Lou1973 Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 (edited) How is it possible that he is receiving some of my text messages on his phone but then claims he hasn't heard from me and hasn't received my last lot of texts? I've tested my phone and I'm receiving texts from other people and they are getting mine no problem. I'm starting to think he is playing a game here, so weird that after 2 weeks of chat where there were no issues with texts that all of a sudden there is 🤷♀️ Also weird that after 2 weeks (he knew right from the get go I was a single parent) that he decides on the day of our scheduled date on Tuesday morning to bring up my future ongoing availability as a concern completely mucking up our first date pre made plans for that evening then doing a 360 and trying to keep the plans after telling me he feels sad now and then not responding to my message of "so we are still on for tonight then". It put me in such a position where I sent a couple of messages through out that day saying I was looking forward to meeting up with him that evening.... No response. At 5pm I call him, it goes to voice mail so I leave a message stating that I am getting ready, am a bit concerned that I haven't received any replies in the day after his last one but I will be leaving at 6pm to drive to where we are meeting. I got crickets. So at 5.45pm I'm all dressed looking pretty and ready to leave by 6pm so I send him another text stating that if I don't hear from him by 6pm I am actually just going to go home as I need some sort of confirmation.... Crickets to that too. Thursday morning he calls me and I miss his call because I'm at work. I message him 10 mins later to ask if he accidentally called me and lo and behold he replies back via text stating he was calling to see why he never heard back from me on Tuesday. I responded by saying that I had sent multiple texts and even left a voicemail on the day of our date. He texts back saying he never heard from me. (Funny how at this point he is getting my texts no problem, scratching my head here). I text back with screenshots from Tuesday to prove I had indeed sent texts to him and then sent a couple more asking him if he got those and if he just got the screenshots I sent and guess what people...... Crickets again. [What] is going on here?? 🤦♀️🤷♀️ Edited January 14, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 Who is this person? 1 hour ago, Lou1973 said: mucking up our first date pre made plans for that evening Have you not met him before? If not, I wouldn't bother trying again. There's no way of knowing if he is lying but it's too difficult to be in touch with him. Next. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 What's going on is that you're giving a flake far too many chances. How many times does he have to show you that he's a flake? You really should have cut him off when he said he was unsure about the kids on the eve of your date. And then you should have cut him off when he didn't respond to your texts confirming the date. And then you should have cut it off again when he accused you of not messaging prior to the date. Just block him. And next time, don't give so many chances to a guy 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lou1973 Posted January 14, 2023 Author Share Posted January 14, 2023 (edited) I met him on a dating site, we chatted for 2 weeks. After a few days of chatting he asked me on a date and we were supposed to meet. We had locked in a place and time. It was supposed to be our first date. Edited January 14, 2023 by Lou1973 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 2 minutes ago, Lou1973 said: It was supposed to be our first date Eh, I would write this guy off. 1 hour ago, Lou1973 said: he decides on the day of our scheduled date on Tuesday morning to bring up my future ongoing availability as a concern completely mucking up our first date pre made plans He was already lookiing for a way to wiggle out of the date here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 5 minutes ago, Lou1973 said: I met him on a dating site, we chatted for 2 weeks. After a few days of chatting he asked me on a date and we were supposed to meet. We had locked in a place and time. It was supposed to be our first date. Indeed. And when he started expressing doubts and being flaky, you should have walked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 (edited) Agree with others. Total flake. Probably never had any intention of meeting you. OP, if you're gonna do on-line dating, spend some time fine tuning your BS meter. This bozo was playing you all the way. Why? Who the hell knows, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry. Edited January 14, 2023 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 6 hours ago, Lou1973 said: . After a few days of chatting he asked me on a date and we were supposed to meet. Unfortunately this seems like a scammer or catfish. Anyone who won't meet is a red flag. Delete and block him. He had no intention of meeting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 2 weeks chatting before meeting was your first red flag. He never intended to meeting you, he's just an attention seeker. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 8 hours ago, Lou1973 said: I met him on a dating site, we chatted for 2 weeks. After a few days of chatting he asked me on a date and we were supposed to meet. We had locked in a place and time. It was supposed to be our first date. Try to arrange a date within the first few days of matching, at least within one week. If someone can’t make it they’re not prepared to meet or date anyone. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 (edited) OP, I actually don't think chatting for two weeks was bad. People are so busy these days, he/she may he traveling for work, anything really. My hubs and I chatted for nearly two weeks before meeting. I know couples who chatted longer, so I think a little flexibility about that is fine. You don't want to come off too rigid and unbending. To me, whats quoted below stood out and when a man starts in with that before meeting and you get a bad vibe, do not continue texting or calling, simply ignore. And next him. Block him if you want, I never bothered. I got a chuckle from reading his future messages trying to scramble out of his stupid game, so I chose to simply ignore. But that's just me, many people block these days, I found it unnecessary. in any event, learn to read people (men) better, know when they're playing a game and listen to your own gut. You wasted a lot of time and energy getting ready, texting, driving to the restaurant, texting, texting, texting that could have been avoided if you read him correctly (that he was a phony). Anyway great lesson learned for next time. 10 hours ago, Lou1973 said: Also weird that after 2 weeks (he knew right from the get go I was a single parent) that he decides on the day of our scheduled date on Tuesday morning to bring up my future ongoing availability as a concern completely mucking up our first date pre made plans for that evening then doing a 360 and trying to keep the plans after telling me he feels sad now and then not responding to my message of "so we are still on for tonight then". Edited January 14, 2023 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 I suppose it's possible that he's telling the truth and his phone was malfunctioning, but it's unlikely. I don't believe it. I would be done with this guy and not waste another minute of my time on this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 I'd dump him ... sounds like he's just stringing you along. