Author Woggle Posted October 27, 2005 Author Share Posted October 27, 2005 I agree A_C....and WOGGLE also needs to understand that almost everyone is going to look at him and his 15-year-older bride as a extreme mismatched couple. most people do not accept couples where the woman is much older than the man. they will view him as having something wrong with himself, as in why could not he attract someone his own age or younger... Its acceptable for a 50 yr old man to be with a 35 yr old woman but its not acceptable the other way around. people will always be talking behind their backs and making fun of them... I could care less what people think. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Well, to his defense..who really cares about what other people think if they're happy. That's not a reason to not get married in my opinion but there's just so many other things going against them. HIS age, more than hers for one. Link to post Share on other sites
she_9325 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 "Its acceptable for a 50 yr old man to be with a 35 yr old woman but its not acceptable the other way around. people will always be talking behind their backs and making fun of them..." are you kidding me. who cares what other people say or think of him or them. they're grown ups, not elementary school kids. woggle, go for it. you know in your heart why you love her. sometimes you just KNOW right off the bat. so what if you've only known her / been with her 3 months. go for it. be happy. congratulations and best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 WAIT till you have spent more time with her. There is no need to rush into any relationship or marriage. For someone who got burnt already you don't seem to have learnt a lot... I bet you felt certain the first time that she was the one, that things would be perfect and that you would stay with her till the end of time. Well, did this happen? - NO. You're divorced, became bitter and now you're rushing into something just because you think you're doing the right thing. I understand that she is 41, but let me be frank, if she was willing or able to wait for so long, she will have to wait a little bit more. It's not fair to expect that you will marry her so soon because she hears her biological clock. She won't stop being fertile tomorrow, next week or next month, so don't let yourself rush into anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Well, to his defense..who really cares about what other people think if they're happy. That's not a reason to not get married in my opinion but there's just so many other things going against them. HIS age, more than hers for one. K a bit confused by this post...you said who cares what people think and then you say that HIS age is a problem..I don't get it? I think that Woggle has already made up his mind and if you haven't Woggle then you aren't ready. If you have to ask for other people to give you the go ahead if your ready then you aren't. Marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly as you know, but it should be entered into without having to ask others if it's right. You know your heart and what you are ready for. Be cautious that she's not just in this because her clock is ticking. I think the 3 months is a bit soon but I got engaged after 6 months and it didn't last...so there again, follow your heart, if you think it's time and your ready go for it, but if you are afraid you might loose her if you don't do it now than I would surely think twice. Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 " I " ... Hummmmm do you realize that there is another person going to be in the marriage and also the decision as to when ? Are you sure about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 K a bit confused by this post...you said who cares what people think and then you say that HIS age is a problem..I don't get it? I think that Woggle has already made up his mind and if you haven't Woggle then you aren't ready. If you have to ask for other people to give you the go ahead if your ready then you aren't. Marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly as you know, but it should be entered into without having to ask others if it's right. You know your heart and what you are ready for. Be cautious that she's not just in this because her clock is ticking. I think the 3 months is a bit soon but I got engaged after 6 months and it didn't last...so there again, follow your heart, if you think it's time and your ready go for it, but if you are afraid you might loose her if you don't do it now than I would surely think twice. Ok, I'll clarify...say he's 33 and she's 48...same age difference. No problem. He'd be older and know himself by then. See what I mean? It's not the age DIFFERENCE so much at this point it's HIS age. He's too young to really know what he wants in a partner. He!!, he's too young to really know HIMSELF yet, let alone choose a life partner! Ok, so do you get what i'm saying about the age thing now? Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 woggle, I was thinking how long since your 1st wife cheated and since the divorce? Do you want kids? If you want kids , do you want them right away? you posts have changed dramitically over the past months this woman change fufill you or take away all the hurt. I hope you are truly over everything that has happened or else this won't work. Link to post Share on other sites
pearlsasinger Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Hey, Woggle, obviously you care a lot about your girlfriend. It sounds like you've grown very close in the few months you've been dating. Are you 110 percent certain this is what you want and that it's the right decision? Would waiting another 3 to 6 months be so hard? You owe yourself at least another few months to be sure! No matter how in love and compatible a couple, I think getting engaged that early is unwise. I'm sure you feel like you know her inside and out, but a lot of couples haven't even had a real fight that early. It always seems as though the real obstacles don't come until after a year (or two or three!). Don't you want to know how you function together through the tough times? Why rush things? My advice is take some more time. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Does she want to have a big traditonal wedding? If not, you could always wait until June, and if you are still sure, elope. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 OK, buddy. You claim to be a 'genius'. It's time to engage your intellect and logic. Listen again to this: If she is that great and pefect for you waiting a year to make sure won't ruin anything. Take you time. Do you really want a second divorce? Won't it be better to take a little extra time. How about living together and take a vacation together first to see how you two do 24/7 then talk about living together. then see. I cannot emphasize strongly enough to you how many people believe as sincerely as you do that three months is long enough to get to know someone only to find out three or six months later that there was a LOT they did not know. The point about your first wife is a good one - how long did it take her 'real' personality to come out? You cannot logically possibly know everything about somebody who has lived to the age of 40 by dating her over three months' time. There is no rush. In fact, you may convince her that you are exactly the wrong man to marry because you are not showing that you have yet learned that you cannot get to know someone well enough to decide to marry in so short a time. In fact, you'll be demonstrating that you are not sufficiently mature to realize that this is not the sort of decision you should make in that amount of time, thereby putting the lie to your claims of being 'mature enough' to make this decision. Any friend of mine who received a proposal from someone after three months would be counseled strongly to drop the man or at least say no until sufficient time has passed to find out whether there are troubling issues ahead. C'mon, W. Let's think with the upper brain here. The hugest conceit of people who think they're smart is that they're smart enough to be able to make these decisions. It's NOT about how long you've lived, your IQ points, how long you've lived alone, how many businesses you have, etc. etc. It is the fact that you simply cannot possibly know everything about someone who is 40 (or 30 or even 25) in that short amount of time. Go read about 'oxytocin' and about love chemistry and do not make the mistake of thinking that you in all your brilliance are immune to that. You are a mere mortal like the rest of us and not above your biology. Link to post Share on other sites
hhaaaahoooooh Posted November 2, 2005 Share Posted November 2, 2005 Hmmmm, remember one of your first posts? "It is never a good time for a man to get married. No offende to any women here but most women these days are not worth marrying. A man will just be setting himself up for heartbreak. I say men just get a girlfriend with her own place and visit often. That way if things go wrong you can cut her off with minimal drama." And you seriously think you are going to get to know each other by June???? To call of an engagement is not an easy task without embarrassment and sorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
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