Flirting, I suck

[Tunafish81]

As a 42 y/o M, tall and been told I look good but I kinda suck at flirting.

getting better at eye contact but can I get a few pointers. 

[glows]

Be a good listener. Listen in, be attuned. 

Why do you think you suck at flirting? What else are you doing that you feel isn’t working? 

Edited January 15, 2023 by glows

[Wiseman2]

42 minutes ago, Tunafish81 said:

.Getting better at eye contact but can I get a few pointers. 

Yes, eye contact, a smile, small talk and an approachable demeanor will help. As far as flirting, trite lines don't help that much, so be yourself.

[Tunafish81]

3 minutes ago, glows said:

Be a good listener. Listen in, be attuned. 

Why do you think you suck at flirting? What else are you doing that you feel isn’t working? 

Teasing and banter go ok with a good match, I think I’m meeting alotta women that just don’t match up well. 
 

I incorporated light touch, strong eye contact and get closer 

usually if we have strong vibe  I got the green light for a kiss/make out session but I can’t find a good match.

 

I should give myself more credit

[glows]

It sounds like you’re baking and incorporating this into the dough. I think you’re doing fine. Take your time, don’t rush it and be chill. Read her cues and let her show you she’s into it.

What’s a good match to you?

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Tunafish81 said:

Teasing and banter go ok with a good match, 

This can backfire as being insincere. Please don't use pickup artist tactics, they tend to backfire. Women want a man they can take seriously as well as have a nice time with. Teasing and banter is something you could discontinue for greater success.

[Tunafish81]

5 minutes ago, glows said:

It sounds like you’re baking and incorporating this into the dough. I think you’re doing fine. Take your time, don’t rush it and be chill. Read her cues and let her show you she’s into it.

What’s a good match to you?

Someone physically attractive to me, cute and fit, Similar sense of dark humour and creativity, spontaneity. Those traits I think I vibe well with. 

Edited January 15, 2023 by Tunafish81

[glows]

19 minutes ago, Tunafish81 said:

Someone physically attractive to me, cute and fit, Similar sense of dark humour and creativity, spontaneity. Those traits I think I vibe well with. 

So focus on this and your compatibility overall. This means your lifestyles and goals should match if you’re looking for something long term. Be sincere and know when to tone down the teasing or banter. 

People in general want to feel safe enough to open up and enjoy that time/space together. Similarly you’ll want to cut your losses if you sense someone isn’t on your wavelength. 

[poppyfields]

8 hours ago, Tunafish81 said:

Teasing and banter go ok with a good match...

I always loved teasing and bantering when dating, still do!  

But not all women do so be careful with it,  learn to read women accurately before jumping in with teasing, jokes, banter.

I would say the main thing is exhibiting confidence.

When you're genuinely confident, you're not even concerned about such things.

You're just 'you' and your confidence will shine through and women will sense it.  High confidence can be almost like an aphrodisiac for some women.

Also, displaying a somewhat c*cky playful attitude goes a long way too which goes hand and hand with teasing. 

THAT'S the difference between flirting/escalating with intent and having a nice conversation like you're making a new friend. 

In my opinion and experience.

 

 

Edited January 15, 2023 by poppyfields

[smackie9]

Flirting comes naturally when you are comfortable and confident in yourself. 

[stillafool]

5 hours ago, JuanCamaney said:

If you suck at flirting you can try going Mode 1. Just be direct and make your intentions clear. 

Yeah, I'm a woman and this is my preferred method.