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 Guys don't respond because they don't want to...the first time was your cue to dump this chump. Have to remember you are an option in a sea of many opportunities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 Is he lying? Yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 22 hours ago, Lou1973 said: Also weird that after 2 weeks (he knew right from the get go I was a single parent) that he decides on the day of our scheduled date on Tuesday morning to bring up my future ongoing availability as a concern completely mucking up our first date pre made plans for that evening then doing a 360 and trying to keep the plans after telling me he feels sad now and then not responding to my message of "so we are still on for tonight then". You should have wished him well after he said that he is uncomfortable with you being a single parent. Don't waste your time and energy on the people who are not a good match from the get go. If he hasn't replied to your message, that means that he is not interested. For whatever reason he changed his mind. The reasons don't really matter. All it means that he is not interested. You can safely assume that the date is off since there is no response. No response is a response in fact. This is perfect time to make other evening plans. 22 hours ago, Lou1973 said: It put me in such a position where I sent a couple of messages through out that day saying I was looking forward to meeting up with him that evening.... No response. At 5pm I call him, it goes to voice mail so I leave a message stating that I am getting ready, am a bit concerned that I haven't received any replies in the day after his last one but I will be leaving at 6pm to drive to where we are meeting. I got crickets. So at 5.45pm I'm all dressed looking pretty and ready to leave by 6pm so I send him another text stating that if I don't hear from him by 6pm I am actually just going to go home as I need some sort of confirmation.... Crickets to that too. Wow, wow. This is way too excessive. How many messages and phone calls are we talking about here. Since you haven't heard anything from him by this point you should assume that the date is officially off. Don't demean yourself with any additional messages and phonecalls. Why did you drive to the place of the meeting if you haven't heard anything from him? 22 hours ago, Lou1973 said: hursday morning he calls me and I miss his call because I'm at work. I message him 10 mins later to ask if he accidentally called me and lo and behold he replies back via text stating he was calling to see why he never heard back from me on Tuesday. I responded by saying that I had sent multiple texts and even left a voicemail on the day of our date. He texts back saying he never heard from me. (Funny how at this point he is getting my texts no problem, scratching my head here). Flakes come back sooner or later only to flake on you again. Why haven't you blocked him by this point? For all you know, he is a scammer, catfish, a timewaster, married/partnered, or whatever. Maybe he went out with another woman. Who knows, who really cares. Next time, if it happens to you, delete and block. End of story. 22 hours ago, Lou1973 said: I text back with screenshots from Tuesday to prove I had indeed sent texts to him and then sent a couple more asking him if he got those and if he just got the screenshots I sent and guess what people...... Crickets again. Why bother? You are putting way more though and energy into this than needed. Well, sorry to say, but this is pretty much what you get from a flake and a timewaster. He didn't appreciate you calling him on his crap I am guessing. 22 hours ago, Lou1973 said: [What] is going on here?? You are wasting your time and energy on a person who is not interested in you. He may come again at some point. If it happens, it is not going to be because he is interested in you. It is going to be because there are no other option at the moment for him. Seriously, don't engage with him any further. Block and move on. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 Yes, he's lying about not getting your messages. He was setting things up to be a problem/concern (as you mentioned) from before the date, trying to mess things up. Then he "didn't get your messages." (Come on...) He has been trying to back out of this. It doesn't even matter why. He's a chicken and avoidant. Move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted January 16, 2023 Share Posted January 16, 2023 On 1/14/2023 at 7:25 AM, Lou1973 said: Thursday morning he calls me and I miss his call because I'm at work. I message him 10 mins later to ask if he accidentally called me and lo and behold he replies back via text stating he was calling to see why he never heard back from me on Tuesday. I responded by saying that I had sent multiple texts and even left a voicemail on the day of our date. He texts back saying he never heard from me. (Funny how at this point he is getting my texts no problem, scratching my head here). This guy is just toying with you. Your average guy who lost interest in meeting would have come up with some lame excuse then completely disappeared. Someone who wanted to meet you would have showed up or at the very least, would have responded to your voicemail if indeed he hadn't received your messages. This guy just wants to play mind games. He gets a kick out of confusing you and drawing you into some kind of pointless conflict. If you continue interacting with him, he will wear you down to the point where your self-esteem is low. I have no idea why you're continuing to engage with him, especialIy given that he's already indicated he's not excited about dating a single parent. I hope it's just a case of extended boredom on your part. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 16, 2023 Share Posted January 16, 2023 Ah he's full of crap. He tried to sabotage your first date then ignored you when you told him you were still going. "Conveniently", the morning after this date he claims he didn't get your msgs (total BS). Don't waste anymore of your time on him. Don't message or call again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted January 16, 2023 Share Posted January 16, 2023 For all you know, this guy may not actually be single. There are plenty of married/attached guys who populate dating sites. No, they don't actually meet anybody in person. They either don't ask women to meet or may either cancel a date last minute or may not show up at all. They use dating sites to either boost their ego or to wet their toes or to see what their options are. Anyway, just block him if you haven't done so already and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 16, 2023 Share Posted January 16, 2023 15 hours ago, Acacia98 said: This guy just wants to play mind games. He gets a kick out of confusing you and drawing you into some kind of pointless conflict. He probably plays this game with a slew of women online. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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