xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 So I noticed an ex from years ago was dating some chick on Instagram, never thought twice about it (I just saw her name/face since he added pictures with her). Anyways a little while she randomly added me on LinkedIn. I didn't think twice about this and assumed she was just following everyone her BF was following to get more followers (people always do that to reach the 500 count) and dismissed it as that. Anyways today she popped up on my homepage (this is months after she added me) and I noticed she only has 97 connections.... so it's not like she was adding randoms to get a higher connection count.... Does this mean she knows who I am or heard something about me/him or did he mention me? I just find it sus now because it's not like she's the type to add randoms and specifically chose to add/follow me (my account is profile btw) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 She's probably got issues with him having exes. Un-link her and be done with it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 11 minutes ago, basil67 said: She's probably got issues with him having exes. Un-link her and be done with it. I had her for a long time now and I recently noticed that it's most likely not a random add (just to get more connections) like I once thought it was. If she did have bad intentions wouldn't she have acted upon them? I feel like he said horrible things about me (which he does to others all the time) but she probably noticed how he still has me on Linkedin and Instagram (always likes my pics too) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 One can be weird about exes and not necessarily have bad intentions. Assuming she hasn't followed you because you're in the same industry, I'd bet she's keeping tabs on all his exes. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 1 hour ago, xforeverlove30 said: )Anyways a little while she randomly added me on LinkedIn Make sure you reset all your social media privacy settings so that only people you know have access to your content. LinkedIn is for people you know professionally and academically. It's not to keep tabs on exes. Delete and block anyone who does not fit that criteria. No one can "randomly add you on LinkedIn", you would have to go out of your way to accept the invitation to connect. It time to delete and block your ex and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 It was never random. She was rightfully uncomfortable with her new BF staying connected to his EX so she linked with you too in order to keep an eye on the interactions between you & him. Disconnect from both of them on all platforms. Problem solved. Especially with Linked In. There is no scenario where she will be a professional asset. You don't even know each other. If anything she has motive to sabotage you. Stay clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 44 minutes ago, basil67 said: One can be weird about exes and not necessarily have bad intentions. Assuming she hasn't followed you because you're in the same industry, I'd bet she's keeping tabs on all his exes. It gets even weirder... I just noticed that HE blocked me on LinkedIN out of nowhere (his account is still up when I search it on private bowser but he is no longer found on my list of connections) WTH. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 (edited) It's not weird that your has blocked you on LinkedIN. Very likely she's had a word to him about being uncomfortable about it and he cares enough about her feelings to remove you from his LinkedIN. I think that @d0nnivain is onto something - I didn't realise that you were still connected to him. Edited March 25, 2021 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 7 minutes ago, xforeverlove30 said: It gets even weirder... I just noticed that HE blocked me on LinkedIN out of nowhere It "gets weirder" because you are stalking your ex and his people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 (edited) 32 minutes ago, basil67 said: It's not weird that your has blocked you on LinkedIN. Very likely she's had a word to him about being uncomfortable about it and he cares enough about her feelings to remove you from his LinkedIN. I think that @d0nnivain is onto something - I didn't realise that you were still connected to him. yeah I even had him on Instagram now for so many years but he deleted his account (my friend told me as well) and another thing is that tho he blocked me recently on LinkedIn he did randomly unblock me on Facebook (this is several years later too meaning he went out of his way to do it, instead of just forgetting about it and leaving it as is). So if this ALL happened at the same time. It's reasonable to assume she made him block me (and probably others) on LinkedIn and then fed up with her he decided to deactivate his Instagram (and whatever other social medias). Than after he blocked me on LinkedIn (perhaps on her request) she follows me to probably keep tabs and see if he ever ends up adding me back. Now he has no connections to me so perhaps he went on FaceBook and decided to unblock (I'm talking 5+ years later) cause it's the only way he can low key keep tabs. So I went and checked the connection timelines and it appears that she added me 7 months ago and I recall around that time (July 2020) my friend and I were discussing ALL my exes and we both noticed how that ex's Insta was gone and figured he deleted (curious I searched it on my finsta account and he doesn't have it anymore) and also around that time he randomly started appearing in the "friends you may know" section on FaceBook (I was surprised he'd unblock me so many years later). Edited March 25, 2021 by xforeverlove30 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 No the weird part is that you seem to insisting on maintaining a connection with an EX. It's unhealthy. Disconnect from him & her on all platforms. If there comes a time when you are required to interact with the EX because your professional paths cross, be gracious but that is the end of things. She is absolutely keeping tabs on you so just block her & be done with the whole thing. Your EX is your past. Leave him there for your own peace of mind & to get rid of his present GF Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 3 minutes ago, xforeverlove30 said: It's reasonable to assume she made him block me (and probably others) on LinkedIn and then fed up with her he decided to deactivate his Instagram Hang on, you've got some baggage going on here. Have you still got a thing for him? If not, why would you assume that he was fed up, rather than doing it out of respect? