So he told me his phone went dead and that was the reason he didn't respond to my text. I really meant the text to be playful and funny and I regret it came out wrong. He is probably trying to slow fade on you for whatever reason. 17 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: "OH darling, it's terrible that your phone went out for so many hours. Did you take it to the ER to get it resuscitated or did you perform CPR on it yourself? I'm sure you were sad and frustrated. I'm glad it's back to life" Oh, wow. That is one very angry message. What I have learned in my life is that there absolutely no need to call anybody on his or her crap, which is what you did essentially. But the fact is, that you hardly know this guy so all you can do is to step back and to observe his behavior. Getting angry and sarcastic is not going to do you any good in a long run. Too much stress for you. Especially if a guy is already one foot out of the relationship. He is either not going care or he might actually be relieved if you end things yourself. If you at the point where you find yourself hurt by someone's actions (or inactions), take a few deep breath, put your phone away and go do something else to clear your head (like going for a walk). When you come back, decide how much this guy worth to you. And if you come to the conclusion that not that much and there are other issues as well, end things politely. 2 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: This is the guy with ED. He is so kind that I was going to sacrifice my sex life for him. Huh? What is that all about? Didn't read your last thread but you I imagine your best match is a guy, with whom you don't have to sacrifice your sex desires or anything else in your life. 3 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: He's a really polite and nice man who I admire and respect What is your definition of a nice man? What made him so nice till he was no longer so nice? Nice people don't make passive aggressive moves by slow fading. His actions are not very nice, what do you thing? 3 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: It could be true that he has lost interest, which is completely fine with me except that I feel horrible for being rude to him. He texted me last night for a bit when he was at an airport for his connecting flight. Should I call him to apologize and also ask if he plans to continue to see me or should I sit and wait for him to reach out? No, there two of you are not that compatible. Long distance, lack of sex, him starting to slow fade on you, you getting angry and frustrated at him, etc... You could apologize for getting frustrated but do you expect that he is going to understand that his actions caused your frustrations? Do you truly believe that he is going to understand and actually appreciate all the sacrifices that you were willing to make for him? No, better to end things politely. And it's only been 3 dates and so much drama already! Holly Molly! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: He is so kind that I was going to sacrifice my sex life for him. This is just a terrible way to enter a new relationship. I would let this go… find someone who is better suited to you. Edited January 13, 2023 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 It's neither funny or insulting, it's just demanding. Having a mobile 'phone doesn't automatically mean you're at other people's disposal 24/7. When someone doesn't answer your texts immediately, or within the time frame that you expect, (demand), it's their way of letting you know that you're being overbearing and they want you to back off. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 When you find yourself feeling disappointment to such a degree that your responses are heated that's a good time to take pause and reflect. It's a cue that something is off balance with the dynamic. Liking a guy is scary, especially when the relationship is in the early stages and you’re not quite sure where he stands or if he’s on the same page as you. So, your response to him I surmise is really about fear moreso then anything else. And if he does fade into the texting abyss never to be heard from again, then whatever! You're freed up to explore someone more suited to you. And that's so much better! Too much investment into the outcome, means too much invested in the future. Three dates in and you're already talking about making "sacrifices". Ninja, please. 😉 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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