Is he interested?

[xforeverlove30]

21 minutes ago, xforeverlove30 said:

serious & doesn't want to connect professionally just socially?

That + he has no respect for me so when he returns he expects me to be welcoming but won't return the favour (i.e. knows he can send me a request and I'd accept but I can't expect the same thing back) 

 

Also side note: The reason why these all seem like one guy is because this EXACT scenario keeps repeating itself with every single guy. Meet, date, things go sour, guy blocks me, guy randomly comes back and than tries to act like nothing bad ever happened and than once again abandons me. It's a toxic cycle but literally ALL my exes have come back and I now realize it's because I let them. 

Edited March 25, 2021 by xforeverlove30

[elaine567]

33 minutes ago, basil67 said:

@elaine567  Apparently this was a different guy

Yeah sure two guys from 6 years ago doing the same block/unblock manoeuvre... right up till now...

[ExpatInItaly]

29 minutes ago, xforeverlove30 said:

Also side note: The reason why these all seem like one guy is because this EXACT scenario keeps repeating itself with every single guy. Meet, date, things go sour, guy blocks me, guy randomly comes back and than tries to act like nothing bad ever happened and than once again abandons me. It's a toxic cycle but literally ALL my exes have come back and I now realize it's because I let them. 

You need to really examine the men you go for, and your own role in these toxic dances, in that case. 

The common denominator is you. 

[GeorgiaPeach1]

4 hours ago, xforeverlove30 said:

It gets even weirder... I just noticed that HE blocked me on LinkedIN out of nowhere (his account is still up when I search it on private bowser but he is no longer found on my list of connections) WTH.

Why do you care? Leave him in the past where he belongs. 

[d0nnivain]

3 hours ago, xforeverlove30 said:

, I'm just not sure if she adding me is a coincidence or not (if it's the later I'm curious as to why a female in this position may do that hence my question)

It's not a coincidence.  She is keeping an eye on you.   

I do not know why she feels compelled to do this.  She may be a psycho pot-stirrer or he may be giving her reasons to feel the need to keep an eye on you.  

It doesn't matter.  You need to get rid of both of them & not care.  He's an EX.  Nothing he does or doesn't do should matter in your life.  

Move on already.  

3 hours ago, xforeverlove30 said:

this EXACT scenario keeps repeating itself with every single guy. Meet, date, things go sour, guy blocks me, guy randomly comes back and than tries to act like nothing bad ever happened and than once again abandons me. It's a toxic cycle but literally ALL my exes have come back and I now realize it's because I let them. 

Exactly you let them.  I have never in my life done this & I'm in my 50s.  The only EX I'm connected to on social media is the boy I dated for 1 month senior year of HS.  I do have professional interactions with 2 former BFs. We talk about work when forced to & other than an occasional pleasantry stay out of each other's lives.  

In my teens & twenties I had a few friends who always seemed to have trouble with their BFs EXs or certain EXs would cause them trouble; some were the source of trouble meddling in an EX's new relationship. I never understood that mentality & I still don't.  When it's over, be done.  Get them out of your life.  Don't talk.  Don't stay connected on social media.  If you find yourself randomly face to face with an EX while out & about, be cordial.  Say hi with a tight-lipped non-smile then walk away in under 5 minutes.   If you can, leave the place where you saw them -- go to another bar, shop in a different store, walk in the opposite direction -- anything to minimize the interaction. 

[Beachead]

Hey OP,

I think you should focus on asking the questions that matter instead of wasting your own time, asking the ones that don't.

Are you and her friends or are you genually interested in exploring that?   Do you really see you, her and her boyfriend (Your ex)  hanging out together?  Being there during times tough times?  Confiding in eachother.  If you tell her something, he'll know and if you tell him something, she'll know.   They are a package deal now.  You want friendship with her, you get him as well. 

And if you think you'd be cool with that, do you think your next boyfriend will be cool with it as well because you will involving that person into this as well.  Not many partners will like or understand that dynamic..and for a respectful reason too.  It's just begging for some kind of dyfunction.  

If it were me, I go with the option that improves the quality of my life and my mental-health and overall simplifies my life.

- Beach

Edited March 25, 2021 by Beachead

[ms.stressed]

Some people are just nice. Some break ups are mutual and he probably spoke very highly of you. If you feel comfortable doing it, as in, you don't feel any negativity in adding her, do it! Just be mindful of what you share. Keep your relationship, income, and what you do for a living private because people judge.

[Versacehottie]

Does it really matter which ex we are talking about?  You are kind of playing the same exact games as always as elaine was onto -- regardless of which user name you are using.  I would say the fact that you have two user names on here, with us, is further indication that again it's you that plays games and is duplicitous.  the new girlfriend is right to keep an eye on you--not because your ex still likes you because it's never appeared that way---but because she probably knows some of the stuff you pull from her discussions with him.  

Sorry to be harsh, but if it was you that wasn't playing games, you'd drop this or block her. Simple as.   It's you, sorry.