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: If not, why would you assume that he was fed up, rather than doing it out of respect? He completely deactivated/deleted his Instagram (around the time I mentioned above) and I am assuming she would've kept nagging him about every other woman and all his other exes (not just me) because he could've simply blocked me and been done with it if I was just the problem. If she did have a huge problem with him staying connected to me and he was doing all this out of respect than why on earth would he go out of his way to unblock me on FaceBook and several years later too. If anything he should've kept me blocked especially out of respect for her (if that was the case). And I do not have feelings for him I JUST noted this observation and I am trying to figure out what's (perhaps) going on. I always thought for this whole time (7 months+) that she added me simply because she wanted more connections and perhaps was adding people from her BF's page just to reach that 500+ connection mark. Edited March 25, 2021 by xforeverlove30 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 But why are you assuming negative (nagging) stuff about her than assume positive (he felt it was time to cut off exes)? Either could easily be true. I think you're imagining the story to reflect how you want it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 How long were you dating and when did you break up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 Just now, basil67 said: I think you're imagining the story to reflect how you want it to be. I mean why else would he delete his entire Instagram rather than simply blocking me? Either way, there's just a lot of weird factors in this: He randomly blocking and she randomly adding on LinkedIn He deleting Instagram He unblocking me on Facebook (6 years later) which implies he most likely went out of his way to do this Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 Perhaps he was spending far too much time masturbating to Insta models? Deleting social media can sometimes be a very positive move. Just get rid of him on all your social media and be done with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 Who broke up with who? Did you dump him or did he dump you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 Is it this guy? If so, you're still very emotionally invested in him, which explains you saying mean things about his girlfriend. Block him on everything and do proper No Contact to get over him once and for all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: How long were you dating and when did you break up? This is kind of a messy situation so I'll explain the time line: In 2014 we went separate ways but still kept talking (really toxic) until he blocked me (Facebook & Instagram) in early 2015 Than randomly in mid-2016 he starts talking to me in person. I was sitting down studying in the library and I guess he saw me there than he randomly comes up to me and puts a coffee on my desk and tells me "I got this for you" and leaves it on my desk... (I mean I guess it was kind of his way of making amends but nonetheless I poured it out) Than in late 2016 he unblocks me on Instagram than asks me how I'm doing and such. Then he kept liking all the pictures I'd post and I'd like them back. We had each other on Instagram since than and we both completely moved on with our lives (I mean we'd see each other in person but NBD). In July 2020 both my friend and I noticed him going MIA on Instagram (and I double checked and he doesn't have it anymore right now either) In July 2020 she added me on LinkedIn, I didn't think twice and accepted it thinking she just wanted more connections Around this time I saw that he unblocked me on FaceBook since he started to appear on my "people you may know" list Now (today) I came across her LinkedIn on my homepage and noticed she only has 97 connections which means she specifically chose to add me and it wasn't just a random add (I don't think) and also today I noticed that he blocked me on LinkedIn (IDK when he did it) Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 Just now, basil67 said: Is it this guy? If so, you're still very emotionally invested in him, which explains you saying mean things about his girlfriend. Block him on everything and do proper No Contact to get over him once and for all. LOL NO actually the funny thing about this guy (the one from the other post). After this I completely ignored him then a month ago he kept liking my old Instagram pictures to get my attention until he finally DMed 3 messages (like 1 night he'd like 1 of my old posts than the next night liked another and then on day 3 DMed me). I didn't even open them and flat out blocked him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 Ok so there is history here that you somehow forgot to mention... He dumped you, he was your first true love and there has been ongoing contact for the past 6 years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 @elaine567 Apparently this was a different guy Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 Step far away from the screen and the social media. Live your life in real time. If you want to do stuff online, get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men. Invest your time and energy in yourself and your happiness, not going down these rabbit holes stalking exes. Join some groups and clubs. Volunteer. Get a side job. Develop a self improvement program. Get in shape, etc. Use your time to do what makes you happy and healthy. Invest in productive activity. Do 2 things. What you want to do with your life and what you need to do to have a good life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xforeverlove30 Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 (edited) 24 minutes ago, elaine567 said: He dumped you, he was your first true love and there has been ongoing contact for the past 6 years. Nope it was the ex before this one. I actually started dating this ex right after the toxicness with the previous one was completely over (he blocked me and it was done) than I met this ex (the one mentioned in the other post you just shared) who I admit is the only one of my exes I truly have feelings for but I've finally moved on because I know our paths will never cross again so there's no point. And if you guys are curious about my dating history, I actually have another account on here where I've discussed my more recent exes. Anyways I went and looked through an old FB convo with my friend and it turns out that several years ago I added that ex (the one mentioned in THIS post) on LinkedIn and he declined my request (I added him in 2017 and since he unblocked/followed back/liked my pics on Insta I thought he wouldn't care about LinkedIn but I guess he takes it more serious & doesn't want to connect professionally just socially?) so I never had him to begin with. And he unblocked me on FB in 2019. And she added me more recently 7 months ago, perhaps it's a coincidence that she added me and may not be aware of the past history with her BF. Either way I don't think she has any malicious intent, I'm just not sure if she adding me is a coincidence or not (if it's the later I'm curious as to why a female in this position may do that hence my question) Edited March 25, 2021 by xforeverlove30 Link to post Share on other sites
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