Author mycutepup75 Posted January 14, 2023 Author Share Posted January 14, 2023 10 hours ago, Alpacalia said: When you find yourself feeling disappointment to such a degree that your responses are heated that's a good time to take pause and reflect. It's a cue that something is off balance with the dynamic. Liking a guy is scary, especially when the relationship is in the early stages and you’re not quite sure where he stands or if he’s on the same page as you. So, your response to him I surmise is really about fear moreso then anything else. And if he does fade into the texting abyss never to be heard from again, then whatever! You're freed up to explore someone more suited to you. And that's so much better! Too much investment into the outcome, means too much invested in the future. Three dates in and you're already talking about making "sacrifices". Ninja, please. 😉 I am loving your comment!!! He is back into texting but I am in no mood to text. My feeling of closeness that I once felt for him is gone at the moment. I think I am going to text him when I feel like it. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 22 minutes ago, mycutepup75 said: I am loving your comment!!! He is back into texting but I am in no mood to text. My feeling of closeness that I once felt for him is gone at the moment. I think I am going to text him when I feel like it. So you're still punishing him for his tardy response the other day? Please. Just end this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mycutepup75 Posted January 14, 2023 Author Share Posted January 14, 2023 26 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: So you're still punishing him for his tardy response the other day? Please. Just end this. I'm not punishing him, I'm just waiting for the feelings to come back (hopefully) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 17 minutes ago, mycutepup75 said: I'm not punishing him, I'm just waiting for the feelings to come back (hopefully) Except it just looks like game playing. Alternately, have you considered that lack of interest is one of the reasons why he may not have been messaging you? Just end it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 1 hour ago, mycutepup75 said: . I think I am going to text him when I feel like it. Sorry this is happening, but it's a lot of drama for someone long distance who you barely know and already resent as well as feel disappointed about because of his ED. Consider freeing yourself for a man who's more compatible, sexually satisfying and communicative. Why do this to yourself when you have local options? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mycutepup75 Posted January 14, 2023 Author Share Posted January 14, 2023 20 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this is happening, but it's a lot of drama for someone long distance who you barely know and already resent as well as feel disappointed about because of his ED. Consider freeing yourself for a man who's more compatible, sexually satisfying and communicative. Why do this to yourself when you have local options? I'll get there.....it's a process. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 You may be falling into the trap a lot of people do often: I feel this way so I just can’t let go. That’s not what letting go means. It’s making a conscious decision, doing what you know you have to do, ending it or blocking, and then taking that space and breather to heal. Try avoiding being too passive waiting for feelings to go away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 6 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: I'll get there.....it's a process. It is not necessarily all about "FEELINGS." We have intellectual functions at our disposal. You say you're waiting for some specific feelings to wash over you before you will return his text ... that is game playing. Generally we respond to texts because we have something we want or need to communicate or because of etiquette. You already blasted him out of the water with the angry and weird attack based on his tardiness to text you. You are absolutely not OK with his potential to satisfy you sexually. And you are messing around. If you're over 18 years old - just say goodbye and put an end to this. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. It's the way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 7 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: I'll get there.....it's a process. It’s not a process… it’s a decision. It’s a decision to invest in relationships that are going to bring you joy and not to waste your time playing games with people who are not interested/not going to meet your needs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 13 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: I am loving your comment!!! Awww, gee. Many thanks! 14 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: I am loving your comment!!! He is back into texting but I am in no mood to text. My feeling of closeness that I once felt for him is gone at the moment. I think I am going to text him when I feel like it. I get that you're feeling frustrated and even if his actions seem petty by not responding back for several hours, refuse the impulse to play games. Not when the goal is to establish a natural and fluid flow of communication that reflects mutual respect for each other. I wouldn't really worry if he misses a message or forgets to text back once. If he has a habit of leaving you waiting for days at a time, a different picture emerges. Whether they're busy, not interested, it's all the same at the end of the day. If you find someone attractive or feel passionately about them, it's your decision as much as theirs to become involved. The decision to move forward isn't purely theirs. It’s yours, too! Putting that aside, how do you feel about dating with ED? There are some women who, no matter how much we know about ED, seem to be prone to blaming themselves first. It is then that reality sets in, and you observe the way he reacts to the situation afterward. With disclosure, it could be just fine. Relationships and sex are about the brain as well as the body. Likewise, they are about building trust and caring, and revealing your vulnerabilities is a part of that. It is possible to compensate, at least in the short-term, until you discover some other things about each other that may make the relationship impossible permanently. Or not. There is also a matter of your personalities not meshing (which you mention). The thing that keeps you going is what motivates you to do what you do. So, what's up with that? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 Why are you doing this? You have said that your personalities don't mesh, and that you need a penis. And now you're acting very strangely. You say he's nice and polite. The world is full of nice and polite men. Some of them will be able to meet your sexual needs and also have personalities that mesh with yours. Find them. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 23 hours ago, mycutepup75 said: I'll get there.....it's a process. Is it because there are no other takers? If so, wasting time on this dead end is keeping you from getting out there and finding someone more suitable. Link to post Share on other sites
Akashsingh Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 I would find it insulting and more than that just weird. I would question the state of mental health of a potential partner that responds like this. it would be non serious and childish. Not at all funny. Link to post Share on other sites
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