[xforeverlove20]

So for school we had to join a team and will be working with the team throughout the semester where the course is split into 2 parts that take place in 2 rooms where one is individual learning and another is group setting. Anyways I did not form a group on the 1st day and told the professor (in private) after class and he pulled up his list and told me I had been automatically assigned to a group. This guy comes up to me right after and says we are in the same group and he noticed when the prof pulled up the list when he was talking to me and our names appeared on the projector. Side note: it appeared on the projector because the professor forgot to turn it off at the end of the class so others were able to see what he was personally showing me on his computer if they looked at the projector screen

The entire time this guy seemed really nervous and was kind of stumbling on his words. He asked me if I had discord and I said no and noticed how he had an iPhone and I told him how we should iMessage. He seemed kind of hesitant showing me his phone but eventually did (noticed he has a girlfriend lol). I told him how when we do meet the entire group we should all just sit at the same table every class so its easy to work together. He asked me if I go to lectures in the other room and said we should sit together there too (so a side note about this classroom is that its in rows so you have a person to your left and right whereas the group setting is round individual tables). I also find it interesting how he made sure to introduce himself right away instead of waiting for our team to officially meet during the first lab session. He also hasn't met the rest of our teammates.

Edited January 15, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
undoing merge

[glows]

He might be trying to figure things out on the first day, same like you. You happened to bump into one another and he’s just awkward or a bit nervous. I don’t see anything flirtatious at all. 

And even if he is he has a girlfriend. What he does behind her back he can do to you.

[xforeverlove20]

Whenever I would mention any cute guy from our class as a joke he would get super jealous and go like how he's so much better. Then he starts mentioning cute girls from our class to make me jealous. I also met his roommate and when we were discussing my height he asked me to stand up so he can estimate and I said no but when his roommate asked and I stood up he got so upset (like ohh you do it when he says but not me).

I even mentioned my celebrity crush and he goes like meh he's okay and starts talking about how hot his wife is while clearly sounding jealous.

After we had s3x and he was cuddling me, I jokingly mentioned his roommate and the guys from class and he's like well they ain't the ones lying naked next to you in bed...

Edited January 15, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
clarify title

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, xforeverlove20 said:

 well they ain't the ones lying naked next to you in bed...

Are you hoping to date/have a relationship? Unfortunately he only seems interested in hooking up.

He seems to just be looking to score. Avoid him and date men who respect you and who you don't feel the need to play games with.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, xforeverlove20 said:

 he has a girlfriend

He's not available, so think of him as a nice classmate and date other men.

[glows]

Sounds cute but meaningless. He’s just responding to your jokes with more jokes.

Neither of you seem serious so take it for what it is (not necessarily jealousy). Do you wish he cared more about you? 

[basil67]

You're deliberately talking about other hot guys in order to wind this guy up.  And it's working.   Did you know that saying things to make other people feel lesser and disgusing it as a "joke" falls under the heading of abuse?  

He's going along with it now, but when he's had enough, he will not look back kindly on this time with you. 

 

 

 

 

 

[poppyfields]

OP, don't confuse his "jealousy" with actual caring. 

It's not caring, it's EGO.

Big difference and I suggest you learn that difference, it will save you toms of uncertainty and confusion going forward. 

If he actually cared, he'd be doing something about it like pursuing a relationship with you. 

Frankly he sounds like an egotistical a-hat, focused on only himself and his own ego. 

 

 

[xforeverlove20]

10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

He's not available, so think of him as a nice classmate and date other men.

I do not want to date him, I wasn't sure if he was attracted to me and if he was and tried to subconsciously or consciously made a move. I wouldn't feel too comfortable or would keep some distance

[xforeverlove20]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

OP, don't confuse his "jealousy" with actual caring. 

It's not caring, it's EGO.

I never thought of his jealousy as caring and every comment he'd make it sounded like he was insecure and like you said maybe his ego was threatened 

Edited January 15, 2023 by xforeverlove20

[xforeverlove20]

9 hours ago, glows said:

Do you wish he cared more about you? 

What does jealousy have to do with caring? 

Jealousy stems from insecurity and is often used as a form of control 

[poppyfields]

5 minutes ago, xforeverlove20 said:

What does jealousy have to do with caring? 

Jealousy stems from insecurity and is often used as a form of control 

Well, there ya go, you just answered your own question.

Which begs the question, why this thread?  You appear to have a good grasp of the motives behind his "jealous" comments.  Ego, insecurity.

Tbh, the way you phrased your title and initial post did make it sound like you were confused what his comments meant, whether he cared or not. 

In any event, I'm happy to hear you've figured it out.

 

Edited January 15, 2023 by poppyfields

[glows]

4 minutes ago, xforeverlove20 said:

What does jealousy have to do with caring? 

Jealousy stems from insecurity and is often used as a form of control 

I think you’ve misunderstood what I wrote. You’re assuming he’s jealous. All of it sounds meaningless and totally mindless. He’s responding to what you’re saying and playing along because that’s your dynamic - meaningless, light, casual. Casual sex, casual chat.

Someone who didn’t care about what he thinks wouldn’t be asking these questions. Do you feel like you’re being controlled? Again, someone who doesn’t care what this guy thinks wouldn’t feel the least bit controlled at all. OR, have simply stopped talking to him or having sex, period. Interesting that you mentioned that.

[Lotsgoingon]

Relax. You don't know and you don't know if he's worthy of thinking about.

Get on the team and see how he is. Just relax. If there is something there, you two will connect. 

[stillafool]

15 hours ago, xforeverlove20 said:

After we had s3x and he was cuddling me, I jokingly mentioned his roommate and the guys from class and he's like well they ain't the ones lying naked next to you in bed...

Why are you mentioning other guys after just having sex with ANY guy?  It's tacky and seems like you're fishing for him to lock you down.  That's the worse way to go about it if that's your plan.

[smackie9]

Guys are naturally territorial no matter the arrangement agreed on. Doesn't mean he's falling in love, it's more about his ego getting a little butt hurt.