Ruthless Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Okay, I'll try and keep this short. My gf broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. Did it via email because she said she'd back down if she tried to do it in person. She saw me a week later, said she felt she owed me that. Essentially I was controlling, mistrustful and suffocating. I understand her reasons and I'm focusing on the aspects within myself that made me react that way. We were crazy about each other, but it only lasted 6 weeks. We had a total physical, emotional and mental connection that was amazing. Plus we had the most intense sexual chemistry and our sex life was phenomenal. She broke up with me because she felt she was getting back into another relationship where she was being controlled. And she said she swored she'd never go back to that. She told me the "in love" feeling was gone. I asked her when that happened, she told me when she decided to break up with me. When I was there I kissed her. She didn't want me to, said it would make her change her mind, but I did.... it was amazing... as usual, but it didn't make her change her mind, something she was surprised about. When I did kiss her, she said her head was saying "This is so wrong." I asked her what her heart was saying and she said "You stupid bitch." Her reasons are valid and I'm aware if I ever did get back with her, I couldn't behave in the same way I did before. Heck, I don't want to, it was ripping me apart too. Okay, so I'm generally leaving her alone. No contact, although we work in the same building but not on the same floor. A few things have happened. She texted me on Wednesday last week, asking if she can drop by on the weekend and pick up her stuff. (A CD and some shampoo/conditioner). I reply I'll drop them in on a weeknight or on Saturday morning. She doesn't text me back. Yesterday I ran into her in the elevator as I was leaving for work. It stopped on her floor. She got in, glanced at me once, then looked away for the rest of the trip, then strode out when we got to the floor she was going to. She seemed.... angry. And I'm not sure why. Then less than an hour later she changes her online dating profile to say she's only interested in friends because she's not on the market. Her and I don't move in the same social groups and we're only going to run into each other rarely. I'd appreciate any advice anyone has on my prospects for trying to get her back. I need to demonstrate an absence of the behaviour that drove her away, certainly. I appreciate I will need to get over her and I'm doing the best I can. However we both told each other we saw each other as long term. We were in love and we were absolutely crazy for each other. What are my chances? And what can I do to maximise the possibility? I told her "no" to being friends. Any and all advice would be most appreciated. Thanks, guys. Link to post Share on other sites
lostNconfusedx10 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 If I understood what i read, you were only together 6 weeks. Sounds to me like things got too heavy too fast and she freaked out. Sometimes an instant fire is a good thing and sometimes its bad. Sounds like she just got out of an unhappy relationship and saw something in you that reminded her of the past. And truthfully the thing she saw might not have even been there, just that she was shell shocked and thought things would go that way again because she just wasnt ready. Best way to up your chances, time. She is the one with the fear, you cant change that. If you 2 had something special, she will realize it but only when she is ready. The ball is unfortunatly in her court. Whenever you contact her, just find out how she is doing. Be there on a friendly level rather than an "i want you back " level and it may do some good. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Nobody falls in love in six weeks. It's only infatuation at that point, although a lot of people believe it's love. You were no more in love with her than she was with you and had you stayed together for several months, this relationship would have fallen apart anyway. Learn from this, take it much slower next time, and if you need to make changes, do so for the next person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruthless Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 Well it's been odd. A day before she saw me in the elevator, I got my hair cut. So I was looking sharp. Then 2 days after she saw me in the elevator, I get an email out of the blue from someone I've never met. Someone who works at a site where she has friends, but it's not where I work. It says "By the way, your hair looks cool. It really suits you." I email the person who sent it. No reply. I email them again, the next day. They respond with "Very embarassing, my apologies, this was meant for someone else, although I'm sure your hair is good too." Frankly, I'm not buying it, it's too much of a coincidence. Thing is, if it IS something to do with her, what the heck is she playing at? Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 FYI your chick seems messed up. Did you guys fight alot? My guess is yes. Alot of times these women are pretty mental and they point the finger at you as being controlling and yet its them. And so....... perhaps part of her breaking up is being in control a ha Change why should you change? is she changing? most of time you improve yourself and you end up thinking well she is good enough for me or what did I see in them. I had one ex that went on and on about my fitness level. I ended up teaching spin classes, while she was looking for someone to have her as an instructor. I did aerobics classes too.. to which she said out thats too tough for me.. I began to lose my desire for this person.. Heres a tip most women are messed up.. and your right that was her emailing you. Personally I just ignore her.. as nothing nice you do will bring her back..sorry chum Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts