dnm1010 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 i dont believe in keeping in touch with ones ex.. i dont keep in touch with mine and expect the same from my fiance. he had 1 gf for 7 yrs and after being with her she hurt him real bad and he kind of slept around a little bit.. but the girls he slept with started really liking him and then me and him started dating but those girls are obsessed with him. he doesnt care to talk to them but feels bad tellign them off. his ex, pat, doesnt talk to him but is obsessed with his family... she loves to come visit and used to be a bitch to me but now shes all trying ot be nice to me. i know the holiday season is coming around and she always comes to visit and i hate it but i dont know why. its just she is insane, literally, so nicks parents feel bad and humor her and are all nice to her. they even let her sleep over. but they tell me how much they are happy hes with me cos they were scared she would be a bad mother. i live with him and his folks right now. anyway i am not worried abotu his cheating on me cos i know its not gonna happen. i just think its disrespectful to me.. weve managed to cut out most of the other ex-hookups slowly but surely. he let me tell 2 obsessed girls off and we havent heard from them since (i wasnt mean or anything.. anyway if i go into detail with this then this post will be long) im not positive what my question is... i just thought maybe somone had some advice or some points of view on this issue... please dont tear me apart.. im a pretty conservative girl im not used to having lots of exes all around and stuff... thanks everyone for listening . Link to post Share on other sites
Lonelystar Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 Hi. I'm right there with you. I don't understand why you have to keep contact with your ex after the relationship is over. It didn't work out as a relationship why would it work out a friendship? My boyfriend also feels bad telling his ex that he can't talk to her. I thought I was going psycho for being jealous and wanting him to stop, but I'm glad there is someone out there who feels the same way. She tells him things like " I think we're soulmates, but I don't want to get back with you so make your girlfriend understand". Hopefully they don't contact him and personally I think it is disrespectful to you and he should stop. Anyways I hope everything works out for you and his exs leave you guys alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawkgirl Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Thank God there are other girls out there going through the same thing...I was starting to think I was going crazy, and I know my friends are sick of hearing about it. My boyfriend is very honest with me, and always tells me when she calls or emails...but it still drives me crazy that they are even in contact whatsoever. I agree...if it didn't work out as a relationship, why would it ever work out as a friendship?? She says she just wants him to be happy, but deep inside I know that it drives her nuts that he is happy with ME, and not with HER. I try not to be jealous or upset, because I know that they are not ever going to be together, but now that their relationship is over...I want her to be out! Link to post Share on other sites
Katie&James Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 I totally understand what you are going through. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, but his ex girlfriends make it a point to stay in touch with him. It makes me so jealous when he talks to them. One girlfriend even texted him the other day "I had a dream about you last nite." He says he doesn't have feelings for them but why can't he just tell them to leave him alone? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Here's another look at you guys situation. I think that one of you posted something about a ex girlfriend having a relationship with a guy's parents?? The parents relationship is really their business and not yours. There is nothing you can do to prevent them from liking this person. I had a friend from 7th grade forward whose parents adored me from that day forward. They made no bones about it that I was the one they wanted to marry their son- which was too bad because neither of us wanted to marry the other one. I've stayed in loose contact all these years with my first love's mom. She was good to me at a time when I needed it in my life and I can't forget her for that. It's just a card once a year or so. If your guy is with you and he's in love with you and faithful there is no need for you to be jealous of an ex's relationship with your guys parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawkgirl Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 He says he doesn't have feelings for them but why can't he just tell them to leave him alone? Exactly! In my eyes, it is because she still wants to be with him. I think that she constantly contacts him because she believes she is going to drive me away. One of HER guy friends even told my boyfriend a few weeks ago that I was sleeping with someone else...which couldn't be farther from the truth. This girl is crazy, and I don't think she will stop at anything to sabatoge our relationship...yet he still wants to be friends with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Lonelystar Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 I feel the same way. My boyfriends ex gf says the same things about wanting him to be happy and "having dreams about him and thats why she contacts him". Personally I wouldn't care if he was friends with her but she needs to understand that I am with him and stop saying things like "we are soulmates". Anyways for you ladies I suggest talking to your boyfriend and telling him how it makes you feel. Would he appreciate you being buddy buddy with an ex? I know my boyfriends ex cannot stand that fact that he has moved on. She see he is happy and is somehow jealous that she can't be apart of it. I would never call an ex, especially if I knew he had a girlfriend. ( unless something tragic happend..i.e death of someone..). Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawkgirl Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 The good thing is that I can talk about it openly with him, and he has never tried to hide the fact that he talks to her or be sneaky about it. I know that he doesn't initiate contact with her, but it still drives me nuts that he even responds to her calls, texts, and emails. Maybe I'm being selfish in saying that I want him all to myself, but I wish he would tell her to hit the road and leave him alone. He says that he doesn't want to hurt her anymore than she already has been...and I've told him by "not hurting her," he is hurting me. That put an end to most of it...but he said then that he wouldn't even return her calls, emails, whatever...and he still does. She is very manipulative and uses the most ridiculous reasons to get him to respond...she always needs someone's phone number, address, whatever...information she could easily get from someone other than him. Just hearing her name makes me sick to my stomach, and I am tired of being so stressed out about it...but I feel like my relationship with him is constantly being interrupted by her. Grrr... Link to post Share on other sites